We all have it, yes even you do; we all got a death wish. Without even knowing it, it grows in us and we sometimes act without realizing it is the one pushing us. We behave strangely or act abnormally just for the ‘fun’ of it but really deep down it’s just a death wish. Like crossing an expressway when there is a pedestrian bridge or sitting on the railing of a balcony of a storey building.

I sometimes go crazy in my head and get this death wish; to die young. To die in a blaze of glory and eternal youth; a state of being where I know not the troubles of old age or the strain of an old mind. There is nothing as sweet as the soft, silky, smooth skin of youth and when you are at your peak. Maybe it comes from having seen too many old people battle with aging diseases. It makes me too scared of wanting to grow old into an old man, weak and frail. Don’t want to lose my youthful exuberance and become dependent on life support or another human for survival.

However, I don’t just want to die young, I want to go in a blaze of glory and fame. Having done all I want to do and perhaps even more than I could ever wish. I will forever be a believer in the saying that ‘it is not how long but how well one lives.’ Though short, I want to have achieved something tangible that will act as the legacy I left behind. I want to leave a mark so that I wouldn’t just have passed through, let the world know that I did my own and made the world a bit different.

I sometimes find it hard to understand why people shed tears for the dead, it doesn’t bring them back neither does it change the world. Too much fuss is made about death and I have one thought on this; people only death win when they cry for the dead rather than celebrate their achievements no matter how little. Why sit around and wallow in tears when we can accept the card life has dealt us and make the most of it. Remember them when they lived and had something to offer the world, the tears shed together and the joys shared. The happiness they brought and the impact they made, nothing is significant. Take not pictures of them in death but gaze upon the pictures of when they exuded vitality and life.

I find the concept of death fascinating, to realize that someday one will cease to walk the earth but go six feet under. People will talk about you, both good and bad and you will be no more to either bask in their compliments or defend yourself against criticism. I sometimes wonder what people will say when I am long gone and what legacy I would have succeeded in leaving behind. Though many will say I am too young to keep myself preoccupied with the thoughts of death, the world has come to teach me that no one is too young to die and people shouldn’t be mourned on the basis of age but how they lived. I am not afraid of death but I don’t want to die just yet; not till I do the things I want to do. Then will I sit down and fold my arms, a man content waiting for that final journey home, to a place of solace free from the world’s strife and struggle.

http://poshkidcharming./2013/06/02/twisted-dark-death-fantasy/