Tgal lease take this down. And why will you push this to front page without asking for my opinion? And if it was any other MOD then I demand that this be taken down with immediate alacrity. I don't want it on FP.

^^^^ When will you complete the story?

Are u sure u didn't want tu put this topic on Diary section?

Please remove this from front page.

What is the drastic decision you want to take concerning a girl who sees you as an ATM?

You said/wrote that if you turn her down she does not complain but you sense discontent.

If you ask anyone for anything and you are turned down, you will be discontent na. It is a normal feeling.
The habit of you continuing to give her money (you do not have) is not a good one and you would do well to reduce it.

And on the issue of her being with you cos she is proud that you are doing your masters, I don't know but it seems hard to believe. The friends might just be jealous that she has a guy with a good personality. Considering that she must have been asked out by guys who are already working and have cash to throw around (judging from your description of her)

just relax with the spending a bit and see what happens then. That's when you can make a decision.

Goodluck, a little Patience and lots of fresh to you

Guitarlife: My girl does not see anything wrong in demanding for money from me. We started dating officially in April but prior to that she has asked for money from me which I always slyly turn down. I have observed her very well and it seems she has this orientation that the man should be fully responsible for the financial burden of the wife. I am not saying she is wrong but. When a lady is not ashamed and sees it as a right for her to demand money from her boyfriend then that is a thing to be bothered about. Moreover, I am just rounding up a masters programme(which has been stalled by the ASUU strike anyway) and I spending a lot on defence and stuffs. And I am not yet working so I would have expected her to show a bit of restraint in making any financial demands. I have studied her thoroughly and I think her pattern of thought about this isuue is kinda intransigent becos I have tried everything thing within power to make her understand that I am also dependent on my pops for survival for now and she can see that I do not indulge in any form of frivolous expenditure. But it seems her outlook on this issue is largely shaped on the popular belief these days that it is the responsibility of the boyfriend to shoulder the needs of his girlfriend.
For the records, I pick the bills when we go out on dates and she has never offered to offset any bill. Be it taxi fare or eating out.
For the records too, We do not indulge in any type of sexual immorality like kissing, smooching or s*ex.
This was the main reason I left my previous girlfriends to be with her cos they always put pressure on me for sex.But my present girlfriend does not which is what I always wanted and becos she is a virgin.
Everytime she asks me for money and I refuse she always allow it to go but I can sense a feeling of discontent within her.
As it is now, I am like a trophy for her amidst her circle of friends cos it seems she is the only one lucky to have hooked up a postgrad student on a relationship.
I can literAlly cut the air of pride around her when she is with me amidst her friends with a knife.
I am now a bit disturbed that her decision to continue dating me might have nothing to do with the love she has for me but the respect she is able to get amidst her friends for dating a 'big boy'. Lest I forget, she comes from a humble background too . Her parents are both secondary school teachers with 6 children to cater for.I am sorry my write up is kinda disjointed. Its cos I am typing from a phone.
I need matured family section posters to take their time and disect my post in order to advice me correectly before I take a drastic decison.Thank you.

Well here lies the genesis of her incessant demands. The lady needs support as much as you want her to understand you same way you need to understand her. Explain to her that you wish you had the cash to help her out but you are just like her- a student, and your daddy finances you so you barely have spare cash for her. The little you can do is sponsor dates and taxi fare beyond that you cannot afford "taking care of her" in the way and manner she is expecting.

This is a simple matter after this she may become disillusioned but hey it is what it is.

Please take this down.

I read the little chat you posted but she now wants you buying Aso-ebi? Okay you need to back down and assess the situation here bro. Are you ready for what you are about to get into?

Please remove from front page.

Guitarlife: You seem to be getting my drift. I am waiting to resume at a decent job shortly after having my medicals last month and due to the industry the job falls into, I will be compelled to overall my wardrobe when called a fact she herself is very well aware of. That should explain the 5 pieces of suit part of my response to her and I am surprised she didn't even show any concern nor sympathy regarding the shortfall in the amount required of me to set up my wardrobe. She was so fixated on getting money for herself. To me, that appeared selfish and inconsiderate.

Why are you over analyzing this gal and looking for faults if she is doing something you are not comfortable with just tell her!

Guitarlife: You seem to be getting my drift. I am waiting to resume at a decent job shortly after having my medicals last month and due to the industry the job falls into, I will be compelled to overall my wardrobe when called a fact she herself is very well aware of. That should explain the 5 pieces of suit part of my response to her and I am surprised she didn't even show any concern nor sympathy regarding the shortfall in the amount required of me to set up my wardrobe. She was so fixated on getting money for herself. To me, that appeared selfish and inconsiderate.

If you ask me, from the chat you posted, she did not appear insensitive at all. Look when you are in a relationship and you are close to your partner, you tend to share everything with the person.

She told you of what problems she has and that does not completely mean that she was you to solve them. She seems ke she just wants to talk to you about it hence her saying, "I will find somewhere else to get it". I'd expect you to ask her where that "somewhere" else is and also ask her to explain to her mum her situation.

Try to emphasise with her more instead of offering monetary assistance as she might just be looking for a friend in you who will listen to her and tell he everything is going to be fine.

Now you also need to realise that what I wrote above might be false and she might have been asking you for money. It can be both ways

God save us from selfish and stingy men . . Amen!

Please remove from front page.

I am the OP and I did not intend for this to be on front page.

@Guitarlife,

You need to sit down to assess properly what you want in a lady and how you want your future home to be. You need to also evaluate weakness you can live with in a lady as well as the limit you can stand a particular weakness. Nobody can do all these for you except you.

For a girl being a virgin does not mean she has got all moral values correctly. It only shows she has at the moment sense of sexu-al decency.

In as much as sexu-al purity is important in connecting a girl for relationship, the qualities and what you must check are not limited to it. Does she have a teachable heart? Is she an understanding fellow? How does she treat others especially those perceived to be of lower status than her? Is she godly or just religious? What influences her decision making process? What are her life's ambitions, visions and purpose?

These questions and many more are what you need to ask. I may not be able to offer any advice based on the little you wrote about her here but I know that her attitude towards money needs a re-appraisal. Even if a person was raised by the poorest of men on earth, nobody has the right to turn another to money making machine especially when you know he is not in a good position to spend.

You need to talk to her about her attitude to money if that is the only negative you see. If she continues this way, she will want to always be part of the jonesses and this will drain your pocket. Have a serious discussion with her on this issue to finding a way forward.

It is well with you....

Ujujoan: God save us from selfish and stingy men . . Amen!

Orunmila save us from ladies who think their BF is their fadas AMEN!!!

As far as I'm concerned, there is no big deal here. If she ask you for something and you can afford it, do it for her and if on the other hand, you can't afford it, then, tell her that you would have wished to do it, but that you can't afford it. If she want to because of that leave you, then, let her, yours who won't see you as ATM will come your way.
One thing I'm even thinking is, if she can be so demanding when you are not yet working, how will it be when you start working and she's aware of your fat salary?
You need to think very well on this your issue o.
May God help you.

for the next one month, don't spend for on her (except on d normal small recharge cards, and bills wen u guys go out. etc) let us see wether she will threaten to leave u or not....if she threatens to leave u cos u couldn't spend on her, guy free her o.

Futhermore, in d next 3weeks, make a call to her and tell how u are too broke, down to ur last penny, beg her to pls send u money, even if it is 2k, that u will really appreciate it. Let's see whether she can bare to send her guy money.

About the virginity stuff, u neva can be too sure o, she could be a V and she may not be, bt u neva can be too sure abt gals nowadays o, most of them always say they are Vs just to make d guy like the better (mostly young gals stil in uni sha), but wether she is a V or not shud not cloud ur judgement, a virgin is not different frm a non-virgin, afterall in d long-run, it is not the virginity that matters bt the character and personality of the gal.

Accordin to my friend Segun, when a woman tells u she is a Virgin, have it in ur mind as 50/50 until u see and confirm it, afterall, seeing is believing.

Did u think b4 that because she is a virgin, she must be a good gal...? She is not different from all those other gals that are not virgins o!!!

Please remove this from front page.

Please mods remove this from front page. I am the OP and I do not want it on front page.

From my point of view d girl is in need of money and she doesn't have someone else to turn to. She wanted to know if u can help her. If u truly love u won't be tabling this mild issue here.

Guitarlife: Thanks everybody for ur contribution @ @abo5. please note that she is away at home now with her parents. We have not seen each other physically for more than two months now. So she practically wants me who is in school to send money to her at home.

In Tpain's voice,

"Welcome to the good life"

Guitarlife: God bless you for this post. You seem to understand my fears. I expect a lady to have what I call a sense of pride. What if she was not dating anybody at this time what would she have done ? Where would she have gone too ? All in a bid to acquire something I personally see as luxury.
The my mom part is what got to me post, when the mom knows she is neither married nor working. Which kinda family will I be marrying into. For petes sakes this is her own very elder sister getting married. This is just extreme and I had to hear other peoples opinion before I make a decision.

You cannot be too sure her mum told her that, please do not judge the parents based on her story. she may be telling you lies to get the balance from you. Her mum may also have given her the complete money but looking for more from you. You have to be sure of the family before drawing a conclusion.

It may also be that the mum told her what she could afford and your girl later responded she can get the balance from you or another uncle.. Until you are sure the mum told her to find the balance can you be skeptical about the parents.

Have you met the parents before?

X

When you complete your 'nneka the beautiful girl novel for primary 3 pupils' let me know

Guitarlife: Nope I haven't met the parents before.

In that case, you have to assume the girl told a lie here. No morally upright parent will tell a girl in that age bracket to find money from any means. Not even in this period with bad stories.

Meet them first to understand their person before drawing conclusion. Else you commit slander.

kulyie: When you complete your 'nneka the beautiful girl novel for primary 3 pupils' let me know

Wikid

I agree with Ab025 about decreasing your spending on her to see her reaction.

Guitarlife: Thanks everybody for ur contribution @ @abo5. please note that she is away at home now with her parents. We have not seen each other physically for more than two months now. So she practically wants me who is in school to send money to her at home.

Damn, that's cray. You ain't her Daddy, neither are you her hubby. She's right there at home where her family & relatives are, and she's asking you who's miles away. If she knew she would find the solution elsewhere, why'd she ask you in the first place? She knows you're also trying to make ends meet for yourself, smh.

Ujujoan: God save us from selfish and stingy men . . Amen!

*kneels down next to her with hands held high*











Amen

Guitarlife: Thanks everybody for ur contribution @ @abo5. please note that she is away at home now with her parents. We have not seen each other physically for more than two months now. So she practically wants me who is in school to send money to her at home.

Guy, the way I see dis ur r/ship with dis gal, this is my view:

1. She is frm a not-well to do family (a bit poor)
2. She always put all her financial problems on u.
3. She may be into u, but I doubt whether she luvs u
4. She will keep on askin for money frm u and d day ur money finish or wen u refuse to giv her again, her interest in u will die.
5. U may eventually loose out financially in d project and defence of ur masters programme if u don't save d little money frm ur popsy.
6. Have u ever given a thought towards where ur relationship wit this gal is leadin to, I mean, wud u really want to make her ur wifee 2moro ....?
7. From my observation, I dnt tink u know why u luv dis gal becos u need to know ur reasons
8. Are u in luv wit her because she is a virgin (not yet confirmd sha) or because of her personality?

Bros, think well o b4 u throw away all d money ur dad gave u for ur masters programme on ur galfriend.

Initially, i didn't want to reply but i decided to do so. Don't take this too personal but you sound stingy. I personally believe that a lady should pay her own way. However, there is nothing wrong in you showing her empathy. You want her to empathize with you but you are not doing the same for her. I know you are not married or anything but i have seen guys that are in love and are commited to a relationship. If you had said that you will give her 2k out of the money you have but she got angry, i would have understood with you and seen your point of view.

You need to stop over-analyzing her and just accept her statements at face value. I did not see anything wrong in what she said. I think you should do it step by step as well. Buy 2 suits now and then some later when you get paid.