As I settled in to play on a beautiful sunday morning, I noticed that I had a message on my BB. My first instinct was to ignore it, but then I felt it vibrate (I have been pinged). This is how the conversation went between Sarah (not real name) and I.

Sarah- Aisha are you there?

Me- Yes. How far?

Sarah- I am so angry right now

Me (drops game pad) What happened?

Sarah- My husband is pissing me off bad

Me- (smiles) Kpele. Don’t mind him. Men were born to piss us off. Just take it easy

Sarah- Can he imagine? His mother is coming to visit.

Me- ehhhhh……………okkkkk

Me- Sorry, coming to visit or coming to live with you guys?

Sarah- Coming to visit and stay for a while of course. Come and live with us ke? Is she mad?

Me- Babes. That’s your husband’s mother. The mad bit is not cool. Do you guys have bad blood or something? How long is she coming to stay for?

Sarah- Does it matter how long? Why would she come and stay with us at all?

Me- Because she is his mother?

Sarah- And so? I am his wife!!

Me (now I am starting to lose my patience) Babes, are you comparing yourself to his mother? Stop that o. Your husband’s mother is not someone you want to offend o. You have been married for only two years. I don’t care if she is the devil incarnate. You have to tread softly because she is still his mother.

Sarah- Well, my mother doesn’t come and stay with us. Why should his??

Me- Babes. Your mother came to stay with you when you put to bed.

Sarah- that’s different

Me- (patience exhausted) Babe…..Ok What has your mother in law done? Just tell me the worst thing. You don’t have to go into all the details.

Sarah- She hasn’t done anything per se. You know me. You know I no dey take nonsense. It’s just that she is always so cold to me, she is always calling her son everyday. I would tell him to do something. He would ask his mother and she would suggest something else and he would do that. They are too close for my comfort and it is irritating me. Secrets he should share with me first, he would go and tell his mother first….

Me- So he is a mama boy?

Sarah- not really, but he puts her first before me.

Me- I don’t think so. Like my husband says. Mother and wife has different places in a man’s life and only a stupid man would allow a situation where they would clash. First of all, na she born am, na she raise am. If she hadn’t made him the man he is today, you won’t have married him. Unless she is doing some Patience Ozokwor things, I think you should chill out.

Sarah- Really, you are not helping me. I thought you were a blogger and can give advice

Me- Sorry. No vex. Not a certified advise giver. what exactly do you want to hear? Keep fighting your husband until he says his mother is not coming again Babe, don’t ruin your young marriage na.

Sarah- so what am I supposed to do?

Me- Same thing your husband did when your mother came over. Smile, grind your teeth and be the sweetest that you can be. Be charming and hospitable and all that jazz.

Sarah- You mean do ‘eye service’

Me- EXACTLY

Sarah- why?

Me- BECAUSE NA IM MAMA

Sarah- If I okay his mother coming, then the next thing, his aunty would come. then all his sisters and his brothers……..
Me- Babe, you no get case. We are Nigerians. We value extended family. We may not always like it or them, but the fact remains you gats treat your husband’s people well.

Sarah- so I should turn a fool for them

Me- Who said anything about you turning a fool for anyone? I am not saying you should allow anyone disrespect you in your matrimonial home, but when it comes to his mother, nothing wrong in playing the fool for a bit, as long as she doesn’t abuse it. You have said she is only cold towards you. Who knows? She may change whatever opinions she has about you. You make his mother your biggest fan and you would have a great marriage.

Sarah- I have heard you.
Me- Cool. Can I blog about it?

Sarah- Whatever.

Me- You dey vex for me?

Sarah- Not really

Me- I will take that as a No. So I blog?

Sarah- yeah yeah

Me- Cool. Now relax and be a good daughter in law (continues my Dolph Ziggler versus Randy Orton match. I am yet to figure the ‘how to break a submission hold’ control)
me and my husband
A lot of women like to have their husbands to themselves. They want to become the most important person in their lives. Some even use the bible passage of a man leaving his parents and clinging on to his wife to buttress their point. The fact is that he had a life before you, a mother, a father, siblings, relations, friends. He should not have to choose, same way you would hate it if you are made to choose between your family and your husband. I believe that they operate on different levels and shouldn’t clash in any way. Sure your immediate family is paramount, but your extended is equally important especially in a society as ours. You cannot practice ‘Me and my husband” Alienating your husband’s people is one of the greatest mistake any wife can make.

That’s my two cents on the matter. Drop a line. Do you agree that she is suffering from ‘me and my husband’ syndrome or is she being rightly precautious?

Do I agree that she is suffering from ‘me and my husband’ syndrome? Nope.
I think she is very and totally convinced that ALL mother in-laws are devils out to destroy their sons' marriages. She said her mother in-law is cold to her. What example did she give? For 2 years your MIL has been "cold" to you and you have not seen reason to try warm that relationship up? Then you must really believe the woman to be out to get you.
That is what she thinks. She is of the opinion that all members of her husband's family are looking for opportunity to throw wrenches into her marriage - WITH NO REASON TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT. She just does.

My 2 cents, she should re-orient her mind or she will destroy her own peace herself

She is not suffering from clinging syndrome but ignorance and selfishness. She will grow to become a MIL tomorrow. She needs serious help because if she continues this way, her husband will soon get tired of the tantrums against his mother.

No wife should hate their MIL especially when there is no cause to. If her husband cannot share secrets with her, it shows that she is yet to earn her husband's trust. How will she even earn it when she is busy hating on his mother.

Ayee Idris

I can't say if she is or is not suffering from a ''me and my husband'' deficiency, but I sure did enjoy your write up and narrative it was fun to read.

"Sarah- She hasn’t done anything per se. You know me. You know I no dey take nonsense. It’s just that she is always so cold to me, she is always calling her son everyday. I would tell him to do something. He would ask his mother and she would suggest something else and he would do that. They are too close for my comfort and it is irritating me. Secrets he should share with me first, he would go and tell his mother first…."


It's kinda disrespectful to the wife for the husband to be consulting his mother every time the wife asks him to do something and he ends up doing whatever his mother says instead! Men who cannot let go of mommy's hands are a no-no. As a husband and a grown man, he should be able to make decisions together with his wife. You're now in partnership with your wife and shouldn't be running back to your mama for everything you gotta do. Things like this always pop up while dating someone and if you know you're not happy with it, then maybe you need to re-evaluate where the r/ship is going. He didn't become a mama's boy overnight, most likely he has always been one and changing him won't be easy.

Yup!
Dem old folk need to STAY in their own HUSBANDS' homes!
Most of them fought POLYGAMOUS battles without winning the wars with their COMMUNAL PROP-TY ONE-QUARTER HUSBANDS.

Em misssserable BINTCHEZZZ can only feel sad when their daughters-in-law are h-enjoying marital bliss!!!!

If at all ANY mother-in-law should live with her child, IT MUST NOT BE WITH A SON!!!! She should move in with her daughter only!!! If she has only sons like BILLIONAIRE ALAKIJA, too bad!!!

Let her move into a geriatric facility or die in her POLYGAMOUS KIBBUTZ!!!

Simple!!!!!

LewsTherin: Do I agree that she is suffering from ‘me and my husband’ syndrome? Nope.
I think she is very and totally convinced that ALL mother in-laws are devils out to destroy their sons' marriages. She said her mother in-law is cold to her. What example did she give? For 2 years your MIL has been "cold" to you and you have not seen reason to try warm that relationship up? Then you must really believe the woman to be out to get you.
That is what she thinks. She is of the opinion that all members of her husband's family are looking for opportunity to throw wrenches into her marriage - WITH NO REASON TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT. She just does.

My 2 cents, she should re-orient her mind or she will destroy her own peace herself

I may have agreed with you if her fear didn't extend to his siblings and his relations. There is a saying that when everyone hates (dislikes) you, you are likely the problem. If she has no reason to believe that her husband's people are out to get her with no apparent reason, then it is likely she wants to keep the husband to herself. However, I am merely speculating. Thanks though. I appreciate your view point.

sihom: Ayee Idris

I can't say if she is or is not suffering from a ''me and my husband'' deficiency, but I sure did enjoy your write up and narrative it was fun to read.

Thank you

Yield: "Sarah- She hasn’t done anything per se. You know me. You know I no dey take nonsense. It’s just that she is always so cold to me, she is always calling her son everyday. I would tell him to do something. He would ask his mother and she would suggest something else and he would do that. They are too close for my comfort and it is irritating me. Secrets he should share with me first, he would go and tell his mother first…."


It's kinda disrespectful to the wife for the husband to be consulting his mother every time the wife asks him to do something and he ends up doing whatever his mother says instead! Men who cannot let go of mommy's hands are a no-no. As a husband and a grown man, he should be able to make decisions together with his wife. You're now in partnership with your wife and shouldn't be running back to your mama for everything you gotta do. Things like this always pop up while dating someone and if you know you're not happy with it, then maybe you need to re-evaluate where the r/ship is going. He didn't become a mama's boy overnight, most likely he has always been one and changing him won't be easy.

It depends on the relationship he and his mother share. If a mother and son has an exceptional close bond, me as a wife shouldn't expect the bond to lessen because I am in the picture. In fact, I am supposed to take advantage of the bond by making his mother my person. U don see situation where you offended your husband and his mother is saying , 'no, you couldn't have done that. You are not the type' or telling the son that he must have done something to provoke you. That is the type of relationship I am striving for with my MIL no matter how much butt I have to kiss to achieve it.

Ayee Idris:

It depends on the relationship he and his mother share. If a mother and son has an exceptional close bond, me as a wife shouldn't expect the bond to lessen because I am in the picture. In fact, I am supposed to take advantage of the bond by making his mother my person. U don see situation where you offended your husband and his mother is saying , 'no, you couldn't have done that. You are not the type' or telling the son that he must have done something to provoke you. That is the type of relationship I am striving for with my MIL no matter how much butt I have to kiss to achieve it.

You are making sense.

Ayee Idris:

It depends on the relationship he and his mother share. If a mother and son has an exceptional close bond, me as a wife shouldn't expect the bond to lessen because I am in the picture. In fact, I am supposed to take advantage of the bond by making his mother my person. U don see situation where you offended your husband and his mother is saying , 'no, you couldn't have done that. You are not the type' or telling the son that he must have done something to provoke you. That is the type of relationship I am striving for with my MIL no matter how much butt I have to kiss to achieve it.

Ah, you have the naija mentality. No one's saying the bond should lesson because the wife's in the picture. I'm not a fan of a husband running to his mother when it comes to making decisions. Nonsense. Some mothers themselves have a hard time letting go of their married sons. Why in the world is she calling him every day? Is he a child that needs to be checked up on every day? You said the wife should make the mother like her. It could be that the MIL herself isn't a fan of the wife, perhaps because he now has another woman in his life and is afraid of losing him to her, which's probably why she calls him often. I've seen a real life story of this, so it surely does happen. There're likely many factors contributing to the situation. I think all three of them have a role to play and have all contributed to the situation one way or another.

The wife should speak with her husband and let him know how she feels, as well as make whatever changes she needs to make. Nonetheless, the husband needs to set boundaries with his mother, lovingly. He is the man here and the one who can ultimately help turn things around. As an adult, he should know that the constant communication with his mother and his mother's interference, especially with regards to his marriage cannot be healthy for him and his independence, nor for his mother's, and definitely not for his marriage. Unless he is a child who cannot reason well, he should know this. He is the one who needs to set boundaries. He shouldn't be doing everything his mother says, discounting his wife's opinions. He should've gotten married to his mother if he knew he didn't need his wife.

Yield:

Ah, you have the naija mentality. No one's saying the bond should lesson because the wife's in the picture. I'm not a fan of a husband running to his mother when it comes to making decisions. Nonsense. Some mothers themselves have a hard time letting go of their married sons. Why in the world is she calling him every day? Is he a child that needs to be checked up on every day? You said the wife should make the mother like her. It could be that the MIL herself isn't a fan of the wife, perhaps because he now has another woman in his life and is afraid of losing him to her, which's probably why she calls him often. I've seen a real life story of this, so it surely does happens. There're likely many factors contributing to the situation. I think all three of them have a role to play and have all contributed to the situation one way or another.

The wife should speak with her husband and let him know how she feels, as well as make whatever changes she needs to make. Nonetheless, the husband needs to set boundaries with his mother, lovingly. He is the man here and the one who can ultimately help turn things around. As an adult, he should know that the constant communication with his mother and his mother's interference, especially with regards to his marriage cannot be healthy for him and his independence, nor for his mother's, and definitely not for his marriage. Unless he is a child who cannot reason well, he should know this. He is the one who needs to set boundaries. He shouldn't be doing everything his mother says, discounting his wife's opinions. He should've gotten married to his mother if he knew he didn't need his wife.

Eh......I am a Nigerian. I should have a 'Naija' mentality. I would like to think I have common sense more than a mentality. As a married woman myself, I don't care if my husband's mother calls him everyday. She raised him. She probably misses him. She can call him as often as she likes. Heavens forbid that I raise a child and d wife doesn't like how often I call him. Why should he set boundaries for his mother? I would not want my husband interfering with my relationship with my parents and vice versa. Why would u conclude he doesn't need his wife cos he shares a close bond with his mother? Who knows? The mother probably gives better advice than the the iyawo. Should he ignore it? The mother isn't even holding obvious beef with the wife or causing friction except in d imagination of d wifey.

Ayee Idris:

Eh......I am a Nigerian. I should have a 'Naija' mentality. I would like to think I have common sense more than a mentality. As a married woman myself, I don't care if his husband's mother calls him everyday. She raised him. She probably misses him. She can call him as often as she likes. Heavens forbid that I raise a child and d wife doesn't like how often I call him. Why should he set boundaries for his mother? I would not want my husband interfering with my relationship with my parents and vice versa. Why would u conclude he doesn't need his wife cos he shares a close bond with his mother? Who knows? The mother probably gives better advice than the the iyawo. Should he ignore it? The mother isn't even holding obvious beef with the wife or causing friction except in d imagination of d wifey.

wait until ur beloved husband starts to disregard all ur advice for his mother's. especially wen it concerns ur future or worse ur kids. dnt get mad wen u eventually become a side log n don't have a voice in ur own home. jux say 'his mother gives a better advice than me'

Yield:

Ah, you have the naija mentality.

Nonetheless, the husband needs to set boundaries with his mother, lovingly.

He is the man here and the one who can ultimately help turn things around. As an adult, he should know that the constant communication with his mother and his mother's interference, especially with regards to his marriage cannot be healthy for him and his independence, nor for his mother's, and definitely not for his marriage. Unless he is a child who cannot reason well, he should know this.

He is the one who needs to set boundaries.

He shouldn't be doing everything his mother says, discounting his wife's opinions.

He should've gotten married to his mother if he knew he didn't need his wife.

You keeping yapping all about setting boundaries, for my own mother?

Are you kidding me?

So if I mistakenly marry a woman like you, my mum cannot call me everyday? Or she needs permission from you to speak to me?
You will probably divorce me or refuse to give me sex right?

What is wrong with women these days?
So when you raise your sons to adulthood, and they get married, it is right to say according to you, that is the end of you in their lives?

You will never call them unless they call you, and you will expect your DIL to alienate you from your son right?

Your post reeks of gross immaturity & lack of objectivity.

Babynwan:

wait until ur beloved husband starts to disregard all ur advice for his mother's. especially wen it concerns ur future or worse ur kids. dnt get mad wen u eventually become a side log n don't have a voice in ur own home. jux say 'his mother gives a better advice than me'

In as much as I don't support him cross checking with mum for her opinion on how to run the house, I won't mind asking my mum for advice if she knows better than US on such issue.

Do you discard the bucket after you used the water in it? Be objective

If every woman thinks about wedging a wall between mother & son when they get married, then no wonder we have continuous unnecessary battle for supremacy between mother & daughters in-law.

If a woman comes into my life, to question the number of times I speak to my mum or how my mum should not come to my house on short visits , then I guess I have made an error of choice with such woman.

Ayee Idris:

Eh......I am a Nigerian. I should have a 'Naija' mentality. I would like to think I have common sense more than a mentality. As a married woman myself, I don't care if his husband's mother calls him everyday. She raised him. She probably misses him. She can call him as often as she likes. Heavens forbid that I raise a child and d wife doesn't like how often I call him. Why should he set boundaries for his mother? I would not want my husband interfering with my relationship with my parents and vice versa. Why would u conclude he doesn't need his wife cos he shares a close bond with his mother? Who knows? The mother probably gives better advice than the the iyawo. Should he ignore it? The mother isn't even holding obvious beef with the wife or causing friction except in d imagination of d wifey.

You are missing the bigger picture, lady. Of course, she can call her son, but calling him everyday is not healthy, like I've said. And it is not normal. She might as well pack her things and come and live in their home since she cannot do without her son. Ironically, your friend's MIL is coming to stay with them for a while too, she just might end up not leaving the house, poor wife. Men, love and respect your mother, always. But once you're married, be a man and have your own life. You have a wife. Communicate with her. When it comes to things pertaining your marriage, don't go running to your mama each time and doing what she says instead, while ignoring your wife's own point of view, like the husband in this case is doing. Mama's boy, pfftt, cut the damn cord already.

Royal Roy:

You keeping yapping all about setting boundaries, for my own mother?

Are you kidding me?

So if I mistakenly marry you, my mum cannot call me everyday? You wl probably divorce me or refuse to give me sex right?

What is wrong with women these days?
So when you raise your sons to adulthood, and they get married, it is right to say according to you, that is the end of you in their lives?

You will never call them unless they call you, and you will expect your DIL to alienate you from your son right?

Your post reeks of gross immaturity & lack of objectivity.

Here's someone who needs to grow a pair. Oh geez, nowhere did I say the relationship between the mother and the son should stop because he's now married. Do you have a comprehension problem? Let me guess, you're one of those grown little men who still needs mommy to pick out his clothes for him in the morning, right? What's immature about me saying a man should be A MAN. It's funny, really fully that you're saying my post lacks objectivity, when it seems you clearly do not understand its meaning. I'm the one who's being objective here. You will not mistakenly marry a girl like me (how do you even mistakenly marry someone, boy?), because I will never go near a grown man who cannot add 4 + 4 without asking his mother first.

Yield:

You need to go back up & read your own comments & mine again & again maybe you will comprehend.

It is obvious you can't sustain a debate!

Really Unbealivable!!

Following.

Royal Roy:

In as much as I don't support him cross checking with mum for her opinion on how to run the house, I won't mind asking my mum for advice if she knows better than US on such issue.

Do you discard the bucket after you used the water in it? Be objective

If every woman thinks about wedging a wall between mother & son when they get married, then no wonder we have continuous unnecessary battle for supremacy between mother & daughters in-law.

If a woman comes into my life, to question the number of times I speak to my mum or how my mum should not come to my house on short visits , then I guess I have made an error of choice with such woman.

I reacted to dat post cos of one phrase 'his mum gives better advice than d iyawo' I am a great advocate of a man having a good relationship with his mum cos it goes a long way to show how he will treat his woman. I also believe MILs shud be close to the couple. As a matter of fact, I am so close to my MIL that my husband knws he is in trouble when we team up against him. regardless, a woman's home is her fortress. she shud come first in her husband's life n vice versa. mama has lived her life n shud leave us to live ours. that is not to say we can't go to her for advice but not to an extent where ur wife asks u to do something n u go run it by mommy who in turn suggests another and u do dat n disregard ur wife's opinion (recurrent). itz disrespect to ur partner. as a matter of fact, if u don't entirely agree with ur wife's advice n run it by mom, u shud bring her (mom) opinion back to ur wife as a suggestion not conclusion. The husband n wife shud be the decision makers not mother n son. no man will take it lightly if his wife disregards his opinion for her mother's.

Royal Roy:

You need to go back up & read your own comments & mine again & again maybe you will comprehend.

It is obvious you can't sustain a debate!

Really Unbealivable!!

LMAO! I wrote my response to you and you wrote me a few lines (as above) and I'm the one who can't sustain a debate? The irony! Check my posting history; I do not back down in debates. I don't deliberately come on NL looking for one, but if someone starts one with me, best believe I DO NOT BACK DOWN! As someone going into Law, trust me, this is my forte. Stop making accusations when you know you're the guilty one. What you wrote up there is not a response to my post. In fact, you said nothing. C'mon, write me a response, Royal Roy, and let's get this show goin'.

This should be on the front page. A lot of women need to learn from this. Many just put up unnecessary attitude towards their husband's family, Forgetting that one day the table is gonna turn round.

Kanwulia: Yup!
Dem old folk need to STAY in their own HUSBANDS' homes!
Most of them fought POLYGAMOUS battles without winning the wars with their COMMUNAL PROP-TY ONE-QUARTER HUSBANDS.

Em misssserable BINTCHEZZZ can only feel sad when their daughters-in-law are h-enjoying marital bliss!!!!

If at all ANY mother-in-law should live with her child, IT MUST NOT BE WITH A SON!!!! She should move in with her daughter only!!! If she has only sons like BILLIONAIRE ALAKIJA, too bad!!!

Let her move into a geriatric facility or die in her POLYGAMOUS KIBUTZ!!!

Simple!!!!!

Hehe.

Babynwan:

that is not to say we can't go to her for advice but not to an extent where ur wife asks u to do something n u go run it by mommy who in turn suggests another and u do dat n disregard ur wife's opinion (recurrent). .

I get your point & I quite agree with you 100% on the above.

Am only trying to point out to the other poster who made reference to "why a mother should be calling her son at all"!

Surely you don't go to your mother for every single decision concerning your immediate family, but calling a Man "mamma's boy" for having conversations with his mum frequently is just grossly unacceptable & unbelievable.

zeelo2014: This should be on the front page. A lot of women need to learn from this. Many just put up unnecessary attitude towards their husband's family, Forgetting that one day the table is gonna turn round.

Yes you are right. But sometimes front page brings kids with silly comments & all sorts to a good debatable thread.

Let matured minds thrash out the pros & cons here!

Yield:

LMAO! I wrote my response to you and you wrote me a few lines (as above) and I'm the one who can't sustain a debate? The irony! Check my posting history; I do not back down in debates. I don't deliberately come on NL looking for one, but if someone starts one with me, best believe I DO NOT BACK DOWN! As someone going into Law, trust me, this is my forte. Stop making accusations when you know you're the guilty one. What you wrote up there is not a response to my post. In fact, you said nothing. C'mon, write me a response, Royal Roy, and let's get this show goin'.

Oh yes, I have checked your posting history & I discovered you get insultive in your posts & arguments, hence my short reply to you.

I won't bring myself to that level with you.

Royal Roy:

Oh yes, I have checked your posting history & I discovered you get insultive in your posts & arguments, hence my short reply to you.

I won't bring myself to that level with you.

You're making excuses. If you know you cannot defend yourself, just say so. It's not fair for you to make that big assumption about me by one thread that you accidentally stumbled upon, but that's your cup of tea. If you've really seen my posts in totality, you would know I do not engage in stuff like that. It seems you know you cannot go toe to toe with me, just admit it.

Hmmmm

Too much of Nollywood has made most of us ladies to believe all mother-in-laws are witches.
You need to see me lecturing my friends when they say no relative of their husband can come stay with them. Heck, i'm not saying turn your home to extended family house but nobody knows the future, if the need arises, why should it be an issue? I know God is gonna give me a mother-in-law with correct balanced head, she's definitely gonna be my 2nd mother! She'll probably even be calling me everyday instead of the son....if she decides to come visit, it'll be like Christmas time in the house. Well, maybe because i was brought up with the 'do unto others what you want them to do unto you' spirit...I have 2 siblings (guys) and i know how i want their girlfriends/fiances/wives to treat me, i would definitely try and treat my sister-in-law the same way.

MAY GOD HELP US ALL!

Babynwan:

wait until ur beloved husband starts to disregard all ur advice for his mother's. especially wen it concerns ur future or worse ur kids. dnt get mad wen u eventually become a side log n don't have a voice in ur own home. jux say 'his mother gives a better advice than me'

Now you are over exaggerating. Like I wrote, his mother PROBABLY gives better advice than his wife......she is older and may be wiser. Of course, it will take a very foolish man to be rubbing it in his wife's face that he takes his mother's advice all the time. And it is only a foolish man that would ignore a better advice given by a wife to take a not so sound advice by his mother. I would assume the man weighed the options and considered his mother's better. Because, as a wife, no matter what advice you give your hubby, the choice is his ultimately. We don't even know the kind of issues that are arising for him to seek his mother's advice. I am sure that they are not immediate family issues because the wife said he is not a mama's boy. Again, if the wife has a good relationship with her MIL, no way she will ever become a 'side log' in her husband's house.

Yield:

You are missing the bigger picture, lady. Of course, she can call her son, but calling him everyday is not healthy, like I've said. And it is not normal. She might as well pack her things and come and live in their home since she cannot do without her son. Ironically, your friend's MIL is coming to stay with them for a while too, she just might end up not leaving the house, poor wife. Men, love and respect your mother, always. But once you're married, be a man and have your own life. You have a wife. Communicate with her. When it comes to things pertaining your marriage, don't go running to your mama each time and doing what she says instead, while ignoring your wife's own point of view, like the husband in this case is doing. Mama's boy, pfftt, cut the damn cord already.

Maybe it is just me, but I personally don't care if my MIL calls her son everyday. She may be a widow. She may be lonely now that the kids are out of the house. Since we cant teach her to start using the internet and relieve her boredom and calling her son makes her happy, then more grease to them. In the two years that they were married, she has not moved in with them and coming to visit doesn't mean she wont go back. many MILs have self-respect. Some don't, but many do. Now we cannot assume he is discussing marital affairs with his mother. It could be anything. Imagine the scenario. His mother's advice had saved him from major pitfalls in the past. Chances are high that he would value her opinion. Now I am not advocating that he rubs it in his wife's face all the time. Nothing wrong with him claiming his mother's idea as his own and tweaking it to accommodate his wife's suggestion. It takes a smart man to balance the two relationships and a smarter woman to realize that when there is a very close bond between mother and son, she shouldn't look for a way to lessen it or 'cutting the damn cord already' but a way to become a part of that bond. That's how I see it sha.