i am a married woman with a lovely kid . he is 37 while i am 29. he is not financially bouyant and will want to do what his purse cannot achieve. he is a teacher who earns less dan 30k per month (part time teacher). i adviced him to look for other jobs so dat his salary can increase but he always say he cant be going out nd beg for work at his age. he has been tryn to travel out of d country even b4 i met him. and because of dis he said he is not ready to stress himself looking for job and dat very soon, he is going to be out of dis country. i am a teacher too and my salary per month is just 12k. but i am still doing it cos of my baby. the main issue is dat whenever he raise the idea of travelling, i do advice him to look for a better job atleast if it click, he will still need money to do d processing. instead he will reign all sorts of abuses on m) nd call me enemy of progree. after dis, he stopd talkin 2me about it. d main prob now is dat i hrd he is plannin 2 travel out of d country wit a music band and hearing this is heart breaking. ive been saving up all my salary to support him with payment of house rent. pls shld i stop contributing and use my money to take care of myself and my baby or i shld continue cos i cant even aford to buy myself body cream talk less of buyin cloth for my baby. pls help

@ Op your story is touchy, first of all i'll advice you put on hold further procreation, and source for further well paying job, cos your monthly emolument is too meagre. As of your hubby since all your advice to him has fallen on deaf ears just let him be, but he should'nt be oblivious of the fact that life Abroad aint a bed of roses, speaking from experience. Wish you the best all the same.

So curious.... and he what

The suffer suffer wey hin think say he don see here .. Hin never even start

Na double double hin go see am

Holland - nationalists don yakata
Greek - them dey deport in full

UK - tories dey stop benefit and clamp on fake marriage

ZA - xenophobia reigns

US - stop and search for some states


Hin no fit beg for naija abi

He will beg wella


Tell am say no be everybody make am for abroad ooo
Poor people dey abroad, homeless too and benefits (beggars) seekers dey for obodo oyinbo

While he gets himself, do not I repeat DO NOT GET PREGNANT WITH ANODA CHILD

Try and get more earning power
Develop yourself so you earn more

Not wanting to sound naive or insensitive but do people stil seel travelling out (illegally) as a viable option in 2013?
Biola has nailed most of the cons and I cant think of any pros at the moment.

OP I know how annoying it can be esp when you have responsiblities to cater to.As biola said first of no more kids for now.Second maybe you should change tactics instead of being confrontational or sensible (believe me some men sometimes see logic or reason as not being supportive or nagging) act like you support him.Let him table out what, where, and how he intends to travel out to.At first dont criticise it, act like its a good idea.Then gradually am sure you are both quite literate, you can google the horrible effects of illegal immigration.Show him the stats on the economic issues facing the west at the mo.Even nationals of said countries are feeling the squeeze.


Also you can also google LEGAL immigration so as not to seem not supportive . Unfortunately you are very right that he has to improve himself and earnings to ever stand a chance of that.

So that my first post is not too negative to add to madam damiso,

I will now add some information for you on legal immigration

Madam OP,

You can emmigrate legally to
Canada

Australia

Move to a Montessori school and start courses on preschool teaching techniques,
This is such a big deal in the west

Also u can look at nursing but I believe this kind of move has to be a planned and joint one
Its not easy done alone by anyone as abroad can be cold n harsh

People mind their own business and forget that u think u have friends
For that side, na mostly OYO - ON YOUR OWN

Make ur hubby think am well well oooo
Or else if hin go, that is if hin reach abroad sef, nin go marry second wife to stay and u no go see am for anoda ten years

So it will be as if u are a single mother

bukydiamon: i am a married woman with a lovely kid . he is 37 while i am 29. he is not financially bouyant and will want to do what his purse cannot achieve. he is a teacher who earns less dan 30k per month (part time teacher). i adviced him to look for other jobs so dat his salary can increase but he always say he cant be going out nd beg for work at his age. he has been tryn to travel out of d country even b4 i met him. and because of dis he said he is not ready to stress himself looking for job and dat very soon, he is going to be out of dis country. i am a teacher too and my salary per month is just 12k. but i am still doing it cos of my baby. the main issue is dat whenever he raise the idea of travelling, i do advice him to look for a better job atleast if it click, he will still need money to do d processing. instead he will reign all sorts of abuses on m) nd call me enemy of progree. after dis, he stopd talkin 2me about it. d main prob now is dat i hrd he is plannin 2 travel out of d country wit a musical band. and he

What sort of teaching job pays as low as N12K per month?

What exactly do you teach?

Efemena_xy:

What sort of teaching job pays as low as N12K per month?

What exactly do you teach?

That is how much these small private schools pay o. Some even pay less. Government schools pay more but its tough to get employed in their schools due to man-no-man syndrome.

^^ That's odd. I would have thought it's the other way round.

With a combined income of less than N42K per month, it's understandable that @OP's husband wants to escape that level of hard grafting to seek greener pastures. So he does have a point sha, but there are risks associated with that move.

That advice to her to hold off on having anymore kids is spot on.

Apart from teaching, what other skills does your husband have? What are his concrete plans for survival in the country he is planning to go? How is he planning to get a job? Many questions he needs to ask himself.


I know of a fact that its almost an impossible task talking someone out of traveling abroad especially those whose hearts are made up like your husband. However, he needs to listen to international news to understand how world economy is doing these days.


Madam, to supplement what you earn, have you ever considered private lessons? Do not sit on the monthly pay, try and engage in other stuff that can bring in money no matter how small.


Let your husband understand that a man who cannot hustle to make a living in Nigeria cannot survive anywhere else. He is very lazy looking for an easy way to success.

Efemena_xy:

What sort of teaching job pays as low as N12K per month?

What exactly do you teach?

12k is even high. Most of these Private schools pay 8k. Government pays much higher.

Its not easy considering the responsibilities and the meagre income..the only country I can suggest is Qatar,but he needs to raise some money for it....he shld also know qatar is a core moslem country...its well dear