I av been dating this lady for the past 4years. she has been helpful but she doesn't give me respect and get angry easily with little issue. she even heat me at times when she is angry. I still love her but I am afraid of going into marriage with her. pls I need advice.

She needs helps and she's obviously temperamental. If she's willing to change, then help her change. Counseling and discipline will go a long way.

deskydejay: I av been dating this lady for the past 4years. she has been helpful but she doesn't give me respect and get angry easily with little issue. she even heat me at times when she is angry. I still love her but I am afraid of going into marriage with her. pls I need advice.

what exactly do you love about her?

If her good part outweighs her bad parts and the bad part is what you think you can cope with, (not what you can change o, because no one has power to change anyone), then you can go ahead and marry, but sincerely talking, living with someone who cant control his/her temper when angry is far beyond me. A lady who can have the gut to hit a guy when angry is probably a very hot tempered lady(i stand to be corrected anyway) and you will have to be extremely patient and tolerant if both of you will eventually come together.
I sincerely wish you well o, but just remember that, love alone isnt enough for marriage o.
However, you both can go for counselling together, from there, you will be able to hear what yor will have to cope with and be taught/advised on how you can cope with them.
May God help us all.

An Angry woman? What does the book of Proverbs say about angry women? It's better to live in a burning city!

You are barely coping with the temper, the violence and the disrespect now and you think it's gonna be better when you're married? Read the signs now dide. The writing on the wall dude. Read the writing on the wall. Whatever you can't take during courtship, know it will usually get worse after.

My brother you have to be very careful. Its better to walk away now than turning your future home to wrestling pitch.

If I may ask, is she from abusive home? Because if yes, it's most likely for her to repeat what she has seen over the years.

Think deep, don't be carried away by skeletal love.

Abere..... roping childhood crap with what a grown aśš adult has revolved herself to ..... When will people start to practice Accountability/Responsibility for their own actions without bringing people down with them??
Abeg don't give me that chis brown tale ....... I don't buy it one bit. Then Oprah should be the most vulnerable/ bitter being on earth with what she went thru growing up... So why did she turn out different??

OP
Pick your race now , this is where it starts. for starters... you can't change nobody... unless you're willing to be her punching bag then go ahead and put a ring on it. Don't forget to change your moniker to avoid 'I told you so response' tho.

One thing i learnt in life, people rarely change, they only become a clearer version of what they truly are.
If you are having serious doubt about her temperament after 4yrs of dating, a period you must have done all it takes to make her change to no avail, then please move on.
I will always say, dont marry anyone out of pity. Marry without doubt.
It is well.

WAit wait wait..

Did I read that she beat you
How
Is it slap or barrage of slaps or pankere or screams

Please explain


PS - move on

Violence in any form should not be treated lightly. You alone know what you want and nobody can advice you on what you truly want.

If you are contented with a violent person, good for you. If you are not, you still have time to run away.


Never every marry anybody with the assumption that she will change.

My opinion is this (based on my years of experience in marriage & what i have observed from other married couples), dont get married to someone hoping certain character traits would improve or disappear. Marriage is kind off "sold as seen". What you see is what you get. Its true that some people change with time, its also true that some people dont change. They say marriage is for better for worse. Its bad enough that less temperamental couples go through rough patches where 1 or both of them would want out how much more when you are putting yourself in line for "happily ever after" with a potential hot headed spouse.
A violent woman that hits a man she isnt married to is the type that wont hesitate in ripping your clothing apart in a public place. Now tell me what type of morals or values would she instill in your children? What kind of home maker would she be? what type of marital bliss do you think you would get from such a person?
Make what you wish out of these but remember to be man enough to stand the consequences of whatever decisions you make,

Pls fly away from that woman!

Its obvious you need to quit and run for your dear life

Before I comment, can you pls expansiate on the hitting part...as in which kind of hitting are we talking about here

Royal Roy: One thing i learnt in life, people rarely change, they only become a clearer version of what they truly are.

^@ OP, read it here again, because it's the truth.

Make a direct statement; anger, disrespect and physical abuse should not feature in any relationship. Take a step back and tell her exactly why. Then allow her to choose her path forward.

@Op

If you want to keep getting all she gives you now, marry her. It is your choice.



If you all say, he should leave her, who do you want her to marry?

There are probably some good things in her that he isnt speaking of.


Comon o jare @ op, when she gets cooled down after being angry, you guys go ahead and have a beautiful time together abi. Stop getting her angry and you would be fine

Maybe u r d one getting her angry always bro. Dating sum1 4 good 4yrs. U shld hv knw her well well. Work on ur side bro and remember her in ur prayer dat God shld help her. Besides, maybe u r d man God sent to change her life. Go in prayer bro.it s well

deols: @Op

If you want to keep getting all she gives you now, marry her. It is your choice.



If you all say, he should leave her, who do you want her to marry?

There are probably some good things in her that he isnt speaking of.


Comon o jare @ op, when she gets cooled down after being angry, you guys go ahead and have a beautiful time together abi. Stop getting her angry and you would be fine

Who will she marry?Let her marry someone that gets angry like her.

@Op,marrying a temperamental woman is dangerous.Don't let her burn your house like left eye(of TLC) or d lady that set fire on a jeep i saw here on Nairaland.

thorpido: Who will she marry?Let her marry someone that gets angry like her.

@Op,marrying a temperamental woman is dangerous.Don't let her burn your house like left eye(of TLC) or d lady that set fire on a jeep i saw here on Nairaland.

If she marries someone like her, how do you want the marriage to be?

You want them to have children with anger²?

Op is the best for her. He only needs to stop annoying her.

that it bothered you enough to seek advise indicates that you may not be able to tolerate her after marriage. your innate desire to be respected by your wife wont go away when you get married. but have you sat her down to discuss this issue and how it bothers you?