I cheated on my husband and I plan to continue

I have been the angry, unsatisfied and bitter wife for the last nine years. I'm married to a man who has absolutely no respect for the marriage institution. He has had more girlfriends than I have changed my hair since we got married. He started cheating on me months after our wedding in 2004 when I was pregnant. And it hasn't stopped ever since. Every other day a different girl, a different situation, a lot of drama. Initially he would lie or try to cover up when I ask him questions or catch him but now he tells me to go to hell and leave the marriage if I was no longer satisfied.

Well, I have four kids and I don't plan to be a single mother in this kind of environment so I'm staying put in my marriage but I'm done being the victim. Yes, I have started cheating on my husband. I am proud to say I have a boyfriend who I have regular, satisfying sex with. And I have absolutely no plans of being the faithful wife ever again. Once this affair ends, I'm starting a new one. There's no going back now. As long as he's cheating on me, I will be cheating on me. I smile a lot these days and it's not just Jesus putting the smile on my face. This is the happiest I have been in at least 8 years. And I also discovered that quite a number of my female friends have been cheating on their husbands for years now. Why didn't anyone give me the memo sooner? Just thought to share my happy story. Xoxo Happy Lagos wife.

http://lindaikeji..com/2013/04/dear-lib-readers-i-cheated-on-my_30.html

It seems that infidelity is as common with married women as it is with married men in Nigeria. What are your thoughts?

I hope this can be enlightening and hope it is full of mature comments

Please it must not reach FP

Women of NL, over to you

Gets zobo and kilishi ...

In my opinion,a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage and its hard enough to restore a marital relationship when the cheating partner decides to give up the affair but harder when he or she is unrepentant like is the case in this story.
...and for the sake of keeping up appearances,she remains but finds a way to keep her sanity.Can't blame her for real.
Is this common among Nigerian women?I can't say per se but i won't doubt it either.Marriage these days has become a game of sorts and charade and infidelity-something cool.

Well I know a few who would rather stay and cheat also than start over again, infact I was tongue lashed by this crew for not staying and doing my own.
Yes they stay married, satisfy a pretentious society, wear aso ebi, go together for social gatherings but as husband and wife they get their gratification from different sources.
I don't know if the husbands know but since some just have conjugal meets once or twice a year I think they might have a feeling.
I have witnessed it yes and it seems to be catching on. But everyone pretends it doesn't happen, and since more divorce is attached to leaving and starting over this is the option the choose.

Funny that these group will look down on and harrass single women, single mothers and divorces, they have the flashiest wedding rings, "happy family pictures" everywhere but underneath the surface:--------
Its funny how we love to hide and pretend sha.
But for me I would choose to leave and live my life in dignity.
But what do I know? Each to her own

Just stay safe whatever you chose to do.

jntyjnty007: Just stay safe whatever you chose to do.

I don't think I can correlate infidelity with safety in whatever shape or form. I know things happen but would really love to think that marriage has not been turned into a farce in our society. Increasingly, the evidence being discovered is not good.

interesting but i will like macla to change tht topic..

Infidelity among Married Couples

biolabee: interesting but i will like macla to change tht topic..

Infidelity among Married Couples

Nope! That is not the intent of this thread. There is this pervasive notion that Nigerian men aren't faithful in marriage, it is probably true to a large extent. However, women don't get similar perception. Interestingly, it is becoming quite obvious that infidelity amongst Nigerian married women is also quite high. I want to test this hypothesis.

This is not to castigate anybody but just to understand a trend in our society. If you agree with my hypothesis, give your reasons, if you disagree give your reasons.

If you want to talk about infidelity in marriages from both perspectives, you can create another thread for that.

Thank you.

the moral decadence is sickening......
i don't think i would become an armed robber just because armed robbers invaded my home. this wife has always wanted to cheat - she's just using her hubby's infidelity as a cheap excuse. little wonder 50% of firstborns in nigeria are bastärds!

I would rather take a walk than let hubby turn me into what I am not.

If the woman searches herself deeply, she isn't happy. Deep down, she is hurting and unhappy. Just as Debrief said, they all live a pretensious life. They pretend to be happy and even people use them as examples, not knowing the marriage is long gone.

Exactly how many men will she sleep with before she gets the true happiness she craves?

I'll rather take a walk if I can't bear it.

"I'll rather take a walk"-so easy to type/say.

maclatunji:

Nope! That is not the intent of this thread. There is this pervasive notion that Nigerian men aren't faithful in marriage, it is probably true to a large extent. However, women don't get similar perception. Interestingly, it is becoming quite obvious that infidelity amongst Nigerian married women is also quite high. I want to test this hypothesis.

This is not to castigate anybody but just to understand a trend in our society. If you agree with my hypothesis, give your reasons, if you disagree give your reasons.

If you want to talk about infidelity in marriages from both perspectives, you can create another thread for that.

Thank you.

Hmm fair enough since your motive is not to compare the genders or start a gender war

I have only two examples of possible infidelity involving a maRried woman so this is new to me
- one was with another married man
- one with a single guy

There may be more because the ladies termed runz babes may actually be married

I am here to learn also

Funny that these group will look down on and harrass single women, single mothers and divorces, they have the flashiest wedding rings, "happy family pictures" everywhere but underneath the surface:--------

That's most monopolized , misrepresented whopper generalized statement I've ever heard ..... but I do know something for sure , women are their own worst enemy.

@Topic , we've seen numerous typical stories here and it's nothing new.

Some women prefer to stay put and 'Endure' their cheating spouses => either for societal status and mostly because of the children hence a very tongue tied situation,
most kids from broken homes thrive and get over the 'breakup' easily and some don't get over the trauma hence a rebellious child, who wants to deal with that (broken child) for real?

Some also stay for their own selfish reasons ( Lazy bums)

Some also have a mindset of where they draw the line( divorce) => I mean as long as he's not physically abusive and provides for them and their children, they're okay .

As for the 'do me I do you' demeanour , well , she already said it, it keeps her 'sane' ( I don't believe that tho) ,

Is it common among Nigerian women? Nobody can tell but hearsay to prove a point here.

To each and his owns. ish!

Tgirl4real: I would rather take a walk than let hubby turn me into what I am not.

If the woman searches herself deeply, she isn't happy. Deep down, she is hurting and unhappy. Just as Debrief said, they all live a pretensious life. They pretend to be happy and even people use them as examples, not knowing the marriage is long gone.

Exactly how many men will she sleep with before she gets the true happiness she craves?

I'll rather take a walk if I can't bear it.

Oh really? Wonders!!

What's love gotta do with it? I thought marriage isn't all bout love and people stay married for different reasons.

AIYE.

jidegirl12: To each and his owns. ish!

ish...
LMAO..

Tgirl4real: I would rather take a walk than let hubby turn me into what I am not.

If the woman searches herself deeply, she isn't happy Deep down, she is hurting and unhappy. Just as Debrief said, they all live a pretensious life. They pretend to be happy and even people use them as examples, not knowing the marriage is long gone.

Exactly how many men will she sleep with before she gets the true happiness she craves?

I'll rather take a walk if I can't bear it.

if the woman searches herself deeply, she's a slut!

I'm sorry but am I supposed to be mad at this woman?


*brb*

ileobatojo: I'm sorry but am I supposed to be mad at this woman?
*brb*

be nice to her.....
after all, she's a woman and her husband pushed her into infidelity. she's blameless 100%. women are never guilty, men push them to do horrible stuff.

slimyem: "I'll rather take a walk"-so easy to type/say.

Lol.

I know it's not easy, but for me, I'll rather take a walk than result to such.

The saying that 2 wrongs don't make it right remains and it will forever be so. A woman who uses her husbands infidelity as an excuse to cheat is definitely maad and a jezebel,she is no difference from a sex hawker and should not be called a virtuous woman. What example will she b laying for her kids and those looking up to her,how the hell will she open her mouth to explain it that she is cheating on her hubby cause he is doing same She has always been a cheat from the beginning and will forever be,she was only waiting for a string to hold on to,a string that would give her eternal SHAME to womanhood. Such woman is as dirty as a p.I.g and has no dignity whatsoever. The act is wrong and will forever be wrong!! Gaskia

ileobatojo: I'm sorry but am I supposed to be mad at this woman?


*brb*

Yes.she is a slut and her husband,blameless.Remember..men are polygamous in nature so its acceptable

Tgirl4real:

Lol.

I know it's not easy, but for me, I'll rather take a walk than result to such.

GBAM!!!

Tgirl4real:

Lol.

I know it's not easy, but for me, I'll rather take a walk than result to such.

Oh well..
I was just saying.

jidegirl12:

Oh really? Wonders!!

What's love gotta do with it? I thought marriage isn't all bout love and people stay married for different reasons.

AIYE.

U should be in a better position to answer urself as the wise married woman that u are. But of course, try to read what the thread is about first. And while u are at it, pls don't insult me, cos that, I won't take.

Trouble maker!!!

slimyem: Yes.she is a slut and her husband,blameless.Remember..men are polygamous in nature so its acceptable

This should be sacarsm, but if I wanna take it otherwise... Men being polygamous in nature doesn't justify him sleeping with every thing in skirt. Haba! Make he pity the life of his wife and kids if he doesn't care about his own.

taryour: The saying that 2 wrongs don't make it right remains and it will forever be so. A woman who uses her husbands infidelity as an excuse to cheat is definitely maad and a jezebel,she is no difference from a sex hawker and should not be called a virtuous woman. What example will she b laying for her kids and those looking up to her,how the hell will she open her mouth to explain it that she is cheating on her hubby cause he is doing same She has always been a cheat from the beginning and will forever be,she was only waiting for a string to hold on to,a string that would give her eternal SHAME to womanhood. Such woman is as dirty as a p.I.g and has no dignity whatsoever. The act is wrong and will forever be wrong!! Gaskia

may you be blessed!

when you feel like cheating, then it is about time you leave that marriage.

Tgirl4real:


This should be sacarsm, but if I wanna take it otherwise... Men being polygamous in nature doesn't justify him sleeping with every thing in skirt. Haba! Make he pity the life of his wife and kids if he doesn't care about his own.

Don't take it otherwise.It is what it is.I'd rather remain indifferent than judge her because i haven't walked in her shoes.
I bet she'd have been thrown out,disgraced and probably accused of plotting to kill her husband(the famed line used on cheating wives) if she was the one who cheated first.

People have their reasons for remaining in their relationships and marriages and if the paths they choose to walk through makes them sleep at night,then fine.Not anyone's business.The world can't get any crazier

Tgirl4real:

U should be in a better position to answer urself as the wise married woman that u are. But of course, try to read what the thread is about first. And while u are at it, pls don't insult me, cos that, I won't take.

Trouble maker!!!

o dun o fe kè

Nah you're the flummoxed most intelligent married woman that made the 'funny' statement I quoted and I guess you should solve the puzzle yourself. I'm 'A' okay right here. *buffers my rock*

ish!

Omashe Ooº°˚ ˚°ºo...smh... You wil gt infected wt HIV and STD and dt amalinze †ђξ cat you call a husband wl wil be alive †̥☺ burry you and move in his nxt GF.
You are dfinatly nt happy,you are jst trying †̥☺ create an illusion of d happiness dt you so desperately want but you lack.
All ℓ̊ av †̥☺ say is ds, you are cheating on your hubby cos you feel dts d modernized womans way 4wd (smh4u) you sound educated buh you jst bhaved lyk a fool (wt due respect)...a man startd cheatg on you jst months after your wedding and you went ahead †̥☺ av 4kids 4 him...why Where you tinking d more you av, d more he wl L♥√ع you or wt? Now as a result of your stupidity you cannot lve d man cos yyou knw you cnt cater for your kids....if you were an independent strong black woman, you wldnt b afraid †̥☺ lve d shame you call marriage and move on with your lyf... Posterity wl speak for you sumday...
†ђξ day your husband gts †̥☺ find out,he wl throw you out lyk a piece of rag and turn everytin on you and sadly every1 wl blve him cos he Ȋ̝̊̅§ d 'MAN' so you wl always be branded as a woman who cheated on her hubby. And dt 'single' you dnt wnt †̥☺ be,you wl eventually bcum evn worse...den let me see ow you wl av custody of your children..Pple wl talk and point their hands at you and vry sadly dts wt your hubbys family wl feed your children with when dey grow up, knwing dt their son (hubby) was as much d fault as you. Its unfortunate ds Ȋ̝̊̅§ naija...
Instead of you †̥☺ b seeking out ways †̥☺ lve him,start tinking of systematic ways †̥☺ make ursef independent so dt wn d time cums it wl b easy †̥☺ lve....it myt take time buh av a stash of money sumwhere. D day you move let it b lyk a shock †̥☺ him evn if you av †̥☺ sell sum of his property †̥☺ make d move by al means pls do so, afterall dts as much a sin as you opening your legs †̥☺ every tom,dick and harry....
May God help you...

slimyem: Yes.she is a slut and her husband,blameless.Remember..men are polygamous in nature so its acceptable

Imagine the hypocrisy. The man has slept with more girlfriends than she has changed her weaves yet she is the one getting called names.

I wonder who made woman the sole moral compass in a relationship. So the man is free to be as immoral as possible but the woman must remain pure and holy under any circumstance. She is not a human being too right? The man is made of flesh and blood while she is a tin robot not so?


This is a marriage that is now one purely in name. The husband is unrepentant and has said she is free to leave anytime meaning he doesn't care whether he's married to her or not. Why he can't grow some balls and just kick her out I don't know. Whatever his reasons which he has a right to, she also has a right to her own reasons for deciding to stay married to him. If anything, that's what we should be discussing, how society and the presence of children make women stay in dead marriages.

Shebi the man is the head of the home? So his subject is now following his lead shikena! Next time he should lead by better example.

Is she wrong, yes. Would I do the same? Probably not. I think a clean break would be best too. But will I judge her like some dumb sheep following some useless two faced culture? Hell no!!

If she feels like she has the liver to do it and she feels she has romantic needs that she will never obtain from her husband and doesn't want to live the remaining 40 something years of her married life sad, depressed, lonely and yearning for something better, if her own conscience doesn't judge her for her course of action then who am I to judge her?

Far as I can see,she tried to fix things with the hubby but since he refused, she has chosen an option that works for her. There is no law that says the woman must remain the moral compass of a marriage in the face of all manners of sh*it!! Until there is equal condemnation for both people's actions in our society then I say kudos to her!!