acidtalk: You guessed right madam.

Yes! It is because you are JOBLESS.
Yes! It is because you are now FAT.

This are two very serious issues you are taking in such a light manner.

Do yourself and family a huge favour and get a job. It doesn't have to be so high paying. A N60,000 salary from you will go a long way to ease the financial burden you have placed your husband into.

Also no man who got attracted to a well shaped and average size lady will now start seeing a YOKOZUNA by his side and be happy. Part of the reasons he probably got attracted to you was your stature, so why add so much weight?

By the way, what you you mean other men appreciate your cooking? Who are the other men you are cooking for? Or dressing to impress so you can get their aTtention.

Are you sure you have never cheated on your husband?

obama'sbabe:
Hello friends. Please I created this thread out of frustration and I will need contructive contributions.
My marriage is barely 2years and I have this fear that its at the brink of collapse. My hubby who used to be my best friend has suddenly changed. There is no friendship between us. The only time we are together is when we are discussing other people or getting intimate. And we only get intimate after so much persuasion from me.
For over a year I have never heard any sweet word from him but I hear him complementing other ladies.
He never complements my dressing yet other men do. He never complement my food and kind gestures yet other men do. All I hear is condemnation.
The most painful part is that he has more female friends. And he keeps lying to me about these girls.
All the love and affection he once had for me he has transfered to our dauther.
He is making the marriage uninteresting for me.
Is it because am jobless? Or I because I added some weight(cos he keeps complaining about my weight).
Or is this how men act as soon as they get married?
Each night we sleep in the same bed like total strangers.
Honestly am frustrated.

coogar:

find a good gym and burn those adipose tissues.
i don't like excess fat too - blubber, grease and loads of wheezing can turn the most virile man on the planet into a monk. get your shape back to the time you first met your hubby and go out more(get a job or start a small business).

Roland17: Who says Marriage is a bed of roses physically, Financially and emotionally?

Who says married people don't fall out and back in love with each other.

Your husband is very uncomfortable about something he is not willing to speak to you about maybe because he expects u to figure it out yourself (u are no magician thus u can't) except ur communication lines (verbal and non verbal) are very strong, it might have to do with your new weight which u have already noticed, it could also be about the financial burden/ stress he is shouldering.

Communication and Patience!!! these factors are inevitable in any friendship, irrespective of his coldness, approach and speak to him about how u feel rather than making assumptions, find out what the problem is, u might be surprised it has nothing to do with you, it might have to do with other aspects of his life but it could also be YOU.

Loose some weight and work very hard to get a job, it does not have to be a million dollar job, something that keeps u busy and out of the house.

P.S: 100 years of dating can never be compared to 1 day of marriage.

You would be fine

chaircover: Oga oooooo!!!! Where is the love these days? What kinds of ME ME ME relationships are we breeding and living in. Do people really go over the vows that they made on their wedding day once in a while and think about the words carefully and act over them?

According to many, this lady is being teated badly because she went from size 8 to a size 12. Fair enough the husband does not like fat ladies although I def wouldn't call a size 12 as fat. So what does it stop him to assist her and encourage her. What is wrong in saying honey lets go for a walk, or honey lets join a gym together. Anyone can go to a gym even if you are a size 6, so there is nothing stopping her hubby from joining too. What if she had a illness, wont he look after her?

When husband and wife start seeing their spouses problem as the other persons problem only, the gap is going to continue to widen. Meanwhile what are some of the reasons why we get married? Is it not To have a helpmate and someone to encourage us, be our friend and be there for us through ups and downs.

. . . and these things are viscous circles. No condition is permanent. Possibly in 2 years time with hard work she could have a good job, look sexxy and have a lot more confidence. God forbid the husband loses his job or has an illness, how do you want that woman to behave towards him. That is why sometimes we hear stores of men loosing their jobs ad their wives treating them badly and we blame the wife but many times the husband is just reaping what he sowed when things were going well for him.

Madam, dont just assume the reason for your husbands cold attitude towards you, have a sit down and ask him . .and let him speak his mind without you interrupting him and listen very carefully to what he is saying. He may be saying something that you haven't heard before and so you make the necessary changes. If it happens that it is indeed only the weight then hit the gym and find a job.

Always keep lines of communication open. Dont wait until things get so bad before you try and resolve it. Both of you should be open and honest in your expectations and needs and desires. No one else can do these things for you but him(or that will be cheating & you honestly dont want to go down that route) so you have to let him understand your needs so that he can meet them, just as he has to communicate his needs to you too.

chaircover: Oga oooooo!!!! Where is the love these days? What kinds of ME ME ME relationships are we breeding and living in. Do people really go over the vows that they made on their wedding day once in a while and think about the words carefully and act over them?

According to many, this lady is being teated badly because she went from size 8 to a size 12. Fair enough the husband does not like fat ladies although I def wouldn't call a size 12 as fat. So what does it stop him to assist her and encourage her. What is wrong in saying honey lets go for a walk, or honey lets join a gym together. Anyone can go to a gym even if you are a size 6, so there is nothing stopping her hubby from joining too. What if she had a illness, wont he look after her?

When husband and wife start seeing their spouses problem as the other persons problem only, the gap is going to continue to widen. Meanwhile what are some of the reasons why we get married? Is it not To have a helpmate and someone to encourage us, be our friend and be there for us through ups and downs.

. . . and these things are viscous circles. No condition is permanent. Possibly in 2 years time with hard work she could have a good job, look sexxy and have a lot more confidence. God forbid the husband loses his job or has an illness, how do you want that woman to behave towards him. That is why sometimes we hear stores of men loosing their jobs ad their wives treating them badly and we blame the wife but many times the husband is just reaping what he sowed when things were going well for him.

Madam, dont just assume the reason for your husbands cold attitude towards you, have a sit down and ask him . .and let him speak his mind without you interrupting him and listen very carefully to what he is saying. He may be saying something that you haven't heard before and so you make the necessary changes. If it happens that it is indeed only the weight then hit the gym and find a job.

Always keep lines of communication open. Dont wait until things get so bad before you try and resolve it. Both of you should be open and honest in your expectations and needs and desires. No one else can do these things for you but him(or that will be cheating & you honestly dont want to go down that route) so you have to let him understand your needs so that he can meet them, just as he has to communicate his needs to you too.

babseg: Why won't your hubby act like that to you when you talk say u be Obama's babe.

Only God knows who else you are admiring

greatgod2012:
However, i assume you are only assuming, you cant really say what exactly is making him behave the way hes doing until you ask him, what is happening in your marriage is simply known as "communication break-down"

Note of warning...........if he has not started complaing about your weight, do not shed it until you ask him, he might like you the way you are, size 12 isnt much weight, so, do not work on assumption, work on certainty.


Above all, involve God in your marriage, always pray for him,

greatgod2012: @op, every marriage has its ups and downs, so calm down, its a phase, it will soon pass.
However, i assume you are only assuming, you cant really say what exactly is making him behave the way hes doing until you ask him, what is happening in your marriage is simply known as "communication break-down" ...........so, ny dear sister..........initiate communication, if hes not communicating with you, you communicate with him, initiate it, you dont have to wait for him to start talking with you like b4, you start the way you were doing when you were still dating, prepare delicious food and serve your meals together, while eating, open up a topic with him , but dont let it be about money or care of the child, save part of the money he gives you and buy movie ticket for two pple and invite him along, read books and narrate it to him, watch movie and tell him, just make sure you find something to discuss with him,......as you start all these, you will find avenues to ask what you did wrong all along, and dont be too big to beg him, after telling you what is wrong, from there, discuss with how you will like to start doing something to avoid idleness.
Note of warning...........if he has not started complaing about your weight, do not shed it until you ask him, he might like you the way you are, size 12 isnt much weight, so, do not work on assumption, work on certainty.
I wish you well, your marriage is still young, enjoy it, embrace him, invite him for hot sex, prepare the bed in such a way that he cant just resist you, dress smartly and dont forget to show love to his folks, it goes a long way for men to appreciate.
Above all, involve God in your marriage, always pray for him, d devil might want to deal with him and hes distracting him from what can make him happy, so, pray for his happiness, pray for everything that has to do with him, i will recommend the book....."the power of a praying wife" to you, it will help you to know the areas you will pray for about him.
May God help us all.

tessybaby:
Why on earth should she beg her husband. Please let's be realistic when giving advice, we are all human.
OP I would advice you follow CC's advise and if your hubby finally says u did something wrong to make him behave that way, then apologise if you are truely sorry.

Roland17: Who says Marriage is a bed of roses physically, Financially and emotionally?

Who says married people don't fall out and back in love with each other.

Your husband is very uncomfortable about something he is not willing to speak to you about maybe because he expects u to figure it out yourself (u are no magician thus u can't) except ur communication lines (verbal and non verbal) are very strong, it might have to do with your new weight which u have already noticed, it could also be about the financial burden/ stress he is shouldering.

Communication and Patience!!! these factors are inevitable in any friendship, irrespective of his coldness, approach and speak to him about how u feel rather than making assumptions, find out what the problem is, u might be surprised it has nothing to do with you, it might have to do with other aspects of his life but it could also be YOU.

Loose some weight and work very hard to get a job, it does not have to be a million dollar job, something that keeps u busy and out of the house.

P.S: 100 years of dating can never be compared to 1 day of marriage.
You would be fine

obama'sbabe:

All the love and affection he once had for me he has transfered to our daughter.

tessybaby:
Why on earth should she beg her husband. Please let's be realistic when giving advice, we are all human.
OP I would advice you follow CC's advise and if your hubby finally says u did something wrong to make him behave that way, then apologise if you are truely sorry.