DJDOLA: And when did sex turn 2 food....maybe ur husband is a horse..madam u need 2 run for ur dear life before ur husband will expand dat hole if u allow him 2 expand dat hole then OYO lo wa niyen oooo

yellowpawpaw: Technically,she was a virgin but spiritually,she is not.
Madam go and buy female equivalent of viagra. Take overdose.
Do it consistently for like two weeks, he will be d one begging.
Get lubricating gel so u won't be bruised. If he start getting tired, take more of d drug and attack.He want to run,no gree.
Fuc*k d hell outta him for like two weeks until he faints one day.

U can tie him up too. Just endure it and teach him a lesson he will never forget.
Nobody will tell him to calm down by force.
How I wish he met his equal.
Yeyecious man.

rigormortis:


as funny as this advice sounds, its actually a good one. but i doubt if the OP has the mind to carry it out, when dealing with men like this , let your actions speak louder, there is no reasoning with a guy with a hard d1kc, cos he is thinking with his d1kc

and beleive me in the head of a hard d1kc, there is no brain

Yungwizzzy: serious matter

well it's a lesson for those 'till we get married babes'

Efemena_xy: If this story really is true, then the husband has no business hitting her.

I doubt that having s.ex can lead to miscarriages (correct me if I'm wrong)

but that aside, she sounds like one cold fish of a woman with a non-existent se.x drive jare.

kulyie: how can she have good sex drive when her husband is always decending on her viciously.even if she has high libido,it will go down to zero because of constand marital rape and abuse.how can a person violently sexed look forward to sex or enjoy sex.of course she will see it as punishment na.i really feel sorry for her.honestly tales like this discourage some virgins to remain virgins till marriage except she has strong inner will to keep herself for the man who will marry her

Iyandasdiary:
I also fulfilled my side of the bargain. Whenever he needed to ease off, I was there for him. We had a fantastic dating period and I can hardly forget those moments we had together.

Efemena_xy:

Let's not get carried away. We've only heard one side of the story.

Besides, she sounds frigid. It must be awful for the man to be married to a cold fish of a wife. Like I said, physical abuse aside, she needs to up her game.

She must have known he had a high libido from the onset hence this statement:



What did she mean by 'eased off'? Ma.st.ur.bation? 0r@l s.ex??

She knew exactly what she was doing jare. S.ex is no child's play and he is right to demand it.

If he goes looking outside because she can't meet his needs, na she go first run here screaming: "How do I control my cheating husband!"

kulyie: haba efemena and you are talking as if youre not a woman with feelings and emotions.so because op is his wife,that means she must be raped everyday.any sex that is not enjoyed by the 2 people involved is no more sex and the man gan doesnt seem to care about her feelings during,before and after.his own is to just get down below.nawa o!

Meanwhile,yes,i have heard one side,what coukd be the 2nd side of the story.shebi op said she has talked to the husband,no change.abeg,make una dey try pity another fellow woman like you

Efemena_xy:

Kulyie, abeg let's call a spade a spade jare.

Just because her 'Sister Mary' moves worked for her pre-marriage doesn't mean they'll work for her post-marriage. Just because he was honourable enough to hold off his physical needs pre-marriage doesn't mean she has to se.x starve him of his conjugal rights and term it "r@pe".

S.ex can be as enjoyable as you want it to be. She needs a knock on the head to sit up and learn fast jor. From the sound of it, she's the type that believes s.ex is purely for procreation and not for enjoyment. What full blooded man will want to live with that?

I think it's sweet that her man even rushes home from work to be with her. Yet she complains! This is way many men say we women don't know what we want. She needs to see a shrink to help rid her of her inhibitions and belief that s.ex is wrong. Body nor be wood.

kulyie: then the man has to take it slowly with her,not with girigiri knowing that she is just starting sex.he should try and understand his wife has feelings.he is not sleeping with a prostitute who has zero emotional feelings or bond for her partner for crying out loud,he is sleeping with his wife and as such has to be kind and handle her gentle not do the thing anyhow like those porn movies.at least if he is a considerate person,he should reason woth his wife na.which kain selfishness be that.even if you are married to a person and your partner says no,then let her be.if you force her,that is rape and rape is a forceful act to have carnal knowledge of someone irrespective of whether it is within marriage or not.abi is that the way to encourage someone who is just starting sex to go on or continue.people should honestly try and be thoughful of other peoples feeling.everyone is not a s3x machine

Efemena_xy:

Kulyie, abeg let's call a spade a spade jare.

Just because her 'Sister Mary' moves worked for her pre-marriage doesn't mean they'll work for her post-marriage. Just because he was honourable enough to hold off his physical needs pre-marriage doesn't mean she has to se.x starve him of his conjugal rights and term it "r@pe".

S.ex can be as enjoyable as you want it to be. She needs a knock on the head to sit up and learn fast jor. From the sound of it, she's the type that believes s.ex is purely for procreation and not for enjoyment. What full blooded man will want to live with that?

I think it's sweet that her man even rushes home from work to be with her. Yet she complains! This is way many men say we women don't know what we want. She needs to see a shrink to help rid her of her inhibitions and belief that s.ex is wrong. Body nor be wood.

Efemena_xy:

Take what slowly jare? How long have they been married for? You make it sound like they wedded just yesterday! She is NOT just starting anything jor. All those little worn out holy-holy tricks aren't working anymore for her and rightly so.

You say he should understand his wife's got feelings. Don't you think it works both ways? Does she need to be told that her husband has feelings, which she too should consider? And that there is only so much he can do to 'stall' himself when the physical need to consummate his marriage rises within him.

Kulyie, Kulyie, Kulyie ... the bolded bit of your post got me in stitches! Define anyhow

In as much as you advocate that her husband should 'step down' on his demands for sex with his wife, she too should 'step up' in equal measures. That way, at the very least, they meet each other halfway. It's only fair. If she refuses to make any effort on her part, then she's just as selfish if not more. Sex is not meant to be weapon to be wielded against your other half in matrimony.

And yes, most men want their wives to be a p0rn star in bed, if not better. She should be open to experimenting and trying out new stuff (positioning, angles, acts) with her hubby, rather than restrict him to the same, boring, missionary position - which I'm sure she does, from the sound of her post.

She is lucky to have such a virile man. Shame she doesn't realize it.

dayokanu: If the man doesnt do enough the women would complain , If he decides to satisfy his libido elsewhere na wahala, Im sure the girl would have told the guy when dating to relax that when they get married he would have sex to his heart fill, Now the guy is asking her to fulfil her promise and she is running away.

A guy leaves work to come home and ffuck his wife, Do you knw how many women wish for this? Instead of the guy going to hang out in a beer parlour or with Unilag babes who would satisfy him

You better step up before you chase the man out.

Kulyie lets say youre hungry, Your mom says you cant eat to your fill at home, you cant eat outside and youre not allowed to steal so whats the option left? Starvation? How many human would starve if there are options

kulyie: the 2 of them dont have the same sexual libido.one is obviously higher and more aggressive than the other

kulyie: and if he loves his wife enough,or better put,a man that loves his wife and respects her body should understand that her sexual history is just starting with him and if he is to encourage her to start liking sex you will teach her gently in love and do fore play/romantic stuffs that will make her eager for more sex,not just doing like one hungry sex starved lion that just wants to get down and do press up on his wife without even bothering about her feeling,emotions and body.

kulyie: meanwhile virginity is still a thing of pride in a warped,perversed and deranged generation where everyone thinks waywardness and all forms of sexual looseness is cool.theres nothing as cool as starting your sex life on a clean note Especially when it is with the right man who has regard for the sanctity of a womans body and her being without pasts of miss op fvked taiwo,miss op fvked martins,miss fvked james,miss fvked peter etc

kulyie: then as for kulyie,leave kulyie out of this.the issue is a man treating his partner as a sex object not WIFE,potential mother of your kids and manager of your home.all this roles enough should make a man who has any iota of decency and respect for his wife have sex with her LIKE A WIFE.

Efemena_xy:

How d'you know that for sure? How d'you know it's not her word against his? You dey inside room with them? Abi you perch on their roof top dey listen to their se.xua.l 'conversations'?

For all you know, the dude might be very complacent and understanding, but just because wifey's set her mind to I nor wan do mode, anything and everything he does to initiate intimacy between them would be termed 'aggressive' by her.




Apply that same analogy to the wife. If she loves her husband enough, or better still, a woman who loves her man and respects his physical needs should understand his sex.ua.l history too.

~ He made no bones about being super active in bed.

~ He told her this before marriage.

~ She asked him to hold off as per she won't break that hymen before marriage. He agreed.

~ Now he's fulfilled his end of the contractual agreement, she backtracks looking for lame excuses that his libido is too high for her. Like seriously?? Is she only just realizing this now? She didn't know what she was getting into when she signed the dotted lines? Abeg talk another one jare.

Re: The bolded bit of your post. Give credit where it's due. She herself admitted that he was very gentle with her on her wedding night. So what makes you think he isn't capable of being the kind, considerate lover you advocate for? Look, if this woman isn't interested in se.x, there's nothing under the sun her husband can do to change her mind - apart from carting her off to a good shrink to help her delve into the recess of her past and find out what went wrong, emotionally and 'fix it'.

In the meantime, what d'you expect the poor man to do? Live a celibate life of a monk? (I don't think so). Get involved in extra-marital affairs? (I don't think so). Take what belongs to him? (Yes. It's his right to do whether she likes it or not. Otherwise, she should have just kept that virginity of hers to herself and not get married. She had no business doing so in the first place if she thinks se.x is not an integral part of marriage.)




Virginity is a matter of personal choice and opinion. It was her preference to remain as one pre-marriage. He respected her for it. Now they're married, she hasn't got a leg to stand on. She better shape up and get performing on her man. Her man from the sound of it is well versed in the act of s.ex. IF she can prove to him that she really wants to learn, I've no doubt her man won't have any problem teaching her.

It's not just her body or his body. She belongs to him and he belongs to her. she has no right to even think of holding him off or denying him the right to be intimate with her. She isn't a child but a mature woman - so she needs to act like one.

I hope you do realize that her continued refusal to have s.ex with her man is grounds enough for him to divorce her? As it breaks the terms and agreement of their marriage contract?



Your repeating yourself here again. Like I said earlier, apply that same analogy to the woman. She should accord her man the same level of respect by getting down to playing her role as a wife to him. She isn't a little girl playing with her barbie dolls in dolly house. She's a big girl now and should act it if she has any iota of decency and respect for her man, the potential father of her kids, provider, protector and defender of their home. He wasn't born a eunuch nor should she treat him like one. It's an insult to his manhood. He is a man - she better realise that - quick!

Efemena_xy:
Take what belongs to him? (Yes. It's his right to do whether she likes it or not. Otherwise, she should have just kept that virginity of hers to herself and not get married. She had no business doing so in the first place if she thinks se.x is not an integral part of marriage.)

Virginity is a matter of personal choice and opinion. It was her preference to remain as one pre-marriage. He respected her for it. Now they're married, she hasn't got a leg to stand on. She better shape up and get performing on her man. Her man from the sound of it is well versed in the act of s.ex. IF she can prove to him that she really wants to learn, I've no doubt her man won't have any problem teaching her.

It's not just her body or his body. She belongs to him and he belongs to her. she has no right to even think of holding him off or denying him the right to be intimate with her. She isn't a child but a mature woman - so she needs to act like one.

I hope you do realize that her continued refusal to have s.ex with her man is grounds enough for him to divorce her? As it breaks the terms and agreement of their marriage contract?

Your repeating yourself here again. Like I said earlier, apply that same analogy to the woman. She should accord her man the same level of respect by getting down to playing her role as a wife to him. She isn't a little girl playing with her barbie dolls in dolly house. She's a big girl now and should act it if she has any iota of decency and respect for her man, the potential father of her kids, provider, protector and defender of their home. He wasn't born a eunuch nor should she treat him like one. It's an insult to his manhood. He is a man - she better realise that - quick!

Flytefalls:
Insulting. @Bolded; how would this facilitate a happy/respectful marriage?

Flytefalls: This woman does not reject sex post-marriage, no. She cannot cope with his over-frequent demand for sex post-marriage. There is a difference. So why are you talking about her "shaping up and get performing"? Are you in a sexual relationship? Secondly, are you a woman in a sexual relationship? Do you know that it actually starts to hurt despite her libido-levels? This is NOT a personal choice. We are not born limitless. It would be much better for this man to take time with his wife. She would respond to his demands more lovingly and better anatomically.

Flytefalls: He should go ahead.

Flytefalls: Disgusting. She is perceived as unwilling to have sex throughout your argument, but this is not the point of her story. Yes, she was a virgin. Yes she made him wait. But she is no longer a virgin and she is over that. The point is, regardless of a ones sex drive, under no circumstances should anyone be forced to have sex when they are unwilling.

Flytefalls: In me, you will not find a virgin-enthusiast. This whole virgin thing is turning people mad I swear . But I believe this is not the main issue here.

Efemena_xy:

Really? What makes it insulting?




Of course she doesn't reject sex post-marriage. Whoever said she does? The point is her attitude post-sex marriage still reeks of that ingredient called 'abstinence' which worked fine for her then, but not now. If she was being receptive to her husband, she wouldn't be in the situation she's in now, would she?

The bolded bit of your post is subjective and open to different forms of interpretation. To the man, she isn't being active enough for his liking. To her, he's been too over active for her liking. So how can you tell who's telling the truth here, based on just one person's version of events? Where this person in question so happens to be the aggrieved party? I bet you, if this man where to come online and post his version of events, it'll be a completely different story.

As per your questions, my gender, or whether or not I'm in a sexual relationship is of no relevance here. I'm not the one with issues complaining, am I? And if I were in that situation, I would be honest enough to take a step back and see how I could have contributed to the issue(s) at hand, rather than sit on my @r$e bemoaning my fate and slanging my other half's sexual prowess (or not) online. Now that's what I call insulting and disrespectful.

With regards to your last statement, how do you know this man hasn't been patient with her all along and has finally reached the end of his tether? How do you know he hasn't tried his very best, but she just isn't interested? And if that's the case, you tell me, what next to you expect him to do? M@asturb@ate with himself even though he's got a wife at home? Go out and look for a much more willing and receptive partner?

I'm sorry I find it impossible to sympathise with that woman. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, he made no bones to her about his libido prior to marriage. She made him hold of for the sake of her personal beliefs, which he respected like the true gentleman he is.

Now it's her turn to return the favour and she cries 'foul'? Did she not know what she was getting into while singing 'I do' and signing the dotted lines? Did she not not know the obligations that come along with matrimony?? Or she thinks it's child's play? Where her man's physical needs can be switched on and off like a tap she can control?




He may if he reaches the end of his patience with her. She'll be the one to lose out, not him. It is afterall, a man's world, especially in Naija of all places.




Pray, do tell - what's disgusting about it?

Did you see my very first post on this issue? Did I not say violence aside?

At the end of the day, it is what it is. He will continue to have se.x with her whether she likes it or not, feels he works on overdrive or not, or feels she's got a lower, medium or whatever libido or not. She can't run away from that reality, so yes, she better shape up and get on with it. If she's got an aversion to se.x based on some deep seated emotional problems somewhere in her past, then she better go see a qualified shrink to sort her out of her web.



Ditto.

No one said it is. The information used here is based on what she's provided us with, not the other way round.

kulyie: madam efe,i am not sorry to say that this arguement is heading no where :/

Efemena_xy:

Really? What makes it insulting?




Of course she doesn't reject sex post-marriage. Whoever said she does? The point is her attitude post-sex marriage still reeks of that ingredient called 'abstinence' which worked fine for her then, but not now. If she was being receptive to her husband, she wouldn't be in the situation she's in now, would she?

The bolded bit of your post is subjective and open to different forms of interpretation. To the man, she isn't being active enough for his liking. To her, he's been too over active for her liking. So how can you tell who's telling the truth here, based on just one person's version of events? Where this person in question so happens to be the aggrieved party? I bet you, if this man where to come online and post his version of events, it'll be a completely different story.

As per your questions, my gender, or whether or not I'm in a sexual relationship is of no relevance here. I'm not the one with issues complaining, am I? And if I were in that situation, I would be honest enough to take a step back and see how I could have contributed to the issue(s) at hand, rather than sit on my @r$e bemoaning my fate and slanging my other half's sexual prowess (or not) online. Now that's what I call insulting and disrespectful.

With regards to your last statement, how do you know this man hasn't been patient with her all along and has finally reached the end of his tether? How do you know he hasn't tried his very best, but she just isn't interested? And if that's the case, you tell me, what next to you expect him to do? M@asturb@ate with himself even though he's got a wife at home? Go out and look for a much more willing and receptive partner?

I'm sorry I find it impossible to sympathise with that woman. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, he made no bones to her about his libido prior to marriage. She made him hold of for the sake of her personal beliefs, which he respected like the true gentleman he is.

Now it's her turn to return the favour and she cries 'foul'? Did she not know what she was getting into while singing 'I do' and signing the dotted lines? Did she not not know the obligations that come along with matrimony?? Or she thinks it's child's play? Where her man's physical needs can be switched on and off like a tap she can control?




He may if he reaches the end of his patience with her. She'll be the one to lose out, not him. It is afterall, a man's world, especially in Naija of all places.



At the end of the day, it is what it is. He will continue to have se.x with her whether she likes it or not, feels he works on overdrive or not, or feels she's got a lower, medium or whatever libido or not. She can't run away from that reality, so yes, she better shape up and get on with it. If she's got an aversion to se.x based on some deep seated emotional problems somewhere in her past, then she better go see a qualified shrink to sort her out of her web

Flytefalls:

"It is afterall, a man's world"
"She can't run away from that reality"
"He will continue to have s3x with her whether she likes it or not"
"M@sturbate with himself even though he's got a wife at home?"

SMH. I walk away from this discussion based on these quotes above. Because, guess what, I am blessed with autonomy. As I'm not marrying you, I bid you good life.

Efemena_xy:

I thought you said this was the end of the discussion for you? Why're you still here?

Can't you make up you mind on what it is you really want?

I will say whatever I want to say irrespective of whether you like it or not Kulyie. You've stated your opinion, I'm stating mine.