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Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! - Family - Nairaland

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Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by sunshine82(f): 3:52pm On May 18, 2013
Am a young woman in my mid 30s I lost my husband 6yrs ago,leaving me with 3 kids to cater for all alone. I mett and fell in love wt another man though he is married wt 2 kids. The issue is off recent we've been having problems I can't xplain aw it happens, he blames me and I blame him too bt its getting me worried, I have luvd him for over 3yrs, hav not cheated on him, hav been very devoted to my relationship. My problem is he suspects my every move, calls, associations, and friends.things hav nt been too okay wt him finacially, bt I still do not complain, all I want is for him to trust me,
I don't understand why he's so jealouse. Pls advice!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Afam4eva(m): 3:58pm On May 18, 2013
Chineke kpo kwa gi oku there...you're dating a married man and instead od asking whether it's right or wrong, you're asking us why he's jealous suspicicous of you. Have you got no shame?

1 Like

Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 4:08pm On May 18, 2013
i believe the lady is joking.... but this saga promises to be swell

But if you are serious no woman will tolerate sharing her man even you if the roles were reversed

Cut off the relationship pronto except you are sure the first wife has no problem and instead of adultery do a polygamic thing... undecided undecided


Alternatively go find ya own man for front tongue


shikena
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by funnyx(m): 4:15pm On May 18, 2013
No! You're not on the right track.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by kaboninc(m): 4:25pm On May 18, 2013
Afam4eva: Chineke kpo kwa gi oku there...you're dating a married man and instead od asking whether it's right or wrong, you're asking us why he's jealous suspicicous of you. Have you got no shame?

I believe Tgirl4real is seeing this! A mod breaking a rule!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by libertyfather(m): 4:31pm On May 18, 2013
Dunt mind anyone here like they dunt read ur post very well u gat 3 kids and ur husby is late what did they expect u do...ur on point and about the jealouse guy na love no mind am
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by 299: 4:44pm On May 18, 2013
Women are really their own worst enemies!!!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 5:05pm On May 18, 2013
smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by jmoore(m): 6:03pm On May 18, 2013
@op, the man's wife is in the best position to give you the advice you need. Go and ask her. smh
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 6:09pm On May 18, 2013
jmoore: @op, the man's wife is in the best position to give you the advice you need. Go and ask her. smh

Please carry acid proof mask before you go

Lolz
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by sunshine82(f): 8:44am On May 21, 2013
libertyfather: Dunt mind anyone here like they dunt read ur post very well u gat 3 kids and ur husby is
late what did they expect u do...ur on point and about the jealouse guy na love no mind am
thanks @libertyfather. I think u're d only one who took time to read. Nigerians are so biaz and so in sensitive. Bc he's married he shouldn't luv another wman and be happy? Whether we chose to see it or not 99 percent of married men indulge in ds act, reasons best known to them. If my man is married and am equally married to him I don't care! So far he loves and care for me and I luv him crazy! I mean crazy! So u pretenders try and remove d log in ur eye before tryn to do same to another.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by slimyem: 8:54am On May 21, 2013
sunshine82:
thanks @libertyfather. I think u're d only one who took time to read. Nigerians are so biaz and so in sensitive. Bc he's married he shouldn't luv another wman and be happy? Whether we chose to see it or not 99 percent of married men indulge in ds act, reasons best known to them. If my man is married and am equally married to him I don't care! So far he loves and care for me and I luv him crazy! I mean crazy! So u pretenders try and remove d log in ur eye before tryn to do same to another.
Well done!!
Infact,clap for yourself!!don't forget to take this advice btw..
jmoore: @op, the man's wife is in the best position to give you the advice you need. Go and ask her. smh
May the sun keep shinning on and around you.wink
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 9:13am On May 21, 2013
Good!

The question I would ask you inall honesty, if it were you in the other lady's shoes, will you allow ur husband to have a second wife

answer honestly undecided

sunshine82:
thanks @libertyfather. I think u're d only one who took time to read. Nigerians are so biaz and so in sensitive. Bc he's married he shouldn't luv another wman and be happy? Whether we chose to see it or not 99 percent of married men indulge in ds act, reasons best known to them. If my man is married and am equally married to him I don't care! So far he loves and care for me and I luv him crazy! I mean crazy! So u pretenders try and remove d log in ur eye before tryn to do same to another.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Geomac: 9:16am On May 21, 2013
kaboninc:

I believe Tgirl4real is seeing this! A mod breaking a rule!

He did not break any rule.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by coogar: 9:41am On May 21, 2013
sunshine82: Am a young woman in my mid 30s I lost my husband 6yrs ago,leaving me with 3 kids to cater for all alone. I mett and fell in love wt another man though he is married wt 2 kids. The issue is off recent we've been having problems I can't xplain aw it happens, he blames me and I blame him too bt its getting me worried, I have luvd him for over 3yrs, hav not cheated on him, hav been very devoted to my relationship. My problem is he suspects my every move, calls, associations, and friends.things hav nt been too okay wt him finacially, bt I still do not complain, all I want is for him to trust me,
I don't understand why he's so jealouse. Pls advice!

he doesn't trust you probably because you act shady around him. stop focusing on what you cannot control. you cannot control what this man feels about you....so i urge you to concentrate on the things you can control!

you can control your actions and your thoughts. act in loving ways toward yourself and toward him. as you radiate love and joy, it’ll be hard for anyone not to feel attracted to you....

good luck!

1 Like

Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 9:56am On May 21, 2013
Coogar just to confirm we are on the same page - she is referring to a married man


coogar:

he doesn't trust you probably because you act shady around him. stop focusing on what you cannot control. you cannot control what this man feels about you....so i urge you to concentrate on the things you can control!

you can control your actions and your thoughts. act in loving ways toward yourself and toward him. as you radiate love and joy, it’ll be hard for anyone not to feel attracted to you....

good luck!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 9:59am On May 21, 2013
sunshine82: Am a young woman in my mid 30s I lost my husband 6yrs ago,leaving me with 3 kids to cater for all alone. I mett and fell in love wt another man though he is married wt 2 kids. The issue is off recent we've been having problems I can't xplain aw it happens, he blames me and I blame him too bt its getting me worried, I have luvd him for over 3yrs, hav not cheated on him, hav been very devoted to my relationship. My problem is he suspects my every move, calls, associations, and friends.things hav nt been too okay wt him finacially, bt I still do not complain, all I want is for him to trust me,
I don't understand why he's so jealouse. Pls advice!

Is this for real undecided

Losing your husband doesn't give you the right to steal another woman's!

You better repent and go ask God for forgiveness . . . angry angry
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by coogar: 10:01am On May 21, 2013
biolabee: Coogar just to confirm we are on the same page - she is referring to a married man

if single men won't date her she should then kill herself? we have come to the conclusion that women are their own greatest enemies so whether her man is married or not is purely an academic point!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 10:18am On May 21, 2013
Ok.. Just wanted to know we all saw that
The man could potentially have the best of both worlds as he has a new punny that would be loyal and if she is empowered would not be a drag on his resources too much

The only problem is the senior wife

How will she take it
Also how will this woman have reacted if the situation were reversed

This arrangement has to be tidy for all parties to make the best of a bad situation

@uju

Is the man stolen here or the man allowed himself to be stolen

coogar:

if single men won't date her she should then kill herself? we have come to the conclusion that women are their own greatest enemies so whether her man is married or not is purely an academic point!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by coogar: 10:26am On May 21, 2013
biolabee: Ok.. Just wanted to know we all saw that
The man could potentially have the best of both worlds as he has a new punny that would be loyal and if she is empowered would not be a drag on his resources too much

the man is an opportunist - he knows very well the choices of a widow with kids are extremely limited and he's taking advantage of that!


The only problem is the senior wife
How will she take it
Also how will this woman have reacted if the situation were reversed

one man's success is another man's failure. the same day you received your letter of appointment, several people got their letter that their interview wasn't a success.

while you were popping champagne, they were gnashing their teeth! senior wife would definitely go crazy when she learns her hubby is chopping a widow grin
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 10:35am On May 21, 2013
coogar:

the man is an opportunist - he knows very well the choices of a widow with kids are extremely limited and he's taking advantage of that!



one man's success is another man's failure. the same day you received your letter of appointment, several people got their letter that their interview wasn't a success.

while you were popping champagne, they were gnashing their teeth! senior wife would definitely go crazy when she learns her hubby is chopping a widow grin

hmmm.... he is a cougar cheesy grin pouncing and his prayerprey has been answered
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 11:34am On May 21, 2013
sunshine82: Am a young woman in my mid 30s I lost my husband 6yrs ago,leaving me with 3 kids to cater for all alone. I mett and fell in love wt another man though he is married wt 2 kids. The issue is off recent we've been having problems I can't xplain aw it happens, he blames me and I blame him too bt its getting me worried, I have luvd him for over 3yrs, hav not cheated on him, hav been very devoted to my relationship. My problem is he suspects my every move, calls, associations, and friends.things hav nt been too okay wt him finacially, bt I still do not complain, all I want is for him to trust me,
I don't understand why he's so jealouse. Pls advice!
How culd u love a married man with kids? undecided
Are there no divorces or widowers ard?
Remember u r trying to break a home. Wuld u allow ds to happen to you if ur husband were still alive?
Aint you planning to remarry?
You were even bragging dat he man culd love another woman when he is definitely married.
He maybe done with you. You can also look at it dat way.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by kaboninc(m): 11:35am On May 21, 2013
Geomac:

He did not break any rule.

I believe you know the rules. If you don't, its always there when you want to comment. And when you see it, scroll to Rule #3
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 11:46am On May 21, 2013
Afam4eva: Chineke kpo kwa gi oku there...you're dating a married man and instead od asking whether it's right or wrong, you're asking us why he's jealous suspicicous of you. Have you got no shame?
Oh Jehovah!chineke kpokwa go oku there! Tears r just rolling down from my eyes!
Walai,this pple can give one e-HBP!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 12:12pm On May 21, 2013
The question is what do you want from this married man.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Double27: 12:39pm On May 21, 2013
sunshine82:
thanks @libertyfather. I think u're d only one who took time to read. Nigerians are so biaz and so in sensitive. Bc he's married he shouldn't luv another wman and be happy? Whether we chose to see it or not 99 percent of married men indulge in ds act, reasons best known to them. If my man is married and am equally married to him I don't care! So far he loves and care for me and I luv him crazy! I mean crazy! So u pretenders try and remove d log in ur eye before tryn to do same to another.
My dear wot you are doing is wrong. Breaking a family.
For the fact that everybody does a particular thing does not make it right. Stop it pls.
Let me ask you for how long will you be with him?
Nne look for rightful way to enjoy yourself. this one no follow.
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by coogar: 12:43pm On May 21, 2013
andromida: The question is what do you want from this married man.

sex and companionship!
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by r231(m): 1:25pm On May 21, 2013
coogar:

sex and companionship!

SIMPLE grin grin grin
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by biolabee(m): 1:37pm On May 21, 2013
Double27: My dear wot you are doing is wrong. Breaking a family.
For the fact that everybody does a particular thing does not make it right. Stop it pls.
Let me ask you for how long will you be with him?
Nne look for rightful way to enjoy yourself. this one no follow.
This will be true if that is her ulterior motive.. OP what is your mission
Is it just s3x and companionship or this is stage one in a series of actions
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 1:42pm On May 21, 2013
When I read your post, I wanted to go ballistic on u, but then, I don't have any right to judge u. So. . .

Have u thought that his suspicious behaviour might be because he feels that for u to be very comfortable dating him (married man), u may also be dating other men alongside? Most married men that cheat end up not trusting their mistresses afterall, whatever he gives you, and even more, can be gotten from other men (Sex, companionship, money etc).

By the way, what is the next step now? Remain his mistress forever? Become his second wife? Look for a way to get the other woman "out of the way"? I'm asking all this so u think deeply about what u want from this relationship.

Honestly, I understand that as a widow with 3 children, your options are very well limited. Heck, even some single ladies (without baggage) that have everything working for them are still husband-hunting. So, I don't want to judge u cos I don't know what u have been through. But u should think carefully about what you are doing. Is dating a married man the way to go? What about divorcees, widowers. . .

However, if u decide to go the second wife route, remember the cane used to beat the first wife is usually preserved for the second one.

U said the man deserves to be happy. . . Will having a mistress make him happy? What makes u think he is happy being with you? If he is so happy, how come he's all suspicious of your activities and acting up? What happened to making his marriage work? What happened to divorce as the last resort?
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 1:46pm On May 21, 2013
Do you people really believe this story...... cheesy
Re: Am I On The Right Track? Pls Advise! by Nobody: 1:48pm On May 21, 2013
jennykadry: Do you people really believe this story...... cheesy

My dear, believe it or not, people with this mindset exist amongst the human race. . . cheesy

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