A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and
has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one.
I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right.
But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the
glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it
after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed
her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately
called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police,
and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense
situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box
so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk?
I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said
you told him you didn't have a license,
stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a
dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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Teacher: what's the opposite of laughing?
Kid: Sex
Teacher: How dare you! And why is that?
Kid: Because, laughing haha and sex is ahah

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A secondary school teacher tells class to write an essay on Religion,
Monarchy and Sex. Few minutes later one little boy claims to
have finished. The teacher doesn't believe him, and asks him to
read it out loud. He goes: "Oh, God!" The princess said, "p***y
feels so good!"

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Question: What do you call a bee that produces milk instead of honey?
Answer:Boobee

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the
little guy staring at him , looks down and says: "7 feet tall,
350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and begins shaking him. The big guy
says,
"What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say
to me?"
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just
give you
the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7
feet tall, I
weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh
3 pounds
each, and my name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...
Sweet Jesus, I thought you said "Turn around"
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A man and his wife were having dinner at a very Fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes
over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll
see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says,
“Who was that??!!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my
mistress.” The wife says, “That’s it; I want a divorce.” “I
understand,” replies her husband, “But, remember, if you get a
divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no
wintering in the Caribbean, no Infinity or Lexus in the garage,
and no more Country Club, but the decision is yours.” Just then
the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a
gorgeous woman. “Who’s that woman with Jim? ” she asks.
“That’s his mistress,” replies her husband. “Ours is prettier,”
says the wife.
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More coming so stay tuned....

e sweet abi e no sweet

Na wa oo.If u view this thread and u no comment, u go dream bad dream this night.Say Amen.

Guy your jokes no sweet, go sleep.

Be creative

the jokes are ... um ... u can do better