May11:

Yesterday was the worst day of my life but then it started as a beautiful one.

I woke up from my drugged slumber at 08:00 sharp. It was a kind of achievement anyway knowing i could wake up as late as 12am.

My hair was scattered in different directions like leaves teased by a mischievious wind. I jumped down from my up-bunk, cast a lazy eyes at the room's occupant before grabbing my bucket that was filled with water belonging to one of my roomies.


Don't blame me joor, don't they have a bucket? Eh, since they chose to use mine without permission, the water belongs to me according to Act..... Em.. Em.... Of ownership and borrowership

Oh, forget it! I had a nice bath and walked back to my room only to meet my brief(no offense meant) dark skinned friend/coursemate awaiting my return.

''So you're just having your bathe?'', she asked annoyingly.

Is it not obvious that i had a bathe? Why else would the naughty remnant of the bathe water be dripping from my body?

I smiled at her and said,

''Jamb Question''.

We both laughed. It reminded us of silly questions people ask like,

''Are you cooking?(when they see you washing the uncooked rice and opening a can of tomato and you are like, 'No am eating''. :p )

or ''Are you crying?''(when tears are racing down your cheeks and you are like, ''No, am laughing, *Yinmu''. :p

I was bullied into cooking indomie for her and my elder sis who was squatting with me.

Well, as I'll always say, it ain't my fault. When I cook Indomie for myself, it ends up so delicious that my sisters would turn to beggars and voice out loud the thoughts of killing me and having my noodles to themselves.

Boy, I sure felt like the Joseph who was being plotted against by his brethren.

So as I was saying, I cooked for three and ended up with Indomie tasty pap. I still don't understand why it always happen when I cook on a large scale anyway.

I glared at Lara my friend when I gave her her portion of the Indomie Instant tasty Pap. The glaring was a warning that if she said good or bad, she would be in for it.


She ate her food quickly and silently and I chuckled to myself. Afterall, they forced me to cook,

"trouble siddon e own, yanga come wake am, e go accept wetin e see".
:p :p .

Okay, after our miserable meal, we set out for class....

Our Poetry Lecturer Mr Ali, the most controversial being I've ever known, finally strolled into the class after what seemed like an eternity.

He hid his terrible K-leg behind the pulpit(eh, podium). Whenever I see him, my curiousity would soar to the next level.

He was a Yoruba man and a Muslim or that is what we thought he was. He would insult Imams, Alfas, Pastors, Distort ideas of heaven and Hell, call everyone including himself an idiot.

I discarded the idea of him being an aetheist because he told us that he isn't one. Who and what is this man? I often wondered. He was so confusing a person.

Then when he felt like it, he would praise Christianity n Islam and then denounce them, few minutes after. the society wasn't spared either.

Away from that, he started his intellectual rambling and rants which I so much enjoy. Then, he dropped the bombshell.

He moved closer to the front rows, hiding his bad leg behind the good one. I used to think it was a kind of swag posture till I noticed that he had a bad leg.

''Check your results in the Faculty of Art after this class. Many of you did so poorly, the worst is a female idiot who got an 'F' throughout. 'She made all her lecturers go through strenous effort when marking her script, May God punish her and all those that helped her get admission into this great and prestigious Univerity'', he finished.


I shuddered and stole a glance at Amaka my Ex-friend. I guess she was the one and I guessed right.

Trust me, I waited for the notice board where our results were pasted to be empty of both the joyous souls and the mourners (those who failed) before going there with Lara to check our results.

We took a deep breathe. I was kind of shaken and scared of seeing what I didn't expect..

Then my gaze shifted down to where my name enlarged before my eyes. I touched my eyes to be sure I didn't put on a magnifying glass.

''B, E, E, A, C, D , E" ....... N so on.

I swallowed and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. Lara's result was fine. She tried cheering me up but I was silent...

''I've worked so hard for this result. I did overnight reading for two weeks and was almost looking like a lizard. If you and my other friends and acquaintances hadn't understood the stress we were all going through, they would have thought I had a disease. I was drying up because of the stress, almost dead'', I said to Lara in tears.

''Don't feel bad, we still have seven more semesters to go, seven more semesters for you to make your mark in our department and school'', Lara encouraged.

She sure is a good friend ain't she? Well, I did stick with her when she was in such a rotten mood and even told me she hates me.
she was only returning the favour. It's so funny as I think of it now. Lara stole a suspicious glance at me when I said I wanted to go to the school's Lagoon front to cry my eyes out.


I guess the thought of me jumping into the Lagoon was poking her brain. She told me that she would follow me. Well dear Diary, I didn't drown myself but I made Lara and Ted who later joined us so miserable that at a point, I thought they would both cry.

It sure feels good to have friends.

Well, finally I've gotten over the shock of my result and now am facing the shock of the indomie I cooked which tastes like sphagetti and vegetables. Lets look back into the past.


March 3, 2013:


It's a lovely Tuesday morning and I woke up with something hiding in the corner of my mind. No, it was my conscience disturbing my thoughts.

Silly conscience, can't it ever take a break? I'm sitting on my bed, rubbing my eyes till it begs. What is it that I need to remember? I just can't place the feeling.


Ahha! I didn't charge my Nokia Asha 210 battery. I poked my phone and a red bar stared accusingly at me.

''Thou miserable wretch'', I say to myself.

Now, there must be a good reason for this.


1. My charger is bad, spoilt by my bunkie who refuses to get hers.

2. Everyone was charging their phone so, no space for mine.

3. No free charger available.


Whatever! So midly angry. So what am I going to do Diary dear? yes, I'll write.

My lazy eyes settles on my roomies in the opposite bunk who are getting dressed. Let me give you a picture of my room.


It's an 8 man room or that's what the builders thought it was. But now, I wonder if my room is a students' barrack.
We have six legitimate squatters and 8 visitors that spend the night with us.

So now, I watch some of my roomies who are busy with their laptops, glancing at their note, chatting or just staring at earth's inhabitants. Not my idea of fun anyway.

Well, finally i've gotten over the shock of my result and now am facing the shock of the indomie i cooked which taste like macroni and vegetables. Lets look back into the past.
March 3, 2013:
It's a lovely Tuesday and i woke up with something hiding in the corner of my mind. No, it was my conscience poking my thoughts. Silly conscience, can't it ever take a break? Am sitting on my bed, rubbing my eyes till it begged. What is it that i need to remember? I just can't place the feeling. Ahha! I didn't charge my Nokia Asha 210 battery. I poked my phone and a red bar stared accusingly at me. ''Thou miserable wretch'', i said to myself. Now, there must be a good reason for this.
1. My charger is bad, spoilt by my bunkie who refuses to get hers.
2. Everyone was charging their phone so, no space for mine.
3. No free charger available.
Whatever! So midly angry. So what am i going to do Diary dear? yes, i'll write. My lazy eyes settles on my roomies in the opposite bunk who are getting dressed. Let me give you a picture of my room. It's an 8 man room or that's what the builders thought it was. But now, i wonder if my room is a student barrack. We have six legitimate squatters and 8 visitors that spend the night with us. So now, i watch some of my roomies who are busy with their laptops, glancing at their note, chatting or just staring at earth's inhabitants. Not my idea of fun anyway.

I just feel like screaming at every one, hijacking a Nokia Charger at Biro point and telling everyone, ''Scram!'' sick huh?

Well, if wishes were indeed horses, dead men would wish the flies off their bodies. Think what a horse tail would do?

Did I mention it to you that my Exams begin today? Naah, I don't think so.

Okay Diary, listen, today is my GST 105(Use of English) exam.


Now, back to my idle observations. Silly discussions keep caressing my ears.

One lousy dark-skinned roomie named Ruth with her sly thin friend can't keep the hole below their nostrils shut.

Seriously, why would they name her after the famous Ruth when she is the exact opposite of her? What happened to the idea that a person's name influences that person? Oops!

I guess names don't give a damn about influencing people anymore. It ain't worth the bother.

So back to the tale, Darkie wears a plain white blouse and a green jacket on top in order to match the dark green trousers.


''How do i look?'', she asks Fair lousy Chioma.

''You look like a monkey'', Chioma said breathlessly.

Ruth looks hurt then retorts,

''You're a Ram! I don't even need your compliment, I look nice''.


Well, if you don't compliment yourself, who will(bless your buttons Dettol).

Well, you wouldn't mind me commenting on her dressing would ya?

To be frank, she does looks like yesterday's leftovers, bless her heart

Not that the colour blocking was off point but she is the type colours react to. Pardon me, am not trying to be mean, I do have a kind heart

Hmmmh, nothing interesting to write about. So I may drop the pen but before I do Diary dear, I would like an honest advice for the question am about to ask.

Should I have my bathe or not? I feel itchy all over my body but my legs keep digging deeper into my not so soft bed.

Probably, they imagined it's a deep rug or sofa. Duh! Am off.....

Hurray! The exam is cancelled.

March 3, 2012:

I've had a fill of sleep Well, my eyes are still heavy but I know that if I go back in bed, even nature would be mad at me.

So, I finally kick the wrapper of my body. I'm not rubbing my eyes this time, mind you. I'm getting up like a good girl, going to have my bathe......

Can you imagine, no water! I had to go downstairs, wait for an hour before I could fetch a bucket of water.

So I half dragged or worse still, it dragged me upstairs.

You should have seen me pant. Hahahahaha! No dog can match me in that

Finally, I had my bathe in the over-hyped bathroom...

* * * * * *
Sweet Diary, I can't believe that I didn't give you a description of my hostel.

Well, it is called "Madama Kobo Hall".

It is the center of extremely razz girls forming Behind, runs girls whose BFs are most musicians.

Last time I checked, it is an 8 man room. But then, we have seven squatters, five floaters that come whenever they are going out to a party with my bed clique(The girl whose bunk is directly beside mine).

So, I have no idea how many we really are. The most annoying thing is that the floaters claim right more than we the Legis...


Back to me story. We have neat toilets and bathrooms but the floors have constant running nose. We bathe in flood.

The provision store has enough stock that could feed the whole school for a year.

Goods ranging from breverages to hair accesories, carpenters and weilders tools, stationary, hair accessories and even cosmetics..

Moved to literature.

Tgirl4real:
Moved to literature.

But y?