They provide excellent financial support and some emotional support, but here is the situation...

Immediate family -

Mother is a jealous hypocrite who it has gotten to the point where I don't feel comfortable dresisng up in front of her because she will just be envious, look at me when she doesn't think I am looking etc. She is a loser with no self esteem and is so weak minded and such a follower - she almost ruined my life with her bad advice. My dad is an OCD freak with anxiety, he likes arguemnts, tension etc. He is also slightly peverted i.e. he looked at my butt when he thought I wasn't looking etc. They used to have issues like doemstic violence, family arguments, money worries etc - where I would often sort out the domestic abuse. My brothers are fair weathered friends who only care about me for the jokes, but not for anything serious i.e. don't care about my feelings, when some people were making fun of me they diddn't really stand up for me, when I was crying in my room they just walk past - they don't like to get invovled.. and just generally with my inter mediate family, so much more - I don't hate them and I don't hold grudges against them, they just are a dissappointment and I don't love them like I once did, and the more I am around them the sadder I feel.

Extended family - Just general drama i.e. people have family grudges, family arguments, so many people in my family don't talk to each other, people dont trust each other, lies, deciet, ENVY, JEALOUSY and so much more.. nothing serious like physical fightrs but so much emotional turmoil... can you imagine, my dads own aunt called immigration on him when he first came the UK because she wanted to be the only one here in the UK. Also, there are many criminals, bad people etc in my family.. There are also peverts in my family I was "touched up" by a male cousin when I was 5, he was 7 which led me to be hypersexual as a child i.e. MouthAction age 7.. and I recently had a cousin who is 20 make sexual advances towards me... an uncle used to flirt with me etc when I was 11 he was 30's and I am sure that if I had allowed it, the relationship would have progressed to something even more sexual... I just don't trust the men in my family, or most men in general...

So what do I do?

Either forgive and forget, and just try and make it work...

or move away and start a brand new life for myself and keep them all at WHOLE BODY length.

is this what the average igbo family is like, is this common in nigeria?

Seriously dunno what to say or where to start from cos your family ish is really...somehow.

Have you tried talking to someone you can trust like your pastor or tried reaching out to a couple of yur extended relations back in naija?...facebook wont be a very bad idea..though be careful with the *needy* ones sha o.


Sorry my pieces of advice are a bit pretty bland but hey.. Its a start.