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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / How Nigerian Are You? (762 Views)
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How Nigerian Are You? by Trevelyan(m): 8:14am On Apr 17, 2008 |
you know you are a Nigerian if, -one of your antecedents have never sacrificed their life for you to have a better tomorrow -you consider yourself a consenting adult at the age of 10 -you are most likely to smoke under the scorching burn of the African midday sun -your expelled gas of flatulence is enough to eliminate an outnumbering opposition -all your misfortunes are thought to be the handwork of the devil -the first time you visited the public pool, there was no space for you -you have ever used charcoal as a paste because it was more economical at the moment -your family almost cooked the aquarium fishes as a result of awaiting payments -your accumulated amount of the nations wealth is a major cause of your protruding stomach -you have used incense as a deodorant because you wanted to wear a new look -the kids called you a dalmatian on your way to work because you wore white on a rainy day -you are astounded by everything state of the art -hardship and social exclusion made you what you are today -you have a strong urge to take some money from the offering bag while passed around in church -you have ever used the kitchen sifter as a shower facility because you wanted to feel among -a numerous amount of eyes are peeping through the window because you bought a T.V set -white foreigners are the most fragile items that seem to have a life -you used the pressing iron to toast a bread because of you cannot handle the toasting machine -your national football coach is always culpable after a defeat from the opposing side -you were alone in the dressing room looking at the mirror but wondering if "black is beautiful" -the last time you dined with a relative, you used a longer spoon -using the bible to swear is a repeated nursery rhyme -you see a dollar sign hovering in your dream anytime you use the internet -your neighbor dials the fire service whenever you bleach your cooking oil -the government increases its national budget because you have a growing family -people die of suffocation from carbon poisoning anytime you drive your car -you have a tendency to drink even more when you have a failing health -the government never had a second thought before you were executed in a foreign country -the only prayer you have in life reads "OH Lord!, Please, let my enemies die before me" -the police arrives seven minutes after the robbers attacked your residence -the neighbors never welcome you because they are preparing a food for lunch -denial at the spot when caught red handed is allowed -you heard three gunshots from a firing round of twelve on armed forces remembrance day -the national anthem of the country has been remixed to make the people dance -you call yourself a member of the church whenever its harvest time -you never killed a soul but you claim you went to war -the environment was sanitized the day you emptied your kitchen waste -nothing edible was found by the dogs in your dustbin, |
Re: How Nigerian Are You? by acidrop(f): 8:19am On Apr 17, 2008 |
lol, 4nny |
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