Hello People, I really need ur help in respect to this stuff I'm going to tlk about.
I'm a 24 and I losed my Dad when I was for and I've got 2 siblings, a boy and a girl who is the last child.
My mum did her best sending us to the best primary school in Ibadan and also tried her in contributing her quota towards our secondary education; but that was all she did!
I started working immediately I finished my secondary school education in 2007 and I'm still working till date, I'm currently running an ND programme @ a Polytechnic and will be through this year.
The challenge I'm facing is that my mum is always incurring debts (LAPO et al) that wasn't used on either me or my siblings education or upbringing. She's always complaining that I don't give her money even after trying to help her with loads of assistance I can't start sharing here. In 2008, I was going to seat for GCE but because I lent my mum from the money I was going to use to purchase the form I couldn't write the exam cos my mum didn't return the money till date.
N.B. I stay alone with my siblings.
Please matured advice are what I need from you guyz. Thanks a mil!

Nna, save money and set up a business for her....

ammyluv2002: Nna, save money and set up a business for her....

Think about it! I'm still in school, my siblings stay with me, I pay the bills, I also have my life and I don't earn 50k! How much do I save monthly?

Thanks anyways!

Make up your mind on how much you would be willing to give her, it could be monthly or quaterly...
As much as she has tried alone for raising you up, it is her responsibility to do so as you never asked to be brought into this world in the first place.

Getting your education is paramount, if you lose focus now, you may find it difficult to get it back.

Save for your school and talk to her about it, if she's the caring mother that she is, she will understand...

Pacify: Make up your mind on how much you would be willing to give her, it could be monthly or quaterly...
As much as she has tried alone for raising you up, it is her responsibility to do so as you never asked to be brought into this world in the first place.

Getting your education is paramount, if you lose focus now, you may find it difficult to get it back.

Save for your school and talk to her about it, if she's the caring mother that she is, she will understand...

Thanks for your words.
I've talked to her but she said I'm stingy! I give something monthly, but my concern is that she's always borrowing money that is not spent on me or my siblings and she expects me to pay part of it for her and I tell you, it is embarrassing and disturbing as it is affecting almost every sphere of my life.

Pacify: Make up your mind on how much you would be willing to give her, it could be monthly or quaterly...
As much as she has tried alone for raising you up, it is her responsibility to do so as you never asked to be brought in to this world in the first place.

Getting your education is paramount, if you lose focus now, you may find it difficult to get it back.

Save for your school and talk to her about it, if she's the caring mother that she is, she will understand...

Well said! @OP, please go with this advice

Firstly, what is LAPO?

Man, have you ever try to know what she's been using the money for? Does she still have mother,father or other children depending on her? Is she working at all? is she a business woman or doing a wrong business?

The reason for the above questions is that,I don't see any reason why an old/middle-age woman with no responsibility would be incurring a debt to the point of making you crying out. I can only give you a genuine advise if you answer the above questions.

emmanok24:

Think about it! I'm still in school, my siblings stay with me, I pay the bills, I also have my life and I don't earn 50k! How much do I save monthly?

Thanks anyways!

I feel for u sha...how about giving her money to start up a recharge card business even if is 5k. She can as well start selling something like akara and bread that's if she's willing to do something for herself o. U just need to talk to her and let her know how is really affecting you I'm sure she will understand as a mother.

.

D sage: Firstly, what is LAPO?

Man, have you ever try to know what she's been using the money for? Does she still have mother,father or other children depending on her? Is she working at all? is she a business woman or doing a wrong business?

The reason for the above questions is that,I don't see any reason why an old/middle-age woman with no responsibility would be incurring a debt to the point of making you crying out. I can only give you a genuine advise if you answer the above questions.

Thanks for your response.
LAPO is a devilish microcredit scheme, devilish in the sense that most people who they borrow money struggle to pay it back.

Her parents are late. And me and my 2 siblings who ought to depend on her aren't.

She have a school she runs, but its not really strong, av advised her a couple of times to get a job but she didn't yield.

She's in her late 40's.........

Get ur mother a sugar daddy!....

carzola: Get ur mother a sugar daddy!....

Get serious now

carzola: Get ur mother a sugar daddy!....

You must be a product of a sugar daddy!
#growup

Kikiani: from whatever u earn monthly give her somthn tangible..that is d best u cn do 4ha..if she kips incuring debts dats ha biz..let ha sort that out..no disrespect buh ur mum is wicked!(dnt u hav a bf?or gud frnds who cn hlp u?relatives nko?)

I'm male! And relatives aren't an option cos they're all wankers!
But will you put your family issues on a bf/gf?

emmanok24:

I'm male! And relatives aren't an option cos they're all wankers!
But will you put your family issues on a bf/gf?

.

Kikiani: ok!nt ur famil issues per say..i mean he/she shld b d closest persn 2knw abt ur struggles..help MAY come..just sayn tho..

Gotcha! Thanks anyway

You either cut off everyone and forge on in your life or sink with everyone. You had done enough for your family. Live your life, and answer all the bad names they'll call you, but i promise you that you'll never regret it.

Dreamflyin: You either cut off everyone and forge on in your life or sink with everyone. You had done enough for your family. Live your life, and answer all the bad names they'll call you, but i promise you that you'll never regret it.

Hmmm........ I do appreciate your words!

emmanok24:

Thanks for your response.
LAPO is a devilish microcredit scheme, devilish in the sense that most people who they borrow money struggle to pay it back.

Her parents are late. And me and my 2 siblings who ought to depend on her aren't.

She have a school she runs, but its not really strong, av advised her a couple of times to get a job but she didn't yield.

She's in her late 40's.........

I think at this point,you've to be very careful with the way you manage your life.

1. You must let her know your worth(financially) and the fact that your siblings also depends on you. Do it politely.

2. You must also learn to say NO. See, life is not the way we see it and if you think you can please everyone,you're making a mistake.

3. Warn her to desist from LAPO or whatever it may be. No child will see his/her mother embarrass because of debt and not pay it if he has money.

4. You might also need a strong financial plan for your life. Let everything be fixed( the portion of your salary you will spending in each area).

5. Be prayerful.

emmanok24:

You must be a product of a sugar daddy!
#growup

Ogbeni,Your MumC dey give that boy wen dey shine her congo money, based on Sugar mummy finsz

On a more serious note,do ask her what she uses the money she borrows from LAPO for,and from your previous explanations,she has got no business she is into now,so therefore,my crazy pidgin opinion above still stands!


#MikeyTalks.

First of all, A BIG KUDOS for all you have done.
You should realize your mom is terrible with financial matters.
You are THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOUR FAMILY right now.

You need to SIT down with your mom and have a heart-to-heart talk letting her know EXACTLY THE DANGERS OF EXTINGUISHING HER ONLY CANDLE IN THE WIND!!!!

Then PUT HER ON A BUDGET!!!!

She has LIVED her live to her fullest capacity!
The BEST is yet to come for you!
DON'T ALLOW ANYONE TO DERAIL YOUR LIFE AND DESTINY. . . . . like a NAIRALAND THREAD!!!!

Your mom is young and she can work. In her 40s and expecting her son to already be taking care of her needs? Your mother needs to get a job to take care of herself. You also need to learn how to say no. Imagine not being able to sit for you exams because your mother had the money. Do not start a business for her either. You will be wasting your money. She has not shown a history of good money management. Instead plan your future. If you keep this up you will not be able to break through this madness. Your mom should take care of herself and you start building your future. When you have settled in then you can really help out. I am just shocked that she is only in her 40's. Imagine letting her fend for herself now and you focus on your life for the next 10 years. She will only be in her 50s then and should still be working even then but you would have gone a long way by then. I don't even believe in a monthly anything for her at this point in her life. She should work. If you have a little extra then you can help out. If you don't have it don't feel bad about it

My der my advise may be ruthless bt I must talk to u out of xperience in ma own case I ran away nobody heard of me till am tru wit ma nursing sch I rekindle contact wen I am working with a general hosp b4 I went back for my post graduate midwifery, I belive ur siblings are up to 20yrs they should work and help u so with ur mum if they don't want to work pls lock ur heart away from everybody and fight for ur sef till u balance if not u wil not make it cos if u die ur mum wil survive. For ur mum she should work @ ur age is not mandatory to give money to ur mum she is the 1 dt is supose to give u
u don't have anything to discus with anybody take ur action if not u wil be frustrated after words pls RUN RUN RUN that's the best option

emmanok24:

I'm male! And relatives aren't an option cos they're all wankers!
But will you put your family issues on a bf/gf?

You mean all your relatives are self-servicer??

Kanwulia: First of all, A BIG KUDOS for all you have done.
You should realize your mom is terrible with financial matters.
You are THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOUR FAMILY right now.

You need to SIT down with your mom and have a heart-to-heart talk letting her know EXACTLY THE DANGERS OF EXTINGUISHING HER ONLY CANDLE IN THE WIND!!!!

Then PUT HER ON A BUDGET!!!!

She has LIVED her live to her fullest capacity!
The BEST is yet to come for you!
DON'T ALLOW ANYONE TO DERAIL YOUR LIFE AND DESTINY. . . . . like a NAIRALAND THREAD!!!!

I really appreciate your contribution.
Thanks a mil!

amacastel: My der my advise may be ruthless bt I must talk to u out of xperience in ma own case I ran away nobody heard of me till am tru wit ma nursing sch I rekindle contact wen I am working with a general hosp b4 I went back for my post graduate midwifery, I belive ur siblings are up to 20yrs they should work and help u so with ur mum if they don't want to work pls lock ur heart away from everybody and fight for ur sef till u balance if not u wil not make it cos if u die ur mum wil survive. For ur mum she should work @ ur age is not mandatory to give money to ur mum she is the 1 dt is supose to give u
u don't have anything to discus with anybody take ur action if not u wil be frustrated after words pls RUN RUN RUN that's the best option

Thanks for the understanding you've shown. My immediate bro is 21 and d girl will be 18 soon.
I honestly appreciate your words. May His grace keep us all.....

Abbey2sam:

You mean all your relatives are self-servicer??

Not all, some cousins of mine check on us once in a while. But for uncles and aunties they don't seem to care..... I understand they have their families too.
Losing a father can really chase people you share the same room with especially family members away!

emmanok24:

Thanks for your words.
I've talked to her but she said I'm stingy! I give something monthly, but my concern is that she's always borrowing money that is not spent on me or my siblings and she expects me to pay part of it for her and I tell you, it is embarrassing and disturbing as it is affecting almost every sphere of my life.

Guy, sit your mum down and talk to her, let her know that what she's currently doing is cripling you and you might not really be able to handle it cos it's getting out of hand for you.
Life might not be easy now, but just have it in mind that you'll overcome surely, that's if u dont give-up, your present challenge is a stepping stone to your success story.
So hold on and do what you need to do now...

I go for dis!!!!! Cut them off and when ure financially Ok u continue fending for them, if u fail in d future that same mother of urs will turn her back against u,God helps and ur siblings bcome more successful,trust me den ure in for it... struggle 4urself for now ure just a kid and no matter how small ur mom shld b d one trying her best not u..........

Dreamflyin: You either cut off everyone and forge on in your life or sink with everyone. You had done enough for your family. Live your life, and answer all the bad names they'll call you, but i promise you that you'll never regret it.

Bootylicious: I go for dis!!!!! Cut them off and when ure financially Ok u continue fending for them, if u fail in d future that same mother of urs will turn her back against u,God helps and ur siblings bcome more successful,trust me den ure in for it... struggle 4urself for now ure just a kid and no matter how small ur mom shld b d one trying her best not u..........

Thanks a mil.........

emmanok24:

Hmmm........ I do appreciate your words!

I think you should try to save towards improving your life to the detriment of other things until you find your feet.

If you continue to be vulnerable to all their problems, you will sink with them and they will still call you names when you are down.
Face your education and be sound in life, then you can carry responsibility.
If your mum keep borrowing money when she knew you are still caring your younger ones, then she is not been reasonable and wants your downfall.
Face your life for your future and damn the consequence. When you have made it, turn around and render help to them.