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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Lwkmd (5620 Views)
When She Asks For A 3rd Round. Lwkmd / Funniest Joke Ever Lwkmd Accent Brouhaha!!! / Lwkmd! (2) (3) (4)
Lwkmd by Nobody: 12:25pm On Apr 14, 2013 |
Girl ; " Dad, what's better ? To pass or to fail ? " Dad ; " To pass obviously " Girl ; " OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME ! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST " |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 1:02pm On Apr 14, 2013 |
Akpors and his son had a misunderstanding and dis was dia conversation AKPORS: i am nt even sure if u are my real son SON: dad pls dnt say such a thing dad ''with a sad face'' AKPORS: now get into the car we are going to d hospital 4 a test to confirm if u ar my real so. On their way to d hospital the boy phone ring's SON: hello who is dis? CALLER: congratulation u just won 20 million naira on mtn 1trillion mega splash raffle-draw SON: u mean i just won 20 million naira? The dad hears dis and takes a U turn SON: aren't we going to d hospital anymore? AKPORS: son are u blind dat u can't see dat we so much alike,ur eyes are like mine,ur nostrils ar like mine so what do we need an hospital for? so smile 4 daddy Lol One word for Akpors |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 1:17pm On Apr 14, 2013 |
True or False? TEACHER: Class choose between money and brain? AKPOS : I’d go for the money! TEACHER :I’d go for brain! AKPOS :Well everybody goes for what he doesn’t have! |
Re: Lwkmd by Lagusta(m): 3:38pm On Apr 14, 2013 |
godjohnson: Girl ; " Dad, what's better ? To pass or to fail ? this one made me laff till i had an errrectiion |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 4:49pm On Apr 16, 2013 |
**JAMB QUESTION** A Guy was raped by some ladies alongside Onitsha Main market yesterday morning while jogging...This morning over 100 guys where found jogging past the same road... What are they looking for there? 1 Like |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 2:12pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
Father-In-Law: Young man, u’re coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and u’re chewing gum. That’s a sign of disrespect! Akpors: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke. Father-In-Law: You mean u drink & smoke and u’re here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage? Akpors: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club. Father-In-Law: U club too? Akpors: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison. Father-In-Law: U’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God! Akpors: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!! Father-In-Law: What!!! U’re akiller Akpors: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter so I killed him. Father-In-Law: U are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U’re absolutely the right man for my daughter. One word for Akpos. |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 2:13pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
Lagusta: Lagusta: |
Re: Lwkmd by Tureyogb(f): 4:43pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
godjohnson: **JAMB QUESTION** godjohnson: **JAMB QUESTION** |
Re: Lwkmd by Tureyogb(f): 4:48pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
D guys 1 do vice versa |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 9:55pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
Girl: I'm warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon.. AKPOS: But I'm not doing anything.. Girl: That's why I'm warning you, Hurry up. CASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you've bought tonight Sir, Why?.. AKPOS: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it. TEACHER: What's your favorite flower?. AKPOS: Chrysanthemum. TEACHER: Spell it.. AKPOS: I was joking o. My favorite flower is Rose, R-O-S-E. Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Akpos walked straight to the ugly girl. Akpos: Hello! Ugly girl: Hi!! Akpos: Wanna dance? Ugly Girl: Yes (excited) Akpos: OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend.. Papa Akpos: My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do Teacher :- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell "LION"... Papa Akpos : Ah Ah...You know say na SMALL pikin......You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like " MOSQUITO"... Teacher: Behind every successful man there isa woman. What do we learn from this? Akpos: We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN Teacher: Make a Sentence with 'Big' Akpos: The Ram Is Big Teacher: Make a longer sentence. Akpos: The Ram is big ooooooo OPERATOR: 911, wat's your emergency? AKPOS: Two girls are fighting over me.. OPERATOR: So?. AKPOS: The ugly one is winning. Teacher: Who can state one diff btw a Bird and a Fly? .. Akpos: A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird. Sanyeri : why you dey always clean ur yansh before u shit? Akpors : na becos i fit forget to clean am after i shit finish! |
Re: Lwkmd by Lagusta(m): 10:16pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
^^^^^ this is marvellously stupendously majestically consequentially HILARIOUS!!! |
Re: Lwkmd by ikechukz(m): 10:24pm On Apr 18, 2013 |
u try sha |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 5:39pm On Apr 19, 2013 |
tanx guys.more updates coming |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 12:59pm On Apr 21, 2013 |
Girl: Baby I am wet. Boy: Want a paper towel? Girl: No, I want more than that Boy: Want 2 paper towels? Girl: No, baby I want sumthing big and round Boy: Damn you want the whole roll? One word for the Boy. |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 1:00pm On Apr 21, 2013 |
Girl: If we get married, stop smoking. Akpors: Ok! Girl: Drinking too. Akpors: Ok! Girl: N going to the night club too. Akpors:- Yes. Girl:-You stop watchin soccer matches with yo boyz Akpors: Okay! Girl:- What else can u leave?? Akpors:- The idea of marrying You... |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 1:05pm On Apr 21, 2013 |
A hot secretary came out angry out of her boss' office, her colleague asked "What happened? You went in happy and came out angry." She replied, "he asked me if am free tonight? I said absolutely free! Then the bastard gave me 45 pages to type! |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 1:13pm On Apr 21, 2013 |
Police : Where do you live ? Johnny : With my parents Police : Where does your parents live ? Johnny : With me Police : Where do you all live ?… Johnny : Together Police : Where is your house ? Johnny : Next to my neighbours house Police : Where is your neighbour’s house ? Johnny : If I tell you, you won’t believe me Police : Tell me Johnny : Next to my house. |
Re: Lwkmd by Nobody: 1:14pm On Apr 21, 2013 |
A man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes. One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired. The man agreed and said to the car; Car, go and bring my children from school. The car went and didn't return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong. Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive. He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children. The car parked right in front of them and said; "These are your children sir". In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, their choir mistress's two sons, his wife's best friend's daughter, their pastor's son and their neighbours two sons. The Wife said; Don't tell me all these are your children ?. The man asked her calmly; Can you first tell me why our children are not in the car?. ...=D 2 Likes |
Re: Lwkmd by ovalrose(f): 3:00pm On Apr 21, 2013 |
Ladies and gentlemen,a round of applause for this one. |
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