Hmmmm! I just dont know where to start. I started what I would call a transitory visit of Nairaland sections which begun sometime late April/early MAY this year, having been content with only the frontpage topics since I joined Nairaland forum. I must say I've been WOWED since I stepped into the LITERATURE/WRITING SECTION. Where I'd had anything near such experience is in the ROMANCE SECTION - courtesy of the MR & MRS Nairaland campaign which I participated in maximumly.
I've read so many write-ups in this section and must say I gbadun all. I also appreciate the maturity of readers which stems from their encouragements to the writers and their constructive criticism(pls I'd be needing them soon).

I have read, giggled, laughed, shuddered, touched, nodded. Now I wish to be read. Although I'd always been a Sience Student and writing is the most difficult thing to me, I've decided to join the fray and make humans discover their deepest emotions by giggling, laughing, shuddering, touched to the heart and nodding just as they'd made me do.

Finally, I beckon on my prospective readers not to relent in pointing out errors to me. Pls for emphasis, AM NOT GOOD AT WRITING, so am counting on you to help me walk this unfarmiliar terrain. I'll try to update twice in a week. THANKS!

HERE:


MY NAME IS BINGO

INTRODUCTION

MY NAME IS BINGO CHIKWE. Yes, if there was anything like including the surname of an animal's master or mistress to the one given them, I know many animals would give anything to bear it alongside their pet names. Surprisenly, I'd bore it that way all my life and I have no apology deviating from the norm.

I'd lived some twenty three years of my life mostly in the village setting and partly in the cities. Did I hear you ask "twenty three years for a dog?" Again yes, you heard me right and please don't quote your google research for me cos I know it. It says that the optimal life expectancy of a dog is eighteen years. That is, if factors like good feeding habbit, regular exercise, proper medicare and most importantly size are put into considerations. One scientist had even disagreed that it was weight and not size that matters most(whatever the difference between the two!). Lol, humans you humour me! Moreover, I have news for you - I have beat your ill-conceived records disregarding your wacky factors. Yes, I make bold to fault your records over other animals and over so many things because you human beings like to over-exaggerate your acheivements and downplay ours, calling yourselves higher animals(an animal is an animal). You feel threatened whenever we give you a run for your myopic records drawn from a selected few amongst us. Stop fretting we're not wresttling power from you cos you'll soon surrender it to us after you are done ruining yourselves with same.

Lets get something straight here, its not in my character to be this caustic with words(as you shall see as this story unfolds) but I hate it when humans out of presumptiousness tends to misrepresent other animals.

Anyway that aside, I cannot entirely claim that I disregarded the factors stated by humans in acheiving this feat, but in all honesty my life has been marred with more bitter than sweet. Hence, your factors has no binding effect or correlation on the feat I acheived. In fact, on many occasions, I had had more reasons to die than to live due to numerous severe life experiences I had to contend with. However, truth be told, if there was anything I fear most in life it was death.

Ironically, as you read this peice, I am no more!

************************************************************************************************************************

Lol... Writing as a dog? This is going to be interesting... @Op comman continue

chistar01: Lol... Writing as a dog? This is going to be interesting... @Op comman continue

Thank u @ Christar01, I promise it sure will be interesting if u and other readers drop ur comments to encourage me. Dear readers pls wht do u make of d introductory part. Need u to criticise it b4 I upload chapter 1 whch am presently working on pls. Thanks!

CHAPTER ONE:

“Come who is there, where is that puppy?” That was my owner, Mr Ezeala asking after me. He likes to bark his orders from his hut which stood secluded in our little compound like it’s under banishment from the rest of the hut. His wife, his three teenage boys, my mother, me and the troublesome cat are used to his barking, a job he had unwittingly taken from my mother who as well seemed more than willing to let go. Often, his orders are met with immediate response and services are rendered, and at other times we play deaf and dumb until he got tired of calling. At such times we horn our hearing skill incase we hear the snatching of his whip from the roof of the hut and then signal to our legs that it is time for migration. Ofcourse my mother, the cat and I knows that his wrath is descending on his biological family, but in the events of not seeing anyone to brandish his cane on we always turn out to be the recipients of it. We used to be content with hearing the duel of war of words between him and his wife only from a safe distance. Mama Uchennaya as he will always call her had had it up to her neck just like us over his continuous shout for one errand or the order. Heck who haven’t, even our neighbors! He’d demand, fuming with anger why his calls are not answered upon storming her hut. Mama Uchennaya will vehemently refuse to accept that she heard his calls, and will enthuse that she wouldn’t force her ear to hear what it can’t pick. ‘Lammoaa! See reasoning’ I’d muse from our hiding. However, among his many faults though, he exercises restraint over raising his arm against his wife, but lowers it swiftly on the boys if they hadn’t taken cover or on us the domestic sentries.

“Is there no one in that hut? Mama Uchennaya” he called again jolting me from the reverie of my own thought. Earlier, I had been lying over the dieing embers of burnt ashes with my mother warming ourselves under the wake of the dead flames that usually illuminate this hut every night when our august visitor called. Right now, I am behind the stacked logs of wood stored for many more cold seasons in the future and listen while my owner gossiped me to him. I knew when their discussion tethered towards me and I’d made to leave but decided to hear it all before I took my leave unbeknownst to them that I'd hidden behind the logs of woods through which I peeped now.

Our visitor was Elder Edwin Chikwe, a retiree of Nigeria Steel Industry Ltd I was to learn. Elder Edwin was in his early seventies, though his impressive stature and glowing skin smeared by grey and black hairs that seemed to be in a competition of who will gain ascendency over the other bellied the said age. He was less than fair in complexion, less than average in height, neither lean nor fat. From a reasonable distance, one could mistake him for a boy transiting to manhood if not for the grey hair that streaked his head and arms. I was also to learn that apart from the Nigeria Steel Industry where he had put in fifteen years, he has worked and headed other government ministries, departments and agencies during the course of his career. He had retired about two years ago, but chose to return to his country home, the great Umueze community some five months ago with his wife. Although he was from Umuezeukwu clan which was about twelve kilometers from our own clan Umuezenta depending from where one takes off from, but he had no problems traversing the length and breadth of our large village familiarizing himself with the people and her customs.

My owner had been all cheerful, excited and even letting out a throaty laugh at his presence. Maybe that was why I had taken interest at our visitor even when it has always been the other way round as you shall soon know.

Elder Edwin may have been in his usual familiarization tour and visitation at other times but today I know why he is here. My owner was a renounced palmwine tapper on whose effort the village relies for the wine she consumes. No doubt, he had come for our merchandise.

I had been startled to awake when my mother on whose bosom I was lying in the ashes yawned and I overheard the two men conversing. I decided to give up summoning another round of sleep as this was the second time it has been interrupted in a stretch after the arrival of Elder Chikwe. As if they were ordered, they both cast a glance at me with the calabash of palmwine on hand and I saw an ominous smile play in the lip and cheek of my owner. Immediately I had been alarmed. I began to loath my owner because I knew that like he had always done with our previous visitors; he has shared my paternity story with his most distinguished visitor. I’d eyed him annoyingly and stood to live exuding all my glory when I was shocked by the comment of our visitor
“Quite a beautiful puppy you have here Ezeala”. ‘Am I being noticed for the first time?’ I cried to myself. ‘You have blown your own cover’ my conscience blamed.
I nearly bit myself because I knew I had set the ball rolling for my own history, my own secret to be told with no recurs to my feelings. I’d sat back to endure through it. Then my owner had coughed and I’d closed my eyes willing sleep to take me away from here in spirit even if I can’t leave in body.

******TO BE CONTINUED*******

*********CHAPTER ONE CONT.********

"Looks like a German Shepherd" Elder Chikwe had said, regarding me closely.
"Its a Seberian husky" my owner had replied like he was an expert in deciphering the breed of a dog merely by looking at it.
"Shut up! Was it not bro Edu that told you my breed" wish I had said that. Bro Edu is our neighbor's son who is studying vet. medicine in the university.
"Where are the others?" Elder Chikwe had inquired still regarding me painstakenly.
"others?" my owner had retorted raising his brow as if our visitor had goofed asking that question.
"Yes, ofcourse" came the reply from Elder Chikwe who had raised his guess from me to my owner. That was it! The opportunity I'd prayed for to come. Immediately, I'd stood and managed to tiptoe behind this logs of wood through which I observe them unknown to them. I can endure my owner reeling my own paternal history to a total stranger, but under his watchful gaze is a no no.
"He was born alone. Special breeds don't usually come in numbers" that was my owner.
"What about his mother?" Elder Chikwe asked unconsciously scanning the hut.
"That's her lying there" my owner said pointing at my mother and grinning from ear to ear.
"This" you could just feel the disappointment in the tone of Elder Chikwe's voice as he stick out his index finger pointing at my mother. "Yes that!" I wish I could talk. Why does everyone think that my mother is not fit to have me? Granted, she is a village dog whose breed may give a helluva time to match, but is her biological make-up different from a thousand breed of dogs elsewhere? And you will think that humans knows everything even with their book-warmy approach to everything, even this one. I could have hiss now, just that I don't want to give myself up, at least not until their boring chit-chat is over.
"Yes. That." my owner responded gulping the remnant of the wine in his calabash cup and flipped the dregs. Atta boy! A perfect response like we agreed on it. Who are you to look down on his Lioness? After his wife comes my mother in his life if you don't know. No, in the life of the family in general I should say, because she hunts all the games that the family rely on for their protein source but ends up trapping the bone in between her paws after they were done eating the meat. That is and had always been her reward for a hard work. Nonsense! A revolution will be in order in this house. Aint no one treat my mama like shit!
"but you said he is a Siberian husky" Elder Chikwe adjusted his balance drawing me from the reverie of my own thought. I caught him staring my owner quizzically like he has just deceived him. "he was right, just wait he'll soon reel the story to you. Its just that he is notorious in keeping his visitors at suspense so that he'd be rewarded with the confused look like u had them now" I wanted to say, but no. That is what you get for looking at my mother despicabely!
"Yes. Odugo was impregnated by a city dog that a neighbor brought home last Christmas" my owner revealed(Odugo is my mother's name). 'I'd never forgive you for presenting my mother like a LovePeddler which ultimately makes me an illegitimate puppy' I cried. I can see our visitor nodding.
"Last Christmas" my owner continued, breaking into my thought. "I was coming back from a routine check of my palmwine trees in company of Odugo one evening. I was actually a stone throw from home when I saw adults and children alike running towards my direction and throwing what I will call a tense glance behind. Initially, I'd thought that it was a masquerade that was chasing them until suddenly I saw a boy of about ten years old being dragged by this giant dog." my owner said, raising his arm. I mused because this part of the story always got me curious to know what my father looked like. Although, my owner had quelled that curiosity by always using me to describe the physical look of him, but that hadn't done justice to it as I know that I am not yet grown to look exactly like him.
Elder Chikwe gulp the last content of his cup and return the cup to my owner who stretched his palm and receive it. Ewwww! He drank the dregs? This man sure need some tutelage on so many things. I had once made the mistake of tasting the dregs one certain day. It was my mother that had paid for the sour taste cos I made sure milk touched every part of my mouth as I sucked her bosom in vengeance.
"Elder I have never felt intimidated all my life" 'Oh the story is still on. Listen to the shameful manner you were conceived'.
"I don't know whether to run or stay because it was obvious the dog will soon get freed from the difficulty I saw in the manner he was being dragged. Before I thought of something useful, pooom! he was. He ran with as much strength as he could muster and I only noticed from a hindsight that the young boy was still with the chain. Then I said to my self 'how did he do it?' only to observed that he had a belt on his neck from which the chain unhooked. I was transfixed. All that I thought of was to at least hit the edge of my tapping wine on his head if he comes for me" If I were him I will fly and floor you
"Before I was through deciding what to do, Odugo ran after him her back fur rose to its highest length. I closed my eyes knowing what will come upon her. What was she thinking, does she think this is one of those games she catches? Surprisingly, I didn't hear any sound or was he coming for me?" 'yes to blow your head up' I wanted to say. I always wants to say that each time his narration reaches at this point.
"Low and behold, Odugo was sizing him up barely reaching his chest. He regarded Odugo who was still grumbling like he was amused at her guts and wagged his tail. I called out to Odugo and she wagged her tail but stood still. The giant one wagged his some more and went sniffing her an.us. He remained motionless but wagged her tail like she was not certain whether his friendship was totally acceptable to her. Elder Chikwe before I blink to get my pupil adjusted to the drama before me, they were both inside the bush walking farther. I called after Odugo to no avail. You will never even believe she'd heard that name before let alone bore it. When I later saw her again that night I need not be told what happened as her an.us was almost dropping down"
'What about you that I saw your balls almost flying out of your easy chair the other day' this is one of the moments I do wish I could talk and bear whatever that comes from it.
"That was some experience" Elder Chikwe said and glance at my mother who by now had awaken and scan around the hut. "you're looking for me? No way, you will not see me" I wanted to say.
"Where is the puppy?" Elder Chikwe asked still scanning the floor of the hut.
"He may have gone to my wife's hut. Lunch time is approaching" responded my owner. "Sorry, I will not eat your lunch today if its hinged on your visitor's inspection of me" I muse.
"Is he for sale?"
"What!"

Ishsoph, what happened to this thread

BTW, that picture is not a BINGO.
This is gross impersonation and cannot be tolerated


Try and continue this abeg

spikesC: Ishsoph, what happened to this thread

BTW, that picture is not a BINGO.
This is gross impersonation and cannot be tolerated


Try and continue this abeg

O'boy this was when I found myself in lit. Section o
Had no cheerleader couple with the fact that I suck at writing too. Was trying to see whether I can horn my skill.


The owner erroneously gave him the name cos he's a village man.

Ishsoph:
O'boy this was when I found myself in lit. Section o
Had no cheerleader couple with the fact that I suck at writing too. Was trying to see whether I can horn my skill.


The owner erroneously gave him the name cos he's a village man.

lol, but shouldn't have given up naah

spikesC:

lol, but shouldn't have given up naah

Haven't really
Shall visit the archive someday

Try and continue pls

Ademuyiwa59: Try and continue pls

I will bro, just that I have some serious engagement going on for now.
Thanks for dropping by

I so love this.

Come and continue ooo.

Teespice: I so love this.

Come and continue ooo.

Really?
Thanks

For you I will make out the time dear.