This question came up my mind.i had was chating with my peeps and one of them made refrence to her late dad. I suprisely inquired how she died. My friend tapped me as if to say dont ask that.

This makes me ponder.is it wrong to ask ?

Even though i think it's rude, it has become a norm in Nigerian and the people being asked the question are not complaining. But personally, i wouldn't ask one such a question.

If the incident is fresh, it might be wise not to ask and if you have to ask, observe the air around the person you are asking before you do. Reliving details of how a loved one died is not such a beautiful thing.

Its kind of rude to me because you are making the person relieve the unpleasant experience.
I dont ask the mourner directly, I go to ask people who are close to them. This is Naija, there will always be people to fill you in on the tory.

Its absolutely upsetting, especially with Social Media.
You loose someone, you are fresh in pain and you get 10 people immediately hunting for gossip "Who is that" What killed him or her" "Na wa oh"

Someone looses someone, pay your condolences respectfully and move on, what use does the information you are seeking for help to ease the pain of the person? What is the curiousity aimed at achieving? To prevent you from dying or to debate on if he/ she should have died or not.

When people are ready to speak they will, let them be the one to open up at their own time.

Op, u need to go thru ur write-up again, there might be some corrections to make.

@ d topic; it's always a reflex action to ask "how"? When we heard somebody died, not that we are trying to create any feeling on d part of d bereaved, but sometimes knowing the cause of death gives clues to the kind of encouragement the bereaved needs.

For me I don't think it's rude but it depends on how it is used.

It depends, for instance if someone lost a loved one from a terminal illness, n tells u dat d fellow died sick, n u r not satisfied wif d answer, u may have to watch it cos u are trespassing.

Secondly, u need to knw wat ur reciever feels about d fellow he/she lost b4 asking ur question.

If it's around the time the person died....it's bad..IMO
and also the nature of the death. [s] wait, how will u know the nature when you dont know how the person died? [/s] .


Well, it depends on how you "land" the question.

Not rude but it opens old wounds..

How will I come to your house to cry and I don't know what killed the person??
It is not rude! They sometimes announce what killed the person in church or meeting!
So I don't think it's s rude.

Depending on the circumstance, but the truth is people deserve to know. Here are the three most common ways to die though.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/06/ways-to-die.html

for me, i see no reason why you want to know "how" someone died. death na death ... anyway if u must, why not use this means like say for instance "OMG! he/she was looking so healthy and strong what could have gone wrong?"... Most times, they tend to tell u d circumstances surrounding d death.

@OP... back to your question, i dont find it rude rather i see it as a means of u trying to tell me how foolish you could possibly be no pun intended

Journalists no send ur emotions sef. Kinda bad to ask shaa. Jst say: take hrt

It depends on circumstances. I remeber I was about to eat a plate of beans one day when a neigbhour broke the news of the death of another neighbour to me.I just don't know what made me ask that woman that day. THANK GOD I ASKED. It was a plate of beans that killed the neighour. I remember it was during the Poisonous beans era

I think it depends on the person you're asking and most importantly,THE TIMING..
..
All izz well!

what is essence of asking?
The person that has died will never wake up again. To me, it has no meaning.

*speechless*
I'm coming, i'l release a ROBUST REPLY soon.

I don't think it's rude unless the person asks rudely. That being said, it should be asked appropriately and in a sensitive way.

To me, i dont know whether it is rude or not, but, i believe that, most times, it's a spontaneous question, as in, unknowingly, people just say... haaaaaaa!"kilopaaa? But if i'm in such situation, i have also designed my own spontaneous answer........"na death kill am"


for example;
Mr A: we heard that your dad died, ha, wetin kill him?
Me: yes oo, na death kill him!



Very simple.

E no rude o, ask hw him/her take die. It's ur God given right to be inquisitive jare

It's not rude. it depends on the tone of voice.
If you politely ask a leading question like "oh sorry to hear that was he/she sick" that will help the person answering to say yes for 5 or 6 months or no it was an accident etc. don't just jump into "wetin killam"

It depends on who you're asking. Me, I try not to ask a close or direct relative of the deceased so as not to look insensitive. Depends on the tone of voice you use too.

Question: Eyaaaaaa dohhh Na wetin kill your husband aunty Glady's

Answer: No mind am, na him girlfriend, husband catch am for their matrimonial bed naim him shoot am, him dead body dey police station them say make we bring 50k to bail am naim i leave am there make them chop am.

#Just passing sha

.

Yungwizzzy: wots rude asking how someone died?


no matter how sad it is

Wetin kill am will also erupt

Abi

That's the next question oyinbo will ask sef .. some close friends will rub your back and bring out Kleenex while at it

[quote author=mumumugu]This question came up my mind.i had was chating with my peeps and one of them made refrence to her late dad. I suprisely inquired how she died. My friend tapped me as if to say dont ask that.

This makes me ponder.is it wrong to ask ?[/quote

1) Ur question is not worth answering cos from ur name, you are 'mumumugu'. Very idiotic being.

2) She made 'reference' (which you couldnt even spell it right) to her late 'dad'

3) But you surprisingly inquired to know how 'she' died.

Does 'dad' now bears 'she'? Bloke, get the right education.

End time tinz

it depends on the tone you use,, if u ask it in igbo '' chai gini gbuziri ya'' it sounds respectful nd pitiful,, rather than wen u say somtin like ''wetin kom kil am na''

The truth abt d question is dt it all depends on d person been asked and d nature of d dead person......I don't c anytin rong in asking such question only if d person does not know abt d dead person.....

You know nigerians love hypocrisy like their life depends on it.if the circumstances surrounding the death of the person is controversial,people will feel uncomfortable to say such especially if he or she died during a s3x romp or thunderbolt killed the person.however if its that the person died at an old age or the person died of a particular sickness like cancer,stroke or hypertension.however if its the former,nigerians will be uncomfortable to say 'oko dido or obo dido lo pa.since everyone likes feigning disgust and discomfort in public when the issue of s3x arises as if they dont engage in it themselves