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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Federal Republic Of Comedy (3907 Views)
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Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:29am On Jul 26, 2013 |
Ok this is the Place where it happen.No other place cause any other comedy thread is a counterfeit...Na Me talk am So**dodges stone**hehehe,this is more like a cool-off-joint(Oyibo English)....You fit dey wack your Student Power(Garri) and German Stone(kwuli-Kwuli)then just top am with Classical Jokes From the F.R.C(Federal Republic of Comedy)hehehe,but una know as e go be,make e no be like say na only me dey talk to Myself,una go dey drop Some Comment,So that the thread go dey flow......Oya Bako lets go there... |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:40am On Jul 26, 2013 |
#1 Bako was being chased by two men for one of his numerous crimes. Bako ran into the forest and the men followed him. Bako got into the forest and climbed a tree. The two men got to the tree where Bako was and did not know where he ran to. Angrily, one of the men retorted: "This boy has escaped again". His colleague replied: "I know him, if I call his name thrice, he will answer me!. On hearing this Bako laughed from the tree and said to the men: "hahahahaha if u like call my name from now till next year, I will not answer u, do u think i'm the Bako of last year?. one word for Bako |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:49am On Jul 26, 2013 |
#2...ASUU PLEASE NA... it haf do na!! The 2009 ASUU strike that lasted for 109 days brought out the best and worst in d lives of many students. When students resumed, many female students came with ENGAGEMENT RINGS and PROTRUDED BELLY. After 9months, THOSE BELLIES produced names like: ASUKA, ASUBIKE, ASUFUNMI, ASULIMA, ABISASU… Now that the WEATHER is for 2[cold tinz]. Small time now we'd begin to see babies’ names like: HARMATANASUU ASUUSEYI MOJERE ASUUGBEMI ASUUTUNDE ASUUFIFEHANMI… Keep it rolling... 1 Like |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by bingbagbo(m): 3:33pm On Jul 26, 2013 |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:28am On Jul 27, 2013 |
Ok bin gbagbo I see You Sha...Bako Offer the guy German Stone |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:29am On Jul 27, 2013 |
All Of una wey dey view and no dey drop kechili inside I see una to |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:35am On Jul 27, 2013 |
#3...Bako went to USA and had a 1 on 1 meeting with Obama. OBAMA: I want to show you how much advanced we are. Come with me, (He takes him to a forest.) Dig the ground. Bako dig it. OBAMA : More….More… More! Bako went up to 100 Feet. OBAMA: So now, try to search for something. Bako : I got a Wire. OBAMA: You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. Bako became frustrated. He invited OBAMA to Nigeria. That year, OBAMA visited Nigeria. Bako : I want to show you our advancement. He takes OBAMA to a forest. Bako: Dig it... obama does. Bako: More….More… More…… OBAMA goes upto almost 400 feet. Bako :Try to find something. OBAMA tried. Bako : Did you get anything? OBAMA: No, there is nothing here. Bako: you know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to have WIRELESS mobile! 1 Like |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:56am On Jul 27, 2013 |
#4...FACTS ABT NAIJA GALS ND BREAKUPS! (1)When u dump a gal frm CALABAR she will beat u and force u to take her back lol (2)Wen u dump an ABJ babe she will cry day nd night (3)If u dump a gal frm BENIN gal she will bewitch and when u wake up in the morning your balls must have dissapearedX_X (4)Wen u dump an ENUGU gal she wil try to make it up to u nd beg u for anoda chance (5)Wen u dump a gal frm IMO(OWERRI) she won't even notice u existed hahahaha (6)Dump a WARRI gal she go drink to stupor bt go later arrange guys for you hehehe (7)Try to dump a gal frm LAGOS nd she will sleep wit all ur frends=)) (You dnt wana dump a PH chick cos the next week she go bring her wedding IV for u=D (9)Dump a galfrm KANO nd she wil report u to her dad nd you will marry her at gunpoint. (10)OK na dump an ANAMBRA gal nd she wil trick ur dad into marryn her nd becomes ur stepmum nd inherits ur dads property when he is nomore leaving u with notin hehehe 2 Likes |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 11:59am On Jul 27, 2013 |
Make una dey drop kechili(comment)to support this movement....... |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 12:27pm On Jul 28, 2013 |
#5...LOVE LETTER FROM BAKO Hello Girl, APPLECASION FOR LOVE OF YOU I want to write you this letter. Because every time I saw you opposite with my house in our area, you saw me and I also saw you and I saw you everyday. But I have watch you for a severlly times. The way your behavior is good for me, I want to take you as a good girl friend. Because you are the beautiful girl in this town and in our nationlity. So I love you like a flower. But one thing is that, I want to talk to you I love you but I can see you does not have time. That is why I shouldn't come and talk to you.Sometimes, i want to come to the house that you are siting inside on the road side but everybody is passing there that is why I am filling shamful to come there and talk to you on your face. If you think that, you cannot read and understanding this letter just call me and talk to me in a security place. After reading these letter give me the reply or the answer. I am hopefully that you will consider me your love. I am finish. Good bye. Yours everything Bako. Rate this Letter on a Scale of 0 to 10 |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by McMastiff(m): 6:42pm On Jul 28, 2013 |
U knw say e get d kind car wey u go drive...na u go dey even xplain giv pple say no be Taxi! |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by McMastiff(m): 3:03pm On Jul 30, 2013 |
Interviewer: So whats your name? Gal: My name is Rose. Interviewer: What are your other names?? Gal: Yellow cici,fine gal,obimo etc |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 7:51pm On Jul 30, 2013 |
Ok I just went on Sabatical(oyibo),....Mc Mastiff I see You,na You try pass,unlike this other viewers wey no dey drop comment, with their Nose like expired Pant...... .Oya Bako offer the Guy German Stone. |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 7:55pm On Jul 30, 2013 |
#6... Teacher:- ''what is 1+1?'' Children: ''8" Teacher: "correct" what is 2+5? Children: "14" Teacher:- "correct" Teacher:- "what is 4+6? Children:"20 Teacher:- "correct, Who is the president of nigeria? Children. Olamide Teacher. Correct, Who is the governor of anambra state? Children. Tuface Idibia Teacher. Correct! Good! It will Remain like that until government increases my salary. |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 8:34am On Aug 02, 2013 |
#7 Principal : Why Were U Absent Yesterday ? BAKO : I Attended A Burial PRINCIPAL : Hmmmm ! Bako The Lateness Specialist, nothing will Stop me from punishing U. Now Answer Me......Who Died ? BAKO : Thank you, Principal, The first son of the Cousin of my Grand Mother's youngest Nephew Who is also the Youngest Stepbrother to the Woman who gave Birth to my Uncle's Youngest Step-Son and He Was Also........... ...! PRINCIPAL : Alright.....Alr ight. ..Pls!...Thats Enough...!.. Just go to the Class! #7 Principal : Why Were U Absent Yesterday ? BAKO : I Attended A Burial PRINCIPAL : Hmmmm ! Bako The Lateness Specialist, nothing will Stop me from punishing U. Now Answer Me......Who Died ? BAKO : Thank you, Principal, The first son of the Cousin of my Grand Mother's youngest Nephew Who is also the Youngest Stepbrother to the Woman who gave Birth to my Uncle's Youngest Step-Son and He Was Also........... ...! PRINCIPAL : Alright.....Alr ight. ..Pls!...Thats Enough...!.. Just go to the Class! #7 Principal : Why Were U Absent Yesterday ? BAKO : I Attended A Burial PRINCIPAL : Hmmmm ! Bako The Lateness Specialist, nothing will Stop me from punishing U. Now Answer Me......Who Died ? BAKO : Thank you, Principal, The first son of the Cousin of my Grand Mother's youngest Nephew Who is also the Youngest Stepbrother to the Woman who gave Birth to my Uncle's Youngest Step-Son and He Was Also........... ...! PRINCIPAL : Alright.....Alr ight. ..Pls!...Thats Enough...!.. Just go to the Class! |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 8:46am On Aug 02, 2013 |
#8· A man was nearly hit by a car as he crossed the road where there is Zebra crossing. MAN: Are you MAD!!!...... Can't you see it's a zebra crossing BAKO: Fooool..... Are you a zebra?? . Who is at fault?? |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 9:13am On Aug 02, 2013 |
9..Bako: I'm coming to see you, I don't care about the petrol prices or nothing I'm coming no matter what Girl: Awwww ...Okay I'mgonna get ready baby Bako: I love you, I cant wait to see you...I'm getting ready to leave Girl: Okay but honey I'm on my period just lettingyou know. Bako: My car just blew up, I can't come to see you today again. Girl: .......... Get your friend to take you, he always does Bako: He got shot, I can't come.... I'm sorry. Girl: Oh never mind, I'm not on my period. My panties are just red hot. Bako: My friend said he's okay, he's gonna take me now. I'm coming Girl: just kidding...... I'm really on my period Bako: damn,my friend gotshot again!!........#cunny man die cunny man bury am |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 9:19am On Aug 02, 2013 |
#10 GIRL: I have told you, I can't go out with you! BAKO : Why? GIRL : Because all men are dogs . BAKO: Really? Which breed is your father? |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 9:29am On Aug 02, 2013 |
#11 Bako slept on di same bed with his girlfriend Hadizo. when he woke up in d morning, he decided 2 sing a love song for his girlfriend. When he was singing di song, his girlfriend started crying... Bako stopped and said, "Eyah!!" baby I no know say u love me like dis,cheiii. now I know say u truly love me. Hadizo replied, "Love ke?? 'it's n ot ur song that is making me cry o, "its the dust 4rm ur mouth that want to kill me.. |
Re: Federal Republic Of Comedy by EllyBrainyTM: 9:38am On Aug 02, 2013 |
#12 Teacher: who is a pharmacist? Bako raised up his hand Teacher: so it's only Bako that is the most intelligent student I have in this class? So there is no body else to answer the question except Bako? (there was no reply from the students) teacher: ok now Bako, use this cane and flog them ten strokes of cane each.... Bako: *full of happy gave all the student ten hot strokes of cane....* Teacher: ok my dear Bako, tell these dumb students who a pharmacist is... Bako: A Pharmacist is a farmer who assist people. *Teacher immediately ask all student to revenge the flogging* |
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