It does matter for sure. One of
the things we did for the book is interview
men and women across the country, and we
asked men: what are the things you first
notice about women? One thing they
brought up often is clothing; depending on
the guy of course, he’s not going to notice
labels or trends or anything like that [but]
dressing yourself is a little bit like personal
branding. It does say a lot about who you
are.
If he hasn’t talked to you yet, and is just
looking at your photos on a dating profile, or
from across the room, he uses clothing to
determine if he might like you and if you
might get along.
Does it go both ways? Or are just men
eyeballing women’s fashion choices?
The “metrosexual” has died down a bit, but
women do want men who have personal
style. It doesn’t have to be a certain type of
personal style, per se, but [women] do want
someone who knows how to dress, who has
some kind of aesthetic for himself that
[shows off] what his personality is.
So for people who don’t follow fashion
closely, will their date’s clothing have
an effect?
Another thing that we’ve learned in studying
this and talking about this is that one of the
ways to instantly make yourself more
attractive and more presentable to other
people is your clothing. It’s not so much what
label or what trend, but that they fit well,
and what state your clothes are in. People
look more confident and more put together
in clothes that fit them. That seems self-
explanatory and obvious, but there are some
people who just don’t put any thought into
what they wear on first dates.
Why do you think the fit and appearance
of clothing is so impactful?
These are the changeable parts of your
appearance—you can’t easily change your
body shape, but your clothing choice is
something you can definitely alter. Personal
style is branding: what you wear does
determine the type of person that
you’re going to attract.
If you naturally have sort of a hipster-y
Williamsburg style, and you wear Lily Pulitzer
on a date, it’s not going to attract the kind of
person you want. And this is a little obvious,
but the other thing clothing really affects is
how you present yourself and how you feel.
It’s not about the actual piece of clothing,
but about how confident you feel and how
you carry yourself in something that you feel
special in and proud of.
What are some of the most common
mistakes you’ve seen people make when
choosing their dating attire?
Something that often comes up is high heels
for women. Women either totally love heels
and may never be seen without them, or
they hate them and never wear them. But
sometimes they’ll try to alter that to fit a
guy’s height. Sometimes they wear flats on
the first date because they’re worried about
being taller than their date; but it’s really
just about how awesome you feel. It’s not like
he’s going to grow if you keep dating him, so
just wear your heels! If you do wear heels,
though, make sure it’s not a super active
date. Make sure you know what you’re doing
ahead of time.
Any other words of wisdom when
choosing an outfit?
It’s hard to dictate specific maxims, but try to
stay away from anything overly offensive or
political. [Guys,] don’t wear a T-shirt with a
cheesy slogan on it, though there are certain
girls who love that. It’s important to show up
looking pressed and clean as though you’ve
put thought into the outfit. Try to dress to
match the occasion: more formal for an
evening date, but if it’s a daytime date, keep
it casual. Guys seem to universally love
anything a woman would wear as long as she
puts thought into it and wears it with
purpose.
And what are some things ladies like?
CA: If you’re trying to date a more fashion-
conscious woman—most women in
metropolitan areas tend to be a little bit
more fashion-conscious—shoes are big. Don’t
go with New Balance sneakers and jeans.
Guys will sometimes go to great lengths to
wear a shirt, nice pressed pants, do their
hair, and then completely forget that shoes
are a part of the outfit. Also, I’ve never really
been much of a fan of the short-sleeved
button down.
What are some ways guys can quickly
and easily pick up some style tips?
Start to look at other guys’ outfits; it doesn’t
come that naturally to guys, but if you’re out
and you see something you like, take a
moment to notice what he’s wearing and how
he put himself together. Have your sister
take you shopping. It’s okay to wear
sneakers, but make sure they’re not just
normal athletic sneakers
. Also, style doesn’t have to be effeminate,
and it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable,
especially nowadays.