Hello all,
I recently met this girl and the second day she was talking marriage with me and her having my baby. She claims she had loved me from the day she sets eyes on me and am her perfect match.
She's a working class living in her father's house.

Refer to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1374631/important-things-discuss-before-marriage

@Op, how old is this lady in question?

A lot of times some ladies mistake infatuation for love!!
She barely knew you & she is already day dreaming.
If she is someone u think u can grow into, or someone u would like to get to know better, then try & slow her down so u get to know her better!!
Take time out to be each other's friend, get to know her in & out!!

N.B
Never lead her on if you don't find her fitting to your specification......just tell her subtly & let her go!!

He has eatin the forbidden fruit. Dude is confused and needs advice.

Royal Roy: @Op, how old is this lady in question?

A lot of times some ladies mistake infatuation for love!!
She barely knew you & she is already day dreaming.
If she is someone u think u can grow into, or someone u would like to get to know better, then try & slow her down so u get to know her better!!
Take time out to be each other's friend, get to know her in & out!!

N.B
Never lead her on if you don't find her fitting to your specification......just tell her subtly & let her go!!

She's 27. She do call more than 10ce in a day. Thanks for your advce.

chaircover: She has every right to talk about marriage and we can’t gag people from saying what they want to say, but it’s up to you to know what you are doing and to straightaway relay the right message across to her.

Don’t promise anything that you are not going to deliver. Infact if I were you I will tell her upfront, that you have only just met and marriage is a lifetime commitment and is not the first thing that you should even be considering right now

Tell her that it is even more in her own interest that she takes time to fully know the person that you are and not just to rely on outward appearances. Remind her that when marriages go wrong, it’s usually the woman who suffers most.

She might be right and you do both end up getting married one day, but in the meantime you must both make sure that you are doing everything possible to ensure that you are both marrying the right person for the right reasons.

I appreciate your input chaircover

Op, it happens.... She could be madly in love with you.. Simply tell subtly that u want both of you , to know each other more and see how compatible u guys are.. Without trying to look like , I want to show off, a guy met me like yesterday and he's already talking about taking me to see his mum? .....and am like , wow! Slow down....lets think here... No one is pursuing, nobody...relax and let's take it, one step at a time...so it happens... If u really see her as someone , u could marry? Then no biggie....keep on dating, but let her follow your lead.

Nigerian women get any other work?
Anything to escape poverty!
Working and living in her father's house. . . . . ?

The 'pressure' is on!

Good news. . .Times are changing.
I praise NOLLYWOOD FEMALE STARS!

jakeng: Hello all,
I recently met this girl and the second day she was talking marriage with me and her having my baby. She claims she had loved me from the day she sets eyes on me and am her perfect match.
She's a working class living in her father's house.

she considers you a future partner! you should be happy she's discussing this with you. take your chance!!!

coogar:

she considers you a future partner! you should be happy she's discussing this with you. take your chance!!!

nawa for you o.which kain advice be that.a man just met a woman recently,he hardly knows her character,temperament,weaknesses and stength,her sterotypes and ways of thinking and you are saying he should be happy and take his chance now.if he takes his chance,na people like you go dey abuse am say he just jump into marriage with eyes closed.an example is funke akindele that just ended her marriage which obviously shows they didnt know each other well enough.not to talk of in this day and age where people are so viciously angry.any small thing husband will beat wife like tomorrow no dey,wife will pour acid on husbands john thomas.abeg all this bad bad news don do,lets not encourage all this try your luck kind of relationship.emi so temi to o!

coogar:

she considers you a future partner! you should be happy she's discussing this with you. take your chance!!!

Seriously, from d bottom of my heart, I was happy about it, but another thing is am just not psychoplogically ready.
Thanks bro

mgbeketoto: Nigerian women get any other work?
Anything to escape poverty!
Working and living in her father's house. . . . . ?

The 'pressure' is on!

Good news. . .Times are changing.
I praise NOLLYWOOD FEMALE STARS!

She's not a poor girl o! Infact her father is famous!

jakeng: Hello all,
I recently met this girl and the second day she was talking marriage with me and her having my baby. She claims she had loved me from the day she sets eyes on me and am her perfect match.
She's a working class living in her father's house.

bro, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
talking babies and marriage after 2 dates, while she knows NOTHING about you (however she wants to claim that she does) is a warning sign that she is very desperate, or very clueless about what it takes to have a lasting and loving union. also, if she says that she has been stalking you (yep you heard me right STALKING) then you have to take it very easy with this babe.

solution: sit her desperate self down and ask her these simple question:
- what do you know about me as a perfect partner, since you have never dated me before?

- what do you know about what it take to have a loving and lasting union with me?

- just because i am YOUR match, doesnt mean your are MINE. i do not know you and, although i like you, i need to take it easy and get to know you properly before i can take this "r/ship" into a SERIOUS r/ship, then possibly more. as i dont have a crystal ball, i need time........., do you expect an answer from me TODAY about an important matter such as marriage and babies with you (aka a stranger)?

- do you know what i desire in a partner? (be very careful about this question as most would give you the usual answers.... aka submissive, God fearing, kind, hardworking partner etc)

then out of the blue, throw a trick question into the mix........ tell her that you expect your wife to satisfy ALL your desires in the bedroom, and since she believes you guys are a match made in heaven, ask her to tell you what these desires are (or what she is willing to do to please you in the bedroom). if she replies EVERYTHING, then you definitely have a very serious case of DESPERATION in your hands!

kulyie: nawa for you o.which kain advice be that.a man just met a woman recently,he hardly knows her character,temperament,weaknesses and stength,her sterotypes and ways of thinking and you are saying he should be happy and take his chance now.if he takes his chance,na people like you go dey abuse am say he just jump into marriage with eyes closed.

i said he should take his chance by making her a strong favourite, i did not say she should marry her tomorrow. you are the one jumping the gun. in due course, he would know all he needs to know and if her character is favourable then the wedding can proceed....

an example is funke akindele that just ended her marriage which obviously shows they didnt know each other well enough.

if funke akindele had dated him for 100 years before the marriage, the marriage would still have collapsed. she married the wrong partner - case closed!

not to talk of in this day and age where people are so viciously angry.any small thing husband will beat wife like tomorrow no dey,wife will pour acid on husbands john thomas.abeg all this bad bad news don do,lets not encourage all this try your luck kind of relationship.emi so temi to o!

whoever told you waiting for aeons before marriage guarantees a happy home lied to you. you can never know who you are marrying 100% until you marry them.

don't people pretend? you could date a man for 200 years and still not know the religion he really practises. so stop wasting your time waiting for a revelation to tell you if a man is good enough for marriage. long courtship comes with his set of problems as well......

jakeng:
Seriously, from d bottom of my heart, I was happy about it, but another thing is am just not psychoplogically ready.
Thanks bro

is she asking you to marry her next week? how old are you? how old is she?

MRbrownJAY:

bro, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
talking babies and marriage after 2 dates, while she knows NOTHING about you (however she wants to claim that she does) is a warning sign that she is very desperate, or very clueless about what it takes to have a lasting and loving union. also, if she says that she has been stalking you (yep you heard me right STALKING) then you have to take it very easy with this babe.

solution: sit her desperate self down and ask her these simple question:
- what do you know about me as a perfect partner, since you have never dated me before?

- what do you know about what it take to have a loving and lasting union with me?

- just because i am YOUR match, doesnt mean your are MINE. i do not know you and, although i like you, i need to take it easy and get to know you properly before i can take this "r/ship" into a SERIOUS r/ship, then possibly more. as i dont have a crystal ball, i need time........., do you expect an answer from me TODAY about an important matter such as marriage and babies with you (aka a stranger)?

- do you know what i desire in a partner? (be very careful about this question as most would give you the usual answers.... aka submissive, God fearing, kind, hardworking partner etc)

then out of the blue, throw a trick question into the mix........ tell her that you expect your wife to satisfy ALL your desires in the bedroom, and since she believes you guys are a match made in heaven, ask her to tell you what these desires are (or what she is willing to do to please you in the bedroom). if she replies EVERYTHING, then you definitely have a very serious case of DESPERATION in your hands!

Thanks bro, we didn't even know each other from Adam, we both met 4 days ago. She lives in the vicinity where I was supervising a building project.
When I asked her why she loves me this much and why she wanted us end up as husband and wife, she said she doesn't even know d reason why she loves me this much. She further said that not that am a terrific dresser or I drive a big car.

@ Coogar, she's 27. She wanted us to marry as soon as possible. She even told me to go greet her mother 2 days ago that she has told her lots about me.

It's too soon. She's desperate. Dump her.

Desperate women are dangerous.

coogar:

i said he should take his chance by making her a strong favourite, i did not say she should marry her tomorrow. you are the one jumping the gun. in due course, he would know all he needs to know and if her character is favourable then the wedding can proceed....



if funke akindele had dated him for 100 years before the marriage, the marriage would still have collapsed. she married the wrong partner - case closed!



whoever told you waiting for aeons before marriage guarantees a happy home lied to you. you can never know who you are marrying 100% until you marry them.

don't people pretend? you could date a man for 200 years and still not know the religion he really practises. so stop wasting your time waiting for a revelation to tell you if a man is good enough for marriage. long courtship comes with his set of problems as well......




is she asking you to marry her next week? how old are you? how old is she?

a desperate woman is dangerous to marry o.at least you people should be talking about developing friendship first

jakeng: @ Coogar, she's 27. She wanted us to marry as soon as possible. She even told me to go greet her mother 2 days ago that she has told her lots about me.

you better run for your life and dont let anyone deceive you to take your chance without knowing her.even if you like her,you should be friends with her first and develop friendship before love.kojubelo






coogar is a good political adviser but a bad relationship advicer,dont listen to him o,for your own good.ehen

jakeng:
Thanks bro, we didn't even know each other from Adam, we both met 4 days ago. She lives in the vicinity where I was supervising a building project.
When I asked her why she loves me this much and why she wanted us end up as husband and wife, she said she doesn't even know d reason why she loves me this much. She further said that not that am a terrific dresser or I drive a big car.

mr brown jay has summarised the whole thing and given you the perfect answer.if you know what is good for you RUN,AS IN RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LEG CAN CARRY YOU.a colleague of mine was jisting me about a similar tale.he said there was this girl he met a week ago at shoprite.they exchanged numbers,pleasantries and all that.the following week she called telling him about how she couldnt stop thinking about him and how she is ready to carry his baby.even if he doesnt have money to pay her bride price,she will pay.i said john (not real name) what are you waiting for,are you still standing,he said no,are you talking to your legs,he said yes,i said biko run o.you hardly know a lady,you just met and she is talking about marriage.thats a big warning sign if you dont want to turn to mumu over night before they wash punanie water inside vegetable for you to eat

Hahaha

Desperate lady indeed......at 27, probably all her younger siblings have left home!!
And why is she unattached at 27, no bf, no fiance?


I have met a lady who on our second meeting kept asking me "how many kids do you want"?
When exactly do you want to get married?

I was so surprised this girl kept on talking about her friends who are married or about to be married......and she is just 23 & yet to go for NYSC, no job nothing.....yet she is dreaming marriage!!!

Well, I had to call her one morning that "ma a gbe keke lo, mi o ba e se re Mo ooo"
Imagine thinking marriage with a stranger? Na wa oh!

Shuo! See desperation at its peak.

Desperado to badt

kulyie: a desperate woman is dangerous to marry o.at least you people should be talking about developing friendship first

Thanks I appreciate you. Pls I need answers to this question - what is dangerous about marrying a desperate woman?

jakeng:
Thanks I appreciate you. Pls I need answers to this question - what is dangerous about marrying a desperate woman?

A desperate woman just wants to be a MRS SOMEBODY....when she is married she won't give a rat's a55 about you or anything else!!

Don't tell me you considering her already?

jakeng:
Seriously, from d bottom of my heart, I was happy about it, but another thing is am just not psychoplogically ready.
Thanks bro

What is the meaning of the bolded? You need to calm her down and let her know that it is a big decision and you need to think about it. You don't intend to play her and will try your best to take the best decision for the both of you. Seriously, if she fits what you are looking for, don't delay forever.

slimyem: If I were you, I'd RUN!!
Second date and she wants you to meet her mum? Ahn ahn! Which kain play be that? She is not a serious person at all. Its a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things or desperate people.
Even as a lady,it'd be unsettling if a man was talking marriage on the second date.
If she was just trying to define the relationship like saying she wants serious,i'd have said okay but here?

Sometimes people make mistakes in the way they make an approach. She could have been observing him for a long time and finding him suitable she made her move rather swiftly. I know people I can propose to in a day if I feel like it- the key factor there is that I don't feel like it.

Let's say I do propose within that short space of time, would they not be shocked too? That does not necessarily mean I am desperate.

I agree though that there should not be too much haste on the part of the person being proposed to. They should take their time within reason.

Note: Proposal and acceptance does not always mean a quick marriage. It just means you guys have agreed to marry- when that will happen is another matter.

Na wa oh.... Different stokes for Nigerian folks.

Everything has its meaning in Nigerian context. RUN ? For what? I still remember my Aunt ( rip) says to my brothers ..... Ma fi iyawo e se girlfriend oh ! O ti bo fun e niyen!

OP...I'm short for words...Keep following the Nigerian ( home& abroad) mentality bandwagon jare... RUN she's desperate. SMDH!!

( [s]I guess I just learned additional lesson to teach my innocent kids; don't talk bout babies until after years of dating jeez)[/s] Talk bout future = Desperate ....only applicable to Nigerian guys tho.

maclatunji: Sometimes people make mistakes in the way they make an approach. She could have been observing him for a long time and finding him suitable she made her move rather swiftly. I know people I can propose to in a day if I feel like it- the key factor there is that I don't feel like it.

Let's say I do propose within that short space of time, would they not be shocked too? That does not necessarily mean I am desperate.

I agree though that there should not be too much haste on the part of the person being proposed to. They should take their time within reason.

Note: Proposal and acceptance does not always mean a quick marriage. It just means you guys have agreed to marry- when that will happen is another matter.

Mac, saying she wanted to marry him could have been a "wrong approach", but the fact that she added that she wants his babies too means that this was not a mistake, the gal was/is indeed desperate.

the only reason why you wouldnt feel like proposing to someone on the second date is because you would know absolutely nothing about that person, and any smart man knows that marrying a stranger is like flying a plane with absolutely no knowledge of aircrafts (or a license).

what other reason there is for someone to propose, talk of marriage AND babies on the second date?

even the agreement of marriage within the second date is wrong, because that means that these two have no respect for the institution of marriage. marriage is a serious matter, that demand a lot of strength and dedication. one of the main reason why people divorce is because of misunderstandings due to hasty marriage with strangers (for whatever reasons).

how many people have you heard that got married and discovered AFTER marriage that their partner was a cheater, abusive, disrespectful, dishonest etc ?

jakeng:
Thanks bro, we didn't even know each other from Adam, we both met 4 days ago. She lives in the vicinity where I was supervising a building project.
When I asked her why she loves me this much and why she wanted us end up as husband and wife, she said she doesn't even know d reason why she loves me this much. She further said that not that am a terrific dresser or I drive a big car.

She has told on herself when she mentioned physical signs of you. She is a gold digger in the making. Consider yourself warned.