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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / TV/Movies / My Short Film Script- PARANOIA (18246 Views)
'Action Film'- A Short Film Script By Sholay2011 / Wildfire - A Short Film Script / Nigerian Horror Story- A Short Film Script (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Nobody: 3:37pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Beautiful write-up. Kept me guessing right till the end. At first it seemed like the story of a man who chose not to give up on his dreams. And then it shifted, into the story of a serial killer up to that of a man who realised his problems were little compared to others....... The story kept the mind busy. The image concept is creative. This could be developed into a soap. You know more about the street and its strange inhabitants. On a lighter note, the guy just got his dreams delivered to him, years earlier........ Romance could brew between him and funmi. The dog won't pose too much rivalry. 1 Like |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Tuniks2: 3:50pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
nice, nice more grease 2 ur elbow. Would lyk to do d shooting wif u |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Nobody: 3:52pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
As a scriptwriter myself, I appreciate the story on so many levels. First off, it's a unique idea. The plot is engaging. However, it needs to be fleshed out before it can truly be presentable for shooting. This 'fleshing' out can be done with a scriptwriter who knows what he or she is doing. I might be able to give you some more pointers on how to proceed, but I feel that you've already given away too much info on your script, hell. . . you've practically sent it out, now, anyone can steal it and develop it. For that reason, I wouldn't want to give you ideas which anyone can just pick up and make the story complete, then take credit for it. You may reach me on ejogoken@yahoo.com for pointers. Once again, it's a great idea sholay2011: Hello. I just drafted this 'insane' short film script and would love to be constructively criticised. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by An0nimus: 3:55pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Fumni should be working at a Psych Ward ..*in Yinka Davies' voice* Welldone!!! |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Shadydamsel(f): 3:58pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
How can I create a topic on nairaland pls? |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by BANGASOUP1: 4:05pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
sholay2011: Hello. I just drafted this 'insane' short film script and would love to be constructively criticised. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by MahatmaGhandi: 4:08pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
this is top class, can picture the TINSEL characters doing justice to this one, the picture of this in my head is too beautiful, pls i will like to audition. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Ignatio(m): 4:09pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
This will make a nice short film. Nice story. And for those that sayid they don't understand it need people to understand them first. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by waziriu(m): 4:14pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Short and sweet and giving us the readers enough information to ingest the scene in an abyss of potential follow-on scenarios. Get it out there onto YouTube and find out whether people like it. I personally love in in 1D (Read it) but in 2D (Watching it) you shall be bringing your idea to life. With enough views , Youtube shall pay you for content. It's not about the revenue from Youtube but your potential as a writer. I have juice secreting creative episodes as well and can appreciate your natural effort. As Nike would say, Just Do It. And Obama would also say' Yes we can'. See you at the Festival De Cannes. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by sholay2011(m): 4:18pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Marvin G: As a scriptwriter myself, I appreciate the story on so many levels. First off, it's a unique idea. The plot is engaging. However, it needs to be fleshed out before it can truly be presentable for shooting. This 'fleshing' out can be done with a scriptwriter who knows what he or she is doing. I might be able to give you some more pointers on how to proceed, but I feel that you've already given away too much info on your script, hell. . . you've practically sent it out, now, anyone can steal it and develop it. For that reason, I wouldn't want to give you ideas which anyone can just pick up and make the story complete, then take credit for it.Thanks very much. My email is oladesuolusola@yahoo.com. I would appreciate your 'fleshing out' tips. Thanks once again. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by omidhe(f): 4:19pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Surprising how everyone look at the story from the physical , I guess the writer himself didn't know how much abstract work he has created . Beautiful imagery. I belive the whole event happens in Thompson's head , between his sub-conciousness, a man who has built his own enemy , in other that he might have someone to blame for the woes that have befall him ,only for him for him to find out that he is stronger than the enemy he has created , and in all of that , his supposed enemy -the dog his happier than him . Lesson learnt , in all be contended with what you have , and if you want more in life , stand up and hustle for it , instead of looking for who to blame for your failure . Fumi probably most have looked everywhere for happiness -husband and kids , and since none was forthcoming , she created her happiness herself -the dog , and the dolls .lesson learnt , life will give to you what you first give to yourself , happiness is from within , nobody who cteat yours for you . Hey sholay , am a script writer , too . U wanna hook up ? Great work you 'v got there, I must say welldone . 1 Like |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by VillageBoi(m): 4:22pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Even much better. Just by adding the character description - 'She has unkempt hair with a quirky smile' makes such a HUGE difference to the reading of it. With that you have BUILT a character long before we even get to know anything about her and you have now done the 'perfect' thing to your audience... you took them to the top of the cliff and then you pushed them off it... simply brilliant!! Totally love this! 1 Like |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by kunlefox(m): 4:25pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
omidhe: Surprising how everyone look at the story from the physical , I guess the writer himself didn't know how much abstract work he has created . Beautiful imagery. I belive the whole event happens in Thompson's head , between his sub-conciousness, a man who has built his own enemy , in other that he might have someone to blame for the woes that have befall him ,only for him for him to find out that he is stronger than the enemy he has created , and in all of that , his supposed enemy -the dog his happier than him . Lesson learnt , in all be contended with what you have , and if you want more in life , stand up and hustle for it , instead of looking for who to blame for your failure . Fumi probably most have looked everywhere for happiness -husband and kids , and since none was forthcoming , she created her happiness herself -the dog , and the dolls .lesson learnt , life will give to you what you first give to yourself , happiness is from within , nobody who cteat yours for you . Hey sholay , am a script writer , too . U wanna hook up ? Great work you 'v got there, I must say welldone . I totally agree with your point on the abstract reasoning...it's just that good of a script! It's so good Sholay is getting the feedbacks and how people can relate with it in the abstract sense..Once again Welldone man! Welldone! |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Ogundale(m): 4:29pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
sholay2011:see me on google lane avenue caliport |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by VillageBoi(m): 4:30pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Personally I don't think you need to 'flesh' it out. Simple 'shorts' with a 'twist' work much better than 'trying-to-be-complex' shorts for the simple reason of time. If developing it for a feature then you would have the liberty of TIME to really get into the 'bits & bobs' of your characters. You've done a damn good job of writing this and if there was something KEY that really was missing from it then you wouldn't have had such a great reaction to it. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by ocheejemb: 4:35pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Haha...very goood...didnt see that one coming...you should shoot this |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by VillageBoi(m): 4:36pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
omidhe: Surprising how everyone look at the story from the physical , I guess the writer himself didn't know how much abstract work he has created . I think the writer deserves much more credit than that and that he DID KNOW absolutely what he was creating. 1 Like |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by sholay2011(m): 4:42pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
VillageBoi:Thanks very much bro. You really see it from my view. It's amazing how people also give deep interpretation from their angles on the same story. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by kunlefox(m): 5:07pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
VillageBoi:I think she was actually complimenting him and looking at it on the abstract sense...Though the part she goes "I don't think the writer understand the abstract work he had created" sounded like she was undermining the writers' imagination but she definitely credited him for saying the script can be viewed in abstract sense which I agree with her and I'm not undermining his imagination..it's a beautiful piece! |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by VillageBoi(m): 5:07pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
sholay2011: You know you have done an amazing job when 'your audience' comes out of the film-viewing/script-reading and are debating/arguing about what they've just watched/read. You've hit a mega nail on the head. Keep it up man!! |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by VillageBoi(m): 5:10pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
kunle fox: Thanks for that clarification (if it is so). The line I responded to didn't read as a compliment even though some other parts of her post did. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by SOJ111(m): 5:11pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
I think this is fantastic, I don't know what it was like before but its completely edited and perfect when I read it. Its intelligent, concise and straight to the point. Bravo! |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by biolabee(m): 5:16pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Sweet story bro There is breadth for expansion More xters on the street, funmi stalking Thompson , office things Keep at it n u never know you can Have another cosmopolis |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by ojesoj(m): 5:17pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
@sholay2011, i admire ur zeal 4 script writing. i would like 2 work with you on future films.even this short script also if yu ar in abuja. am an aspiring filmmaker. My only issue is script writting. I have a lot of stories i av written that would sell in million naira wen shot wen converted 2 creative script. I would like 2 work with you. I av a good skill in directing.i hav all necessary camera,lights and tripod. Are you ok i make d movie 4 ds short film |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by obask(m): 5:19pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
This is a splendid write up. I love d interpretation of d characters words....short n precise....I will like to see more represention of d character of d image.......is a gud work...u need to make more link wth d other character ...esp d Mrs..n to more editing...keep it up.......u r getting dere bro..one love |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by ghettodreamz(m): 5:21pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Even though, I haven't been active on Nairaland in the recent times, I couldn't help it but log in to drop a comment. Nice job you have here, I always appreciate intellectual abilities, whenever I see or smell one, this is no doubt a brilliant piece of art work, only one or two touches to it, with the right resourceful people, then you are there. Eku ishe opolo, ko ni tan nibe~ All the best. 1 Like |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by ojesoj(m): 5:26pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
@sholay2011, where you base bros.......we need to make film that Nigerians can actually go the cinema, enjoy paying their hard earn resources to get entertain |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by semid4lyfe(m): 5:35pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Not sure but I think this is the first movie script to make Nairaland homepage. Congrats to the OP for making history |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by kaybest1: 5:35pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
men i cant stop reading again and again your view about the story sure you must be a great writer. omidhe: Surprising how everyone look at the story from the physical , I guess the writer himself didn't know how much abstract work he has created . Beautiful imagery. I belive the whole event happens in Thompson's head , between his sub-conciousness, a man who has built his own enemy , in other that he might have someone to blame for the woes that have befall him ,only for him for him to find out that he is stronger than the enemy he has created , and in all of that , his supposed enemy -the dog his happier than him . Lesson learnt , in all be contended with what you have , and if you want more in life , stand up and hustle for it , instead of looking for who to blame for your failure . Fumi probably most have looked everywhere for happiness -husband and kids , and since none was forthcoming , she created her happiness herself -the dog , and the dolls .lesson learnt , life will give to you what you first give to yourself , happiness is from within , nobody who cteat yours for you . Hey sholay , am a script writer , too . U wanna hook up ? Great work you 'v got there, I must say welldone . |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by sholay2011(m): 5:43pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
semid4lyfe: Not sure but I think this is the first movie script to make Nairaland homepage.LOLz! Thanks sir. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by sholay2011(m): 5:46pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
omidhe: Surprising how everyone look at the story from the physical , I guess the writer himself didn't know how much abstract work he has created . Beautiful imagery. I belive the whole event happens in Thompson's head , between his sub-conciousness, a man who has built his own enemy , in other that he might have someone to blame for the woes that have befall him ,only for him for him to find out that he is stronger than the enemy he has created , and in all of that , his supposed enemy -the dog his happier than him . Lesson learnt , in all be contended with what you have , and if you want more in life , stand up and hustle for it , instead of looking for who to blame for your failure . Fumi probably most have looked everywhere for happiness -husband and kids , and since none was forthcoming , she created her happiness herself -the dog , and the dolls .lesson learnt , life will give to you what you first give to yourself , happiness is from within , nobody who cteat yours for you . Hey sholay , am a script writer , too . U wanna hook up ? Great work you 'v got there, I must say welldone .I am very impressed at the way you 'dissected' the story. You must be a very good writer. |
Re: My Short Film Script- PARANOIA by Dejiteru: 5:48pm On Apr 08, 2013 |
Great job, how can I get permission to shoot this?....I will love to bring this script to life..... 1 Like |
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