R U 4 Real? - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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Wetin U 4 Do / Surf The Internet Without Spending Any Money. I Will Teach U 4 Free / 4 Real (2) (3) (4)
| R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 11:48am On May 23, 2008 |
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Is this a trick question? ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh, I was getting laid! ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ________________________________________________ -- And the best for last: --- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Necorios(m): 2:05pm On May 23, 2008 |
nice 1, where did u copy this from? |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 3:04pm On May 23, 2008 |
@Neco, a magician does not reveal his secret  |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by danonyeka: 7:42pm On May 23, 2008 |
Nice one jeovy!!!! |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 11:00am On May 24, 2008 |
Thannnnnnnnnnnnnnks |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by bibs(f): 1:35pm On May 24, 2008 |
u r wecome |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Suntemi(m): 5:43pm On May 24, 2008 |
Really nice |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by spikelord(m): 6:14pm On May 24, 2008 |
nice one |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by krama(m): 1:02am On May 27, 2008 |
Good! |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by folly69(m): 11:19am On May 27, 2008 |
this is craaaaaaziiiilyy funny nice 1 poster |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Nobody: 11:20am On May 27, 2008 |
nice one dearie  |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 4:21pm On May 27, 2008 |
ibkaye: "Dearie" You wan put me for trouble |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by clemcykul(f): 5:29pm On May 27, 2008 |
laffs and farts |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 11:14am On May 28, 2008 |
clemcykul: Oga, stop farting here |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by clemcykul(f): 4:54pm On May 28, 2008 |
why should eye? its my birth right to fart, *farts on his head and flys out through the window* |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 6:32pm On May 28, 2008 |
clemcykul: Guess thats "What he loves doing" |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by kene20(m): 8:03pm On May 28, 2008 |
Very nice one  |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 8:59am On May 30, 2008 |
Thanks Folly,kene,clemcykul for farting,suntemi,bibs etc |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by clemcykul(f): 11:11am On May 30, 2008 |
ure welcome |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Nobody: 4:25pm On May 31, 2008 |
Almust nice |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Jeovy(m): 6:42pm On May 31, 2008 |
Almost?  |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Oracle(m): 6:58pm On May 31, 2008 |
The last is a killer. Nice work Man. Very funny |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by Nobody: 8:33pm On Jun 01, 2008 |
killer jokes the last one was wicked |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by clemcykul(f): 8:18am On Jun 02, 2008 |
my very good student webdezzi how are u? |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by annoited(m): 10:40am On Jun 02, 2008 |
Heard it several times. There is a new version now |
| Re: R U 4 Real? by folly69(m): 10:49am On Jun 02, 2008 |
ar u shitting me? |
(1) (Reply)
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