I wouldn't talk much,I want to.start a big fund management business in Nigeria this month because I think I can.
Afterall,I have paid my dues,I helped,one "consultant",Mr.Gbenga Akinola raise massive amount(I wouldn't like to brag) for Zenith bank in the international market before its merger.I have constantly being on the brink of getting into the business scene and solving big problems for all types of firms.But I was constantly blocked by Mr.Gbenga because I depended on him.I worked for him.He paid me peanuts and ran away with my large chunk of cash when we closed a multi-billion naira deal.
I was expecting around N23m from him.He dissapeared.Thank God he didn't kill me.Now,I'm starting over again.I still have the knowledge to structure deals,find exceptional opportunities,raise big capital,manage the investments and effecting an exit as efficiently as possible.
I don't have an MBA.I'm.not even a graduate of business.,but I have been bent on.studying finance and investments from the greatest minds in the world and I am an investor.So,I have practical experience.I'm not rich so don't call me if you are not a seasoned investor.Because I want investment partners with deep pockets that are searching for fresh investment ideas.
I also want to work as a freelance consultant for firms that have seemingly impossible problems to solve.I can solve problems.Trust me.
If you can be an agent to bring opportunities for us....you can tell me here.
I am talking to one private equity firm and they are arranging to work with me....but they are delaying.They are considering the fact that I'm a Nigerian.They are saying"Are you for real?" .I'm jokingly telling them no.
This is my letter to them:

I'm Mr.Etiuwem Umoren.My title sounds like a hype but nobody knows the grand outcome of future financial happenstances.
You probably have recieved thousands of emails from people or organisations.
I want to be brief on this.
I am an auxilliary real estate broker and Investor.
I also like doing helping companies solve myriads of problems.Seemingly impossible problems.Aside from my profession,I'm bent on helping investment firms raise massive capital(I can help you raise $1billion or more,test me).I can help you discover new investment opportunities.I shall also 'supply' you with many good investment ideas with sound exits in your ventures.Trust me,I can make you astronomical sums that would seem impossible with my ideas.
I can work round the clock to solve other hidden and tricky problems of yours if you can make us work together.
You don't have to really call me by my name.Just call me My Problem Solver.I have raised capital,negotiate cost effective deals and help firms solve other problems,effective strategic exits,though they ended up cheating me.They,Zenith Bank,didn't pay me.I moved on.So,I would like to work with you not for you.In my philosophy,I know that all what the investment world call investments are not investments.The real investments stems from the stability in the degree of control of the investor.
The lesser the control an investor possesses,the more likely he gives up control to other astute investors.The degree to which you control an out-of-control investor,the greater your potential returns.I have more powerful investment ideas to relay that this platform won't contain.Till we talk.
Try me and find out if I underpromise and overdeliver.
You'll be surprised that I do.You don't have to believe all what I say,you just have to put me to test.Challenge me!
Upon all your billion dollar investments,I can be your best investment ever.
I'd like to know your level of interest ASAP.

....So if you think we should talk,Call me this week because i need few people to work with.
Your call may not be picked tomorrow.

Zero Eight One Zero One Five One Two Seven Five Eight.

goodluck

U gonna have to do more than this bro. You need to show proofs of ur claims. And if u r worth ur onions, then u should not have a need for 'deep pockets' as ur proposals will be worth more than ten deep pockets

I'm not surprised that you think like most of my fellow Nigerians.You suspect every business offers that's why you block yourself from opportunities.
I have integrity and I have been involved in a few ventures,if you don't have something posive to comment about,please mind your business.

Michael Jackson.Jnr:
I'm not surprised that you think like most of my fellow Nigerians.You suspect every business offers that's why you block yourself from opportunities.
I have integrity and I have been involved in a few ventures,if you don't have something posive to comment about,please mind your business.

bro im not trying to tackle u or sometin. Actually i was givin u an advice, whch perhaps u didnt get. Its simple submit business proposals, defend them, get contracts, n make d dough. N of course im like 'other' Nigerians but if ur other meant d notjustok other, then my friend u r wrng. BTW i was actuay considerin callin bt its best i dnt

Nice write up. Though you need to show proof of your ability to deliver. How do I get in touch with you?

Everything he said is fishy and the Investment world don't operate as it paints it...

First, i put it to you that you bring out evidence that you worked with Gbenga Akinola, also you should have annual reports of those years...
Then to raise 100billion in Nigeria or anywhere in Africa is a pipe-dream, most of our Billionaires are debtors and even if they have such funds, they still have investment's ideas to pursue on their own and not giving someone to manage for them and just be getting commision Year-on-year..

Wake up Bro!

I believe you can and surely you can. But keep watch on your integrity.

Bro, this is nairaland and anything that happens here is every body's business. Investment is more than just a write up. Everybody loses money home and abroad, you need more to convince someone to invest in whatever you bring to the table. I mean you need real evident testimonies not just stories anyone can't relate to

Michael Jackson.Jnr:
I'm not surprised that you think like most of my fellow Nigerians.You suspect every business offers that's why you block yourself from opportunities.
I have integrity and I have been involved in a few ventures,if you don't have something posive to comment about,please mind your business.

Michael Jackson.Jnr, I had a good read through your write-up and can see some sound professionalism in the details. I wish you the best of deals.
We are finance brokers and get briefs regularly.
What I want to find out from you is if you can help source N350m for one of our clients. He needs this money for business expansion.
have the company's profile available for your perusal and other details for the processing of the loan.
Revert pls.
Our email add: cosmosynergy2@gmail.com
Tx.

Another f*cktard from Yaba left, he probably thinks he's Michael Jackson's kid.., Ekwensu

I got 53m lying about in unappreciating real estate. I'll love to offload and invest with you.
Hope i'm welcomed?
Hehehehe... Naija biggest joker.

This geezer is on some big isssh. To start with why don't you go knock on adenugas door or try dangote for
Size.
You a brain check mate.

I'm not surprised that you people are doubtful of my venture.Nigeria is a country peopled by scammers,hoodlums and double-crossers.Nobody can spot a credible person.I'm not actually claiming to be one.That's why I jokingly tell people that I'm a scammer.I expect this bad comments,and ironically,I deserve it,but it's making me to develope the perception that nairaland is not for business and deal making.I choose not to apportion blame to people that post negative comments because I am also a pessimist myself because of the country I'm biologically plunged in.
So,I encourage people to say their mind,good or bad,and it won't stop me from pushing on to achieving my dreams.I don't expect everybody to believe what I say because it's too grand a goal.Raising N100b from investors is even hard for Nigerian govt.But,I hope i make it a possibility.Sometimes I do criticize myself for setting such a goal,so why shouldn't people criticize?.In fact,I expect only one out of 100 to believe in my venture because only 1% of investors are eligible to invest in this sort of venture.
Actually,I'm on the brink of raising capital for my fund so let cynics continue criticizing.I am working of employing the skills of Goldman Sach as advisors.....the best advisors in the world.
So,if you are not an investor or someone that can bring investors,you can criticize.Contribute.If you don't invest,criticize.You are contributing.I have raised N7.8m for now from three investors,these people contributed money to make money.You can abuse,spit on me,pee on me,laugh at me if you don't invest.I will thank you and remember you.I'll still be a friend.I won't be annoyed.I'll understand.I also doubt some other ventures because I'm not sure of them.So,I thank you all for your comments,good or bad,and I also respect your attention

Mr man, all we need is solid proof of all u say u can do, abi u no get am

Proofs are not said but seen.A seasonal investor shoufn't be asking this question.You just have someone asking you to invest in his fund snd you are asking for proofs online.If you want proofs,call me for a meeting,Ask me my proofs,meet my partnerd
s in established and well-known firms like Skyline Investment group.Meet your financial planners to evaluate my investment opportunity.Then,invest. For anyone who doesn't need only 'proofs',but is willing to invest or act as agents who can bring others to invest,call Zero Eight One Zero One Five One Two Seven Five Eight.

I live in Port harcourt and sometimes in Uyo but we can meet anywhere if you are a serious investor.

I stand a better chance raising money for my startup: infiniteworkers (www.infiniteworkers.co.uk)

Welcome