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wa alykum salam. I am sure there are people who would be ready to help.

I am in fact counting on tbaba.

But I think your problem is half solved because already you have realised there is a problem and are ready to find solutions.

a mistake you make though is allowing your past weight you down. Once you ask for forgiveness with sincerity, be hopeful you are forgiven. seek from Allah whatever you wish and he will answer you.

Dont think your sins are too big that Allah wouldnt answer your prayers or acc3pt your worship. Remember shaytan asked to be able to mislead even after he had commited the great sin in disobedience to Allah and Allah answered him.

I pray Allah keeps you firm in the deen. do not despair. the favor of Allah is near.

Alhamdulilah, you made a good point for telling us that you won't be able to observe your solah when you doing what Allah doesn't want.
This is Islam, this is how practical it is. Solah is a guard. Before anything, just start the salah fully again and inshallah every thing will follow. I pray Allah will reward you with Aljanah just as you wish. Amin.

Assalm aleikum bro,

I smiled when i read your story because Allah has already shown you His mercy... That guilty conscience within you is a mercy from Allah. Allah has put it within you so that you can find your way back. For many, that guilty conscience is gone. The fact that you are here seeking help is a mercy from Allah.

Your story is a classic ploy of shaytan. He makes you feel as if you are so bad. As if hope is lost. Sometimes, we make mistakes and shaytan makes us feel shame. He tells us: Are you going to pray now? you hypocrite!! ... But the truth is: where are we going to go? We have no where to go but Allah

A mother might hit her child but the child still runs to the mother for succour.. It has no place to go. The same with us, Allah is the only refuge we have.

How big is your sin?? Do you think it is greater than the mercy of Allah??

Allah COMMANDS the muslim to NEVER despair of the mercy of Allah:

Say, ‘[God says], My servants who have harmed yourselves by your own excess, do not despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful. (Surah 39:53)

Do not despair of Allah's mercy, Allah forgives all sins... What kinds of sins are we talking about?? what about Allah's mercy??

In surah Furqan, Allah speaks of those who have committed shirk, injustice, Zina and murder:

those who never invoke any other deity beside God, nor take a life, which God has made sacred, except in the pursuit of justice, nor commit adultery.Whoever does these things will face the penalties: their torment will be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and they will remain in torment, disgraced, except those who repent, believe, and do good deeds: God will change the evil deeds of such people into good ones. He is most forgiving, most merciful. People who repent and do good deeds truly return to God. (Surah 25:68-71)

Allah speaks of people who have committed shirk, murder, injustice and Zina . Allah says if you:

i. Repent sincerely

ii. Revive your faith

iii. Continuously do good deeds

Not only will He forgive you, He will convert your mountain of sins into good deeds... SubhanAllah... This is the mercy of Allah..

So bro, There is hope... All you need to do is revive your faith , form good habits.... Start going to the mosques early on fridays... Listen to khutbah, Listen to Islamic Lectures online.

As regards your muslim brothers, I think shaytan put the thoughts of 'intolerance of northern brothers' in your heart. Try to get closer to them no matter how they seem to be. They will remind you of the salat and that is what is the best for you...

Trust me, it is not a coincidence that you meet a nice christian brother when you feel your brothers are intolerant.

The biggest ploy of shaytan is to get you to commit shirk. For all the other sins, Allah might forgive after death.... For Shirk, there will be no forgiveness after death. If Shaytan gets you to commit shirk and die on it, his job is complete.

Learn about your relationship with Allah and about your religion:

About your relationship with Allah: Read the section on Surah fatiha here:

https://www.nairaland.com/1007823/journey-through-quran-amazing-quran

As regards your christian friend, you need to cut going to church with him for any reason at all.

Fulfill his rights as a neighbour but work on reviving your own faith first.. That is your priority.

I would send this to your email.

You can always mail me : tbaba1234@yahoo.com

Assalamu Aleikum

salam alaikum op. I assume you're sincere and welcome you home. the soul destined for the Jannah will never settle, will never be truly happy in this low life, until it finds its way back to Allah. it may sink to the lowest of the low, but will rise again. May Allah guide and have mercy on you.

OP, I laughed at the 'teblic' part of your story.

For the rest of your story, there is absolutely no need to be self-deprecating. Just consider your past as a stepping stone towards becoming a better Muslim. You can share the burning issues you have with us here.

There is no need to overburden you with too many lectures. Tbaba's lecture is good enough.