Am a yoruba lady dating a Kano Man, but people seem to have a problem with Kano Men even my folks, but no one can give me a particular issue or reason they have against them. I wanna know what it is exactly. Am hoping that someone could help me out here, Pls,
Thanks

its just prejudice. . . . . . . . even his people will also have reservations about u

Noetic,

true statement!


Pink,

Kano is to Hausaland what Timbuktu is to the Malians. In the old trans-Saharan trade era when we had the Kingdoms and the Empires and all that stuff, Kano was a center of commerce. Even among the Northerners, Kano is envied. Another city like that is Zaria. When you talk about traditional Hausa history, thos two cities are the bedrock of their ethnic legacies.

Nonetheless, pay attention to what Noetic said.

I understand what u both imply but the truth is am confused as to how to table it for my folks cos my mum was aware initially and the comments she made was upsetting, Am mostly concerned bout my parents actually!!!
Help!!!1

Pink,

Its human sentiments. There is a fear of the unknown. Its not your responsibility to ease their concerns. The man you are dating, if he is aware of their apprehension, should step forward and engage them more frequently. He need to show up more and visit with them, especially with your Dad. His familiarity and presence will make him more accesible for them to satisfy their curiosity about his value system and personality. The more they know about him the more reassured they will be to entrust you to his care. He need to win them to his side, this is not your duty. If he doesn't know how to do that or if he is feeling that as a Northerner he cannot bow down to a Yoruba man, then he is not a good material for you as a husband. If he sees your parents as a Yorubas, instead of in-laws, then he will see you as a Yoruba instead of a wife.

Thank you Negro, but the funny part is he's not aware, he sees my dad more like an hausa man{Most people do cos he grew up in the north} the major deal breaker's my mum. Besides dey scared that Hausa men tend to marry more than one which he doesnt want for me, considering 'm his favourite, and all. DNt wanna sound funny, but he is different and i really am in LOVE with him!

pinkflava7:

Thank you Negro, but the funny part is he's not aware, he sees my dad more like an hausa man{Most people do because he grew up in the north} the major deal breaker's my mum. Besides dey scared that Hausa men tend to marry more than one which he doesnt want for me, considering 'm his favourite, and all. DNt want to sound funny, but he is different and i really am in LOVE with him!

You actually do sound funny. He is different? I really am in love with him?
Why do I think I've heard that so many times before?

You ignore your parents' concerns about your future life partner at your own risk.
Of course they're in the wrong sometimes, you'll only know that for sure after you've taken the dive.

To thread starter.

Are you muslim? I'm guessing this boyfriend of yours is a Hausa and or at least Muslim being that he's from Kano.  If he is Muslim, I'd like to also know if you are as well. If the situation is that he is Muslim and you are not, then I can very well see your mothers concerns. Even if he, your boyfriend, is not pushing the issue now it is almost certain that he will in the very near future, when he feels as though he has you more on LOCK, ask you to convert. La, DEMAND OF YOU TO DO SO if the relationship is to continue, would you be ready for to make such a change for him is the question needing answering.

By the way, I see that you reside in Abuja. My wife's uncles has recently come back from there and showed me some pics of the place and man--- it has really changed for the better in the past 7 years since I was last there. New construction is going on everywhere and completed new building and many other project have been finished since then. It really looks like a very modern city that is developing rapidly. I'm happy to see that the Nigerian government is at least making some significant achievement in at least some areas. From the looks of it, by the time the 2014 CW games come around Abuja will look like something comparable to a major East Asian city. I really thought that that churchgate Tower project was going to be another typical white elephant project, though I hear that they've actually completed the first stage of the project on prior to schedule. Humm, impressive.

We both are muslims

pinkflava7:

We both are muslims

Though he is Hausa and or of some other ethnic distinction different form yours, correct?

He's Hausa
'm Yoruba,

You heard what Geniall said? Good point there for u.

Pink,
I am Yoruba, I grew up in Kano. I speak, read and write Hausa fluently. I said this to give you a hint of my familiarity with the custom. Your parents are immediate to you but you will also have aunts, uncles and other first-relatives that are equally worried. You want a happy marriage but you are already taking short cuts at the foundation. If he thinks your dad shares his values, then why are your folks still worried about him? Why is he not bonding with your dad whom he regards as a fellow Northerner.?

As a hausa woman frm kano let me give u expo.d kano man is usually egotistic so u have to make him believe he has d upper hand.kill him with luv & affection,great food sexy dressing & romance.as 4 ur dad having lived in d north he knows our men are usually not faithful.for cross cultural marriages to work dre needs to be deep love & commitment.marriages generally don't last now be it frm any tribe just make d most of what u have.
“It is a risk to love. That’s part of what makes it so beautiful. If you frequently ask yourself, ‘What if it doesn't work out?’ consider changing your question. Ask yourself, ‘Ah, but what if it does?’”
-- Harold Bloomfield

@ Saha
Thank you very much. I really appreciate your Suggestion. I guess i got majority of the things you listed out. Wld continue and also try to be positive about it, Much appreciation

Saha, did u grow up in Kano? What part? My family lived on Lamido Rd for many years and I attended Rumfa.

pinkflava7:

Am a yoruba lady dating a Kano Man, but people seem to have a problem with Kano Men even my folks, but no one can give me a particular issue or reason they have against them. I want to know what it is exactly. Am hoping that someone could help me out here, Please,
Thanks

the problem is not hausa men it is ur family

@ Princess K
the problem is not hausa men it is your family!!!!
Please i would appreciate if you left my family out of it, not forcing anyone to give opinions but if u aint got anything to say, why not just read and pass,

in ur own words wat is the problem with hausa men? i said there is none
why are u taking offence?
so ur language is not offensive but mine is?

Negro_ntns,hi yup I grew up in kano,attended st.louis & lived on ahmadu bello way which means u lived basically on d next street.
@poster ur problems can be resolved but will need a lot of patience & understanding,I can understand ur predicament as my mom wasn't hausa & my grandad didn't trust kano men till he died.Good luck

Saha, I hope you are not who I'm thinking.

Thats too many coincidences, do you have a brother named Abubakar? Please say NO!

Yes o!small world abi.now who cld u be.

@poster
I am a full blown Hausa Man. Want technical advisve

Go 4 it you got notting to loose.[/color]
Go 4 it you got notting to loose.[color=#006600]
Go 4 it you got notting to loose.[color=#006600][/color]

Lol, I am shocked! You lived down the street from Grand Khadi's house, didn't you?

How is Abu doing and where is he now? I'd like to know. Last I saw him was ages ago! How about Mohammed Wali, you know him?
Saha, send me an email when u get a chance. Negro_Nations@yahoo.com

If u mean did I attend grand kadis islamiyya yes.sent u an email

@poster
- most hausa men tend to appreciate the spice non-hausa women bring as wives.the usual shit he may apply to his hausa sistas will not be applied to you.
- Hausa men are prone to marrying any tribe in nigeria withoutbatting an eye, so u are not doing anything out of the ordinary.
- ur only problem is polygamy. but from what i see with the yorubas, they also practice polygamy or simply desrt their wives.so wats d difference.

u wont believe it, but there ar many big families in kano that are originally yoruba, linked to yoruba in their lineage or married yoruba wives.And are totally accepted in their communities. so go for it gal,