I got married to my husband in 2001. He never ever told me he has had failed marriages (neither did his family told me and we wedded legally) but there was a time an incident happened and i got to know one of his former wives but he denied there was any relationship with this woman. So i let it go. But last year 2012, a friend invited me to a party where coincidentally i meant his 1st wife who told me what i had never heard before about a man i had lived with for 12 years. I got my evidences by investigating privately and meeting the 4 children the woman had for him. They were his photocopy just like my own children. It was this woman who told me there were other 2 women + me = 4 wives. She had 4 childred, 2nd had 3 children, 3rd had 2 children while i already hv 3= 12 children. My world almost collapsed. the 3rd was the one i had met before which he denied.

I could not bear the pain & deceit. So i moved out of the house. But he came to where i moved to when i was not around and took my 1st son since February this year and to date I have not set my eyes on my boy. It is pertinent to note that he had once denied being the father of this boy. Now am bearing the pains this man has caused me.

What do i do now? I dont know where he lives and he has changed all the tel lines he uses.

I have met his family members they confirmed what they thought would be a forever secret and promised to get my son for me but up to the time am writing this nothing has been done by them. i have wasted lots of money visiting and calling them all to no avail.

Can anyone in the house help me pls.

Na wao! Don't worry, the experienced ones will be here soon.

Declare him as a missing person, go to the police station, other areas which you think he can be found, declare him as missing, he will show up and you can take up the matter from there, if need be, divorce him properly and legally, so that the issue of your children might be solved at once.
Wishing you wisdom at this crucial time.

Another thing @op, what are the issues you discussed when courting, after discovering the secrets, what are his responses and reactions. This is serious o.

TiiTee: Na wao! Don't worry, the experienced ones will be here soon.

So u think u r inexperienced?

abioduntin: I got married to my husband in 2001. He never ever told me he has had failed marriages (neither did his family told me and we wedded legally) but there was a time an incident happened and i got to know one of his former wives but he denied there was any relationship with this woman. So i let it go. But last year 2012, a friend invited me to a party where coincidentally i meant his 1st wife who told me what i had never heard before about a man i had lived with for 12 years. I got my evidences by investigating privately and meeting the 4 children the woman had for him. They were his photocopy just like my own children. It was this woman who told me there were other 2 women + me = 4 wives. She had 4 childred, 2nd had 3 children, 3rd had 2 children while i already hv 3= 12 children. My world almost collapsed. the 3rd was the one i had met before which he denied.

I could not bear the pain & deceit. So i moved out of the house. But he came to where i moved to when i was not around and took my 1st son since February this year and to date I have not set my eyes on my boy. It is pertinent to note that he had once denied being the father of this boy. Now am bearing the pains this man has caused me.

What do i do now? I dont know where he lives and he has changed all the tel lines he uses.

I have met his family members they confirmed what they thought would be a forever secret and promised to get my son for me but up to the time am writing this nothing has been done by them. i have wasted lots of money visiting and calling them all to no avail.

Can anyone in the house help me pls.

Wow!!

Sorry, but I am struggling to understand how a man could hide 3 wives and 9 children successfully from you for what? 12 years? And you never had an inkling?

His oldest children should be in their late teens / early twenties and they never visited their father? Not even for once while you were married to him??

Anyway, there isn't much you can do that would change the facts of your situation. His wives and kids won't disappear into the thin air. They're there to stay. So what you need to do is focus on building a future for your own kids.

As for your missing son, in addition to what 's suggested, get back in touch with his family. There must be someone there who knows about his whereabouts. But you must be prepared to meet a brick wall from them (again) because, if they could 'hide' his 3 wives and 9 kids successfully from you, then they really won't feel obligated to help you now either.

I need to ask you this: Is this man wealthy and influential? Has he got connections? Because if he does, then just be aware that you've got your work cut out for you.

Additionally, do you work? If you do, then better consider hiring a Private Investigator / Detective to help you track down your son. But the question here is this, even if you do find your son and take him from the father, what's to stop the dad from returning to take his son / kids from you? You need to ask yourself these questions and prepare for the inevitable, and start laying down your contingency plans. You also need to prepare yourself for going into hiding with a complete change of ID for you and your kids.

Best of luck.

Op don't just declare him missing o,also print his obituary and paste every where. When his family sees it they will know how to fetch him out,am sure they know where he is.

^^ They do. She said they promised to help her get her son back, meaning they know where their runaway son is.

But the question here is this: even if she does manage to track him down and get her son back, what stops the man from doing it all again?

I'm also curious to know why he's got 3 failed marriages. On what basis did they fail?

Efemena_xy:

Wow!!

Sorry, but I am struggling to understand how a man could hide 3 wives and 9 children successfully from you for what? 12 years? And you never had an inkling?

His oldest children should be in their late teens / early twenties and they never visited their father? Not even for once while you were married to him??

Anyway, there isn't much you can do that would change the facts of your situation. His wives and kids won't disappear into the thin air. They're there to stay. So what you need to do is focus on building a future for your own kids.

As for your missing son, in addition to what 's suggested, get back in touch with his family. There must be someone there who knows about his whereabouts. But you must be prepared to meet a brick wall from them (again) because, if they could 'hide' his 3 wives and 9 kids successfully from you, then they really won't feel obligated to help you now either.

I need to ask you this: Is this man wealthy and influential? Has he got connections? Because if he does, then just be aware that you've got your work cut out for you.

Additionally, do you work? If you do, then better consider hiring a Private Investigator / Detective to help you track down your son. But the question here is this, even if you do find your son and take him from the father, what's to stop the dad from returning to take his son / kids from you? You need to ask yourself these questions and prepare for the inevitable, and start laying down your contingency plans. You also need to prepare yourself for going into hiding with a complete change of ID for you and your kids.

Best of luck.

EFEMA THE CIA!!!

Wait I am confused

Before you married him he already had 3 marriages and 9 children?

how old was he when you married him?

Any man with that number of kids must be in like his 40's

And for 12yrs none of the wifes and kids showed up and you never heard anything nor suspicion.

Well assuming your story is true
This is kidnapping
Raise an alarm that you heard he has gone to use your son for rituals I am sure that would ginger police into action and by the time they lock some of his family up he would surface

U made a mistake leavin u shd hav stayed n secure 4 ur slf n children enough out of his wealth if he nad any

clever5680: U made a mistake leavin u shd hav stayed n secure 4 ur slf n children enough out of his wealth if he nad any

You are sooooo wicked!

You know, this also crossed my mind but didn't want to say it. For her to have married a man with 3 previous marriages and 9 wives behind his back, that man must definitely be way older than her...probably in his fifties AND wealthy. Else, what's the attraction??

dayokanu: Wait I am confused

Before you married him he already had 3 marriages and 9 children?

how old was he when you married him?

Any man with that number of kids must be in like his 40's

And for 12yrs none of the wifes and kids showed up and you never heard anything nor suspicion.

Well assuming your story is true
This is kidnapping
Raise an alarm that you heard he has gone to use your son for rituals I am sure that would ginger police into action and by the time they lock some of his family up he would surface

Why do I have a sneaky feeling that this man must be an Alahji? And a wealthy one at that??

yellowpawpaw:

EFEMA THE CIA!!!

Even so, I'm still struggling to believe the authenticity of this tale...

Poster,is it abuja marriage?
Still wondering how u r in a marriage of 12yrs w'out an inkling of his former life.
All these marriages where anybody can represent d groom and bride and in a matter of minutes,u r pronounced man and wife.

There is nothing u can do.ur son is equally his son.50.50.if not more on his side due to our culture.
Ur son is with his dad.declaring him missing won't solve it.if d father is treating him well,then chille.else the remaining ones will miss too.
I think u hv to peddle softly.when d man really c u mean no harm,he will allow u c ur son.then u will work out a schedule on how u will become part of his life again.he can visit during school vac.
The remainin will still be with u, I guess.
don't forget his dad is an integral part of him like u.u don't hv to deny any of them d right to be with their daddy.
If u want to do gra gra,I bet u,u will never set ur eyes on him again and probably others will follow.act wisely.
U may hv to visit d other ladies and learn how they hv bn handling theirs too.
Goodluck

Efemena_xy:



Even so, I'm still struggling to believe the authenticity of this tale...

Things like this happen every time,that's d sad truth
My cous married a married man and till tomoro,my family don't know. A man with 4 grown up kids!
Me,I no go open my mouth.I won't tell.I didn't c.she told me she knew after wedding,during her FIL's burial.she hid it very well cos our pple will bundle her home.
Its her cross.when one don't do proper investigation b4 jumping in,what do u expect.things like this.

@ Op! Issue one: for your Son you need to bring an application to court seeking custody aπϑ guardianship of the child, if you are in lagos there are special courts/and a special procedure for this! When its granted the Court will enforce it, ps your son will be returned to you! Pls note: if you take your husband to court it limits chances of reconciliation.
Then you may always proceed †☺ divorce the husband if you wish! Ps: moving out of the home that was built on deceit is good!
Call 08093779782, 08053779782.

@all,my post is a true life story & not cooked up. I will answer ur questions: the man is in his early 50s and he's not wealthy at all. After our marriage somebody told me he's been married wt kids but when I asked him he vehemently denied. I told my pastor and right there in d church, he denied and sworn it was not true and I was advised to believe him. He's 1st son is 25. Abt his wives & children not asking of him, dat was d 1st question I asked d woman and her children. She told me his family did not tell her where we lived.I hv never met d 2nd but I met d 3rd when ds man had a police case in 2008. When I got to d station and told d police I was d wife they told me a woman had come who claimed to be his wife too but I showed them my wedding ring and they allowed me to see him. I challenged him but he denied d woman. But I noticed that throughtout d period, d woman was always @ d station. We never talked but she's older than me. After d police case, I reported to my parent & pastor, they invited his family, held a meeting and thet all denied.but he has had 2 other police cases which this same woman also showed up.
My problem is why shd he take my son of all d children. My son is 11years. He's 2nd son is in Lagos as a conductor. He did not train any of his children. Even while we were together, I was footing my children's bills. I hv even gone to Bond fm to seek for advise on a radio programme. With that programme, I was able to get the schl he enrolled my son but when I got to the schl, they told me d father has warned them never to allow me see d boy. But they confirmed the boy was there. Allattempts I hv made has proved abortive.

I have a job.

Abi, thanks for getting back to us with your updates.

This really is sad. It's an unpleasant situation but you just have to work with what you've got. Like someone mentioned earlier, I think your best bet is to make peace with the man, your husband. See if you both can work something out amicably that ensures that the father is not denied access to his children.

I think that must have been the reason (access issues) behind his taking your oldest boy away from you. You might have to appeal to his family to get him to see where you're coming from.

I really do hope this works out for you though. All the best.