I am new to Nairaland and I need MATURED advise. My ex gave birth to my 1st son 3years ago although am not formal/legally married to her due to financial incapability then which made her to run away from me. I did my best to plead with her to return back to me that things will change but she refused which gave me the opportunity to meet my new wife. Things began to change in my life and I married my new woman now traditionally and otherwise and she is pregnant for me now my ex has regretted all her actions and want to come back to my life.

I love my son and I have been taken care of him, Please advise.

Am happy u said ur not legally married to her, so dnt call her ur ex wife, call her ur ex girlfriend or ur baby mama...My advice for u is to run away frm her, the fact that she has a child for u dnt mean anything..Take a leave frm 2face, Take responsibility of ur son and that all..Shes just coming to ruin ur life and run away again.

I'm confused. What advice do you need exactly? How to marry a second wife or what?

Ofcourse wat advise do u need. Is it to divorce d real wife nd marry her? My dear, ulld regret it. Or do u want to keep her as a second?its nt worth it. Pls. Just forget about her and take responsibility of ur child. If possible, collect d child frm her.

I can tell you are already playing away match..

Na you Biko

Take permission from your new wife and marry the second wife!

Or you can do the BABY-MOMMA some OKAFOR-MURPHY style on the side.

Simple!

op abeg her oppurtunity has passed,you have found love with another woman whom you've married traditionally so move on with your life and forget the ex,and you are weighing options because its your choice or problem but you deserve to be happy.

For starters,change your topic to: my baby momma wants to come back to me but if i catch her two left legs anywhere around my home,she will regret meeting me!

I want to assume the help you need is how to take custody of your son. If that is the case, allow the mother to keep custody till he is 8yrs, then you can file for custody in court or through social welfare. Keep doing what you have to do for the boy as the father.

Meanwhile, the baby mama is now a past tense and should remain so. When visiting your son, it should be done in the open and not in secret where you can re-log in on where you both left it. She shouldn't even cross your mind again except the boy. Be happy with your new found love who stood by you during the hard time. If you do otherwise, you may end up losing in both ways.

bellong: I want to assume the help you need is how to take custody of your son. If that is the case, allow the mother to keep custody till he is 8yrs, then you can file for custody in court or through social welfare. Keep doing what you have to do for the boy as the father.

Why on earth will he file for child custody?
Did the mother said she don't want the child again?
Or is the mum abusing the boy?
Bc he is the sperm donor so he should file for child custody?
Then the mother or baby mama will be left with nothing abi?
Is he not married?

That's why I love my place. U dare not try that. Nothing like child custody if u like take it to supreme court. Any child outside wedlock strictly belongs to the mum.


Topic
Poster, instead of u to admit u r already bedmaticking with ur baby mama and ask for help, u r preaching d gospel according to davrod!

yellowpawpaw:
Why on earth will he file for child custody?
Did the mother said she don't want the child again?
Or is the mum abusing the boy?
Bc he is the sperm donor so he should file for child custody?
Then the mother or baby mama will be left with nothing abi?
Is he not married?

That's why I love my place. U dare not try that. Nothing like child custody if u like take it to supreme court. Any child outside wedlock strictly belongs to the mum.


Topic
Poster, instead of u to admit u r already bedmaticking with ur baby mama and ask for help, u r preaching d gospel according to davrod!

He loves his son according to him. If he can prove that the mother is incapable of raising the boy, why can't he file for custody. The fact that a female gave birth to a child does not make her a good mother. How is someone who is interested in his son a sperm donor? Is his interest not a sign of responsibility?
Your place cannot be above the supreme law of the land. If he wins it in court, I wonder who will stop the law from taking its course in your place. Between, there is no written/unwritten law that says that child outside wedlock belongs to the mother. Law is always in the overall interest of a child and not based on emotional sentiments.

BTW- by the way...
bellong BETWEEN yellowpawpaw...

bellong:

He loves his son according to him. If he can prove that the mother is incapable of raising the boy, why can't he file for custody. The fact that a female gave birth to a child does not make her a good mother. How is someone who is interested in his son a sperm donor? Is his interest not a sign of responsibility?
Your place cannot be above the supreme law of the land. If he wins it in court, I wonder who will stop the law from taking its course in your place. Between, there is no written/unwritten law that says that child outside wedlock belongs to the mother. Law is always in the overall interest of a child and not based on emotional sentiments.

U completely took it to a diff angle.
Like I wrote earlier, is d baby mama abusing the said child?
If not why d custody thing?
Is he not married and on his way to father as many as he want with his wife?
So why the custody issue now?
The baby mama might not be married, or may not marry again and that boy is her only child,yet we want him to file for custody later.

It depends on what u mean by d constitution of the land. In my own land, a child outside wedlock solely belongs to the lady and her people. U want a child, do the necessary thing. That is the constitution in our land.
Its less severe now.
B4, if a gal marries while pregnant, u r on ur own.the child belong to d gal's family. Nobody messes with our gals and expect a smooth ride. Like I said, u want a child, pay d dowry first!

^^^ Why the custody thing?

davrod:

I love my son and I have been taken care of him, Please advise.

bellong: I want to assume the help you need is how to take custody of your son..

Assumption to his unclarified call for help...... I read more meaning to his last statement than the story he started with...

Thanks guys for the advise. Over my dead body will I accept her back my only priority remain my 1st son but I can see signs of my baby mama wanting to atleast start intimate relationship with me which am avoiding and am praying to God to help me avoid it for the rest of my life. Nobody is above temptation OR mistake but God willing I will avoid getting intimate with her.

So bc he is taking care of his son, he should file for custody?
Is the baby mama not taking care of him too.
C, there r lots of things to put into consideration b4 one files for custody of a child. If this is how we can easily file for custody, then I'm vey sorry for all the baby mamas around. They really don't hv a say, do they?
Bc the constitution of the land made it so?
Anyway, it depends on which land cos its not applicabel everywhere.

He should continue taking care of him till his adultlife if he can. After all the boy no beg them to born am.
Its his full responsibility with d baby mama.

The hidden truth in his grammer is that he has already started bleeping d baby mama again and if care is not taken, baby number 2 is on d way.

My Bellong, happy birthday in advance!

davrod: Thanks guys for the advise. Over my dead body will I accept her back my only priority remain my 1st son but I can see signs of my baby mama wanting to atleast start intimate relationship with me which am avoiding and am praying to God to help me avoid it for the rest of my life. Nobody is above temptation OR mistake but God willing I will avoid getting intimate with her.

tell your babymama to hold her horses. you have moved on, she should move on. arrange a weekly or bi-monthly schedule to visit your son. if you can't trust your philandering self, always go with a friend - pick your son at the door & drop him back at the door when you are done.

happy days!

davrod: Thanks guys for the advise. Over my dead body will I accept her back my only priority remain my 1st son but I can see signs of my baby mama wanting to atleast start intimate relationship with me which am avoiding and am praying to God to help me avoid it for the rest of my life. Nobody is above temptation OR mistake but God willing I will avoid getting intimate with her.

When you poke her, dont open a thread ooo

I am married but have another child by my baby mamma of 1

next time you are going to her place, go with your wifey.
Temptation don't know prayer.

davrod: Thanks guys for the advise. Over my dead body will I accept her back my only priority remain my 1st son but I can see signs of my baby mama wanting to atleast start intimate relationship with me which am avoiding and am praying to God to help me avoid it for the rest of my life. Nobody is above temptation OR mistake but God willing I will avoid getting intimate with her.

davrod: Thanks guys for the advise. Over my dead body will I accept her back my only priority remain my 1st son but I can see signs of my baby mama wanting to atleast start intimate relationship with me which am avoiding and am praying to God to help me avoid it for the rest of my life. Nobody is above temptation OR mistake but God willing I will avoid getting intimate with her.

You can help the baby momma Dont forget Okafors laws

How is she your ex wife

Did she leave you because you were not financially stable or because you used it as an excuse not to marry her. Anyway it matters not at this point. You are married to someone else. Grow up. Two other people have already been affected for life by your previous bad decision. Now you want to hurt another two because you want to be selfish.

dayokanu:

You can help the baby momma Dont forget Okafors laws

This is d second time I'm seeing this in one week.
Pls what is okafor's law?

Briefly;

A congo once shined can be shined at some future time

OR


A pokee once poked in the past can always be poked in the future by the poker

yellowpawpaw:
This is d second time I'm seeing this in one week.
Pls what is okafor's law?

davrod: Thanks guys for the advise. Over my dead body will I accept her back my only priority remain my 1st son but I can see signs of my baby mama wanting to atleast start intimate relationship with me which am avoiding and am praying to God to help me avoid it for the rest of my life. Nobody is above temptation OR mistake but God willing I will avoid getting intimate with her.

Looks to me like you are about to crawl back in bed with her or already done so and praying it doesn't happen again
See how men complicate their lives
She will soon carry belle again

Well from my own perspective, i think it is the child welfare that should be your concern,
Send money to her account monthly for her to take care of your child....
Visit your son or request him to come and visit you during holidays.
Ur ex girlfriend/wife has missed it, so there is no going back.
Just let your new wife know everything i mean everything so there wont be mix up or unnecessary beefing.
Meci.