Nollywood makes me angry sometimes because I don’t think the basis of its films are realistic. I took time to watch a Nollywood film today that was more complex that a film needed to be and seemed to take joy in dragging scenes long past my attention span could permit. Although the constant screaming and bad soundtrack annoyed me, I couldn’t help but sink deeper into the plot of the movie. They took a simple God-fearing woman and complicated her life to the point of no return. How you may ask, well here is the list below:
- Her husband was cheating on her (which should be no surprise).
- Then she gets raped (accidentally)
- She gets pregnant and she decided to keep the baby on the grounds of religion.
- Her husband is completely against it (and of course he is, he is a man) Even though he was unable to impregnate her during their seven-year marriage, he could not stand the idea of her having a child by a rapist.
- Husband moves her into the guest room and brings another woman into the house
- (This is were the plot thickens.) The guy who raped her gives his life to Christ and happens to find his way to her church, only for them to fall in love.

I understand forgiveness, but for her to fall in love with the guy who raped her is beyond my comprehension. What bothered me the most is that she felt like she had to choose between her cheating /abusive husband and the man who raped her. The worst part was her decision, I won’t spoil the end just in case someone wants to watch the film, but to put it kindly I disagreed with her choice.

What is Nollywood trying to say about women? If it were the other way around, the man would have left by the first sign of adultery. Why are women expected to sit, cry and pray as a solution to their husbands’ infidelities?

This just makes me realize how strong I have to be when entering a relationship. A woman, a Nigerian woman, is expected to work through all trials. She is expected to hold on to love even when there is no love to hold on to. She is expected to show the truest of love through the darkest times- to give love even when her heart is broken. A Nigerian woman is expected to forgive any and all her man dishes to her. A Nigerian woman is to represent unconditional love. My grandmother loved unconditionally, and so did my mother. Although a new generation of “revolt against the bull shit of man” is uprising in the Nigerian community, I wonder – should I join the revolution or learn to love unconditionally as well. The love that is expected of a Nigerian woman is a tradition and it is a characteristic that has always brought a Nigerian man back to his country to find a wife.

I don’t mind loving unconditionally, but I don’t know if my heart can withstand the abuse of an African man. I am spoiled by the American culture of romanticism. I live in this fantasy world were a relationship is 50-50. My uncle told me that, that was my problem. He said, and I quote because I will never forget this, “ In America women are told that whatever a man can do, a woman can do better. But here in Africa what ever a man can do, a man can do.”

I know some may find what my uncle said offensive, but I think that hidden in that backwards mindset is the reason why divorce isn’t common in African families. That is why when entering a serious relationship both man and woman must look inside themselves and question their strength. The woman especially, must question her ability to love that man unconditionally because there should be no looking back after the “I dos” have been said. I don’t believe that times will constantly be hard for the woman, but I believe that when they do (and they will), jumping into the next boat will not be the answer, no matter how fast yours is sinking. I still hate how the movie ended, but in the process of writing this post, I understand her decision. I only pray that such tragedies remain in film, never to escape into the realities of my life, or anyone else.

Once this topic comes up, I tell everyone i meet that Nigerian movies lower the IQ and there is no way any of my children are going to watch that crap. They teach you nothing except superstition, wickedness and how to make poorly produced movies. Its better you just break melon (egusi) or play video games.

for a comprehensive review of nollywood films before you spend endless hours or spend another kobo/cent on a worthless movie, check out my blog, the nollywood critique