Akpos went to Abuja to see his uncle. He got to his uncle’s office very early by 8am
and the secretary
said he should come back by 2pm that Boss is not around. So, Akpos had to hang around till 2 pm.

By 1pm, Akpos was verrrrrry hungry. He had not eaten since morning and only had N200 in his
pocket. There was no Restaurant around the to eat swallow or rice, only big big hotels.

Akpos began to feel dizzy so he decided to find a solution. He
looked around and saw a fantastic 5 star hotel. He adjusted himself, cleaned his dusty
shoe, wiped his oily face with hanky and entered the hotel with confidence.

In d lobby, the receptionist at the
front desk said:
are u here to see somebody or
you want to lodge?
Akpos said confidently
“lodging!”.
The hotel receptionist said the cheapest room here is N47k per night.

Akpos: “no problem dis place is lovely, just like the hotel I slept at yesterday in Dubai on my way from United states.

Receptionist said “thank you sir“.

Akpos said: But can I pay in hard currency as I've not changed my dollars?

Receptionist: No problem sir

Akpos: but first, where is your restaurant I want to eat before I go up to the room.

They showed Akpos the restaurant and told
the chef to treat
him well cos he was a new customer that just came back from US!

The chef welcomed him and gave him the menu. Akpos first ordered appetiser, 2 bowls of assorted pepper soup
with a bottle of
red spanish wine. Total cost N18k.
Next for the
main meal, Akpos ordered pounded yam, efo riro with snail and catfish! - N15k.
Akpos total bill was
now N33K but Akpos only had N200.

They cleared his empty plate away and brought
the bill. Akpos began to sweat even inside cold air conditioned room. The waiter came twice to the table, Akpos waved him away
that he was still
relaxing after the heavy meal.
The staff began to suspect Akpos, that he didn’t have money, they called security
and gathered round him.
Akpos looked at all of them quietly, then he
brought out one his phones and use it to dial another one in his pocket which
was on silent.

Akpos (on the phone): Ehen, is it time? Yes na, the bomb is still with me.... not yet exploded. …In 2 minutes? Of course, no problem,
I will detonate it on time. I‘m proud to be suicide bomber, and
there are many people where I am, so the impact will be even better. Yes o.
Government will have
no choice but to listen to our cause.

...Before Akpos even dropped phone, the restaurant had cleared. As he walked out of
the restaurant,
nobody was in the lobby. Even
street sef empty!

Naija no dey carry last

FP at last