Check Ma Files: - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 1:19pm On Jun 11, 2008 |
[size=16pt]These 16 comments were recorded from police conversations.[/size] 1. "You know stop lights dont get any redder than this 1 you just went thru 2. Relax the handcuffs are tight because they r new. they ll stretch after u wear them for a while 3. If u take ur hands off the car, i ll make ur birth certificate a worthless document 4. If u run, u ll only go to jail tired 5. Can u run faster than 1200 feet per second, cos thats d speed of the bullet goin after u 6. You dont know how fast u r that means i can write anything on d ticket 7. The answer to this last question ll determine if u r drunk or not, was mickey mouse a cat or a dog 8. "Warning" u want a warning? OK i am warning u or u get anoda ticket. . . . . |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 1:27pm On Jun 11, 2008 |
[size=18pt]cont'd[/size] 9. Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but i dont think it ll help. Oh, did i mentioned dat am d shift sup?. . .i dont think so. 10. "Fair", you want me to b fair?.Listen fair is a place where people go on roller coasters, eat cotton candy & pop corn & step on monkey poop, dat u just did 11. Yeah, we av a quota, 2 more tickets i issue my wife gets a microwave oven 12. In God we trust, all others we run thru NCIC 13. How big r those 2 beers u said u had 14. Sir, we dont av quotas anymore, we used to but now just issue as many tickets as we can 15. I 'm glad to know dat d Chief of police is ur friend @ least u knw sum1 who can post ur bail Lastly. U didnt think we gave pretty women tickets uhn? U r right we dont, sign here". |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 1:31pm On Jun 11, 2008 |
[size=18pt] One for you, [/size] Two young boys from d eastern part stole a bag of fruits from the village market and took off. They decided to go to the nearest cemetery to share the loot, But they had to scale a big gate to enter the cemetery. As they were scaling the gate two oranges fell out of the bag and were left behind at the gate. A heavily drunk man on his way from a local tavern was passed near the cemetery gate and heard the following: One for me - One for you (Distribution of the loot was in progress), One for me - One for you, He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to the local priest. "Father James come with me and witness, God and Satan are sharing corpses at the Cemetery"- He said. They both ran back to the cemetery gate where the voices continued: "One for me - One for you" Suddenly one of the voices said "Let's get the two at the gate" One of the Pastor's shoes is still at the cemetery as at the time of sending this mail. If na you nko, who wan die? He that witnesses and runs away lives to "witness" another day. Abeg help pastor fetch him shoe jo!!!! Thank you so much & have a nice day, |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 2:24pm On Jun 11, 2008 |
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| Re: Check Ma Files: by olulu(m): 3:26pm On Jun 11, 2008 |
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| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 11:01am On Jun 13, 2008 |
Tomato Story A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start. The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.' The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US , He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied,'I don't have an email.' The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!' Moral of the story Moral 1 Internet is not the solution to your life. Moral 2 If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire. Moral 3 If you received this message by email, you are closer to being a office boy/girl,than a millionaire, P.S - Do not forward this email back to me, I am closing my email account & going to sell tomatoes!!! |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 5:59pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Convertible bra
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| Re: Check Ma Files: by ituen(m): 10:54am On Jun 14, 2008 |
nice one holythug |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by kene20(m): 11:07am On Jun 14, 2008 |
Good jokes but i think |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by ituen(m): 11:14am On Jun 14, 2008 |
yes oh, esp me During handling, all those extra material go cause discomfort |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 12:47pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
so wat do u suggest i do. . .strip it OFF |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by clemcykul(f): 1:11pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
i love dat bosom |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 1:27pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
i trust u naa. . . |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by olulu(m): 3:53pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
2 well peaked, glorious wonderful moulds of pure, woman flesh i love it |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by kayowalemi(m): 4:32pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
Thank god I wear glasses those boobies nearly blinded me, my eyes are scratching already, I beg commot am |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 4:34pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
r u sure bout wat u say |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 11:28am On Jun 17, 2008 |
olulu:y wont u |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by clemcykul(f): 12:23pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
those are appetizers love em badly |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 4:17pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
cos u said so |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by STEVEFAB: 4:23pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
what kinda th read is this |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 4:27pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
see wetin u dey take ur 1st post do |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by Nobody: 7:54pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
Can you imagine? that pix is somehow, i dont really know what to say |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by saucekid(m): 8:03pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
uhm . . . \ holybug don spoil |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by studio43(m): 8:12pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
this is one picture i've been looking out for , she's the bomb! wow, my friends would love to see this yummy  |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by saucekid(m): 8:15pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
ur eyes don too corrupt |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by studio43(m): 8:23pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
saucekid: yes cuz i no send no one. corrupt or no corrupt, lets see who go make heaven on the last day |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by clemcykul(f): 3:52pm On Jun 18, 2008 |
me! |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 4:22pm On Jun 18, 2008 |
am just a . . .abeg i no spoil jo |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by Jeovy(m): 6:08pm On Jun 18, 2008 |
Blood of God,am out |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 12:16pm On Jun 19, 2008 |
yeye boi afta peepin @ sum1 in d bafroom, u kon dey find 4giveness |
| Re: Check Ma Files: by holythug(m): 12:38pm On Jun 19, 2008 |
 kai see Drogba pple, d guy no fit hold piss
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| Re: Check Ma Files: by Nobody: 12:42pm On Jun 19, 2008 |
roflmao drogba! |
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