chaircover:

For me, the major concern is why you are having so many arguments and why he is verbally abusive towards you. Now that to me is more important than getting him to marry you. Its the relationship that is sick and not the "I am not marrying you right now" and that is the priority. What is the point of getting married in january if God forbid you are going to go your separate ways in december?

You said it!!

jennykadry: It's not about making him marry her but her happiness. This woman is clearly unhappy but have chosen to keep the MRS title (or whenever he marries her).

Marry him in the registry if you like, my main question is, LOOK DEEP DOWN (sentiments aside) AND ASK YOURSELF : ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THIS MAN?

So did you!!

dominique:

Oga, pls consult your dictionary and look up the meaning of couple and point out where it specifically states they have to be married.
Infact let me help you out

Couple (n)- Two people who are married,living together or having a sexual relationship.
Capish?

Madam, my concept of couple is married folks. Not minding my dictionary's expression of the word. Dnt really like cohabiting persons to refer to themselves as a couple. Bcoz reality is beyond the word. You get my drift? Coz I get urs.

chaircover:

Generally speaking a number of Yoruba families do not collect a cash brideprice . ..or better said the husbands family do bring it, but the brides father returns it/does not take it/gives it back to the husband etc etc

The husbands family is still expected to bring the usual traditional wedding things such as yams etc and that is shared within the family

I am a freebie myself

Me too I prefer the word priceless tho

Doncolio:

Madam, my concept of couple is married folks. Not minding my dictionary's expression of the word. Dnt really like cohabiting persons to refer to themselves as a couple. Bcoz reality is beyond the word. You get my drift? Coz I get urs.

Yeah I do but regardless how you look at it, two people in a relationship are a couple weather or not they cohabit .

[quote author=chaircover]

Generally speaking a number of Yoruba families do not collect a cash brideprice . ..or better said the husbands family do bring it, but the brides father returns it/does not take it/gives it back to the husband etc etc

The husbands family is still expected to bring the usual traditional wedding things such as yams etc and that is shared within the family

I am a freebie myself
hmmm, i was sold then. Cos they gave 2000 and my family gave back 1000.
Well, i believe the op should get out fast, since the bride price is cheap and the man still refuse to.
But, if a woman is worth it, i do not think any man will hesistate or even postpone to seal the deal.
op, i do not think you mean anything to this man.

.

Jo

2000 $ or Naira?

Now that boggles mind why not Kuku take it all?

Anyways your quick deduction bout OP you don't know is shocking too, you just don't get it do you? The problem here is not the bride price and aso ebi but their rocky relationship they need to work on , the deed is already done , she can't kill the baby abi?

She brought her predicament because she's entangled about her decision. Pls advice constructively rather crying over spilled milk.

I don't think she has any predicament.(IMO)
She is either inside or outside, currently she is outside begging to enter the home of someone that have the potentials of an emotional abuser. Knowing how women behave, she's been drumming it into the man's ears consistently for ages and still the man refuse to budge.
@op,I wonder whether you will continue to beg him to marry you till infinity.
Give him space if he is not forthcoming, walk with your baby.

Your own opinion .Go help her pack with the baby then.

bukydiamon: pls help me get out of this mess.

i got pregnant in july, 2011. my husband to be came to meet my parent to pick a date when he and his family will come for the intro. after this, i got sick and was admitted for 2 months. i was later advised not to do any wedding until after delivery. i moved in with him afterwards and i'm still living with him as i write.after the naming of our child, i told my husband to go see my parents. he said i should give him time to gather some money b4 he will do that. my baby will be a yr this april and its still the same excuse. my problem now is, anytime we had aurguement, he will reign causes on me and tell me he is not sure he will ever get married to me.i dont blame him though cos i moved in with him. pls how do i make this man pay my bride price so that i can live with peace of mind with him. i thought of going back to my parent's house so that when he didn't see me, he will do the right thing. at the same time, i look back cos of my child. pls Nl. help me!

Hi Bukky (you are my namie ),

1 fact I am so sure is that 'there is nothing you can do to make anybody love/accept/pay your bride price/respect you'

A man that values a woman always chases her for marriage. It's a man that is eager to pay bride price etc etc. Your been hospitalized is NOT an excuse not to pay your bride price; I have actually never seen a bride present when the envelope is exchanging hands so to speak.

This man has proven (from your story) that he doesn't want you and love can't be forced. It's not cast in stone that you marry the father of your child. It's important and best but there are some exceptions in life. It might even be that God wants you to know whom you are dealing with before you tie the knot. You are still 100% free to pack your things and leave now. You have made no vow before God or man. There is nothing binding you both (apart from the child)

Deep down you know if the man hates you or is reacting to how you behave to him. You know if he was never into you and you thought that a 'baby' would make him love you more. If it's the former, please pack your things to the smallest pin and don't look back till you are 101% certain he has changed. If it's the latter, try to adjust and amend your ways.

God bless you.

Hmmm life is not usually black or white, there is always a shade of grey hanging about.

All relationships have ups and downs, Things are said doing argument that people tend to regret later. Not everyone is "perfect"
Please don't let us all be so quick to tell a lady to pack out of her child's father house. It easy? Poster needs to come and explain fully what the so called brideprice consists off. Do we know the stress the man is going through. Is the woman working etc? Could it be possible that wifey and hubby both needs re orientation?

The man had the intention of marrying her in the first place. Just a few words here and there does not mean the man does not love or want her.

You might want to repackage yourself. He probably thinks he has seen you all, "o ti ri e tan" hence the reason why he has no urge to do it legally. Repackage yourself. I don't know your background but most time, just a bit of re packaging is needed for the man to come back to his senses especially since he had the intention of marrying you before baby came along. He had the intention so he is not being "forced" to marry you.

Why don't you go back to your parents house? If he really loves you, he will come looking for you.