Diary Of An Unborn Child - Poems For Review - Nairaland
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A Letter To My Unborn Child / Cry Of An Unborn Child / From An Unborn (2) (3) (4)
| Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 11:27pm On Oct 22, 2013 |
I open my fluttering eyes For the first time in my entire life All around I see darkness All I feel is numbness. Today my life begins Though no one knows yet Except He who moulded me He, who is I AM. I am, Nothing but a tiny being But I know I shall accomplish great things Though my mother Acknowledges not my presence yet Though my father Knows me not yet I shall be known by the world I have great dreams. It's the third month. My heart is much stronger. It shall grow stronger till it tire Until I'm old and weary And lay in blissful rest. I can't wait to come into the world To stroke my mother's hair with my fingers; To hug my father with my arms; To pick flowers and decorate momma's hair; To be a loving, caring and obedient daughter; To be a leader who would deliver my people; To lead them to victory; To win battles and make my parents proud; To experience true love; To know what it means to be a mother; Oh! How I love my parents For giving me an opportunity to come to the world. The noise tickled my ear I hear the popular sound once more I have grown accustomed to it Since the fateful night I was discovered By some old man poking my body And a lucid object giving light to my darkness. I felt a pain. Is mother in danger? I have to save her! I have to protect her! Kick as hard as you can I have to come out and save mother. Mother wait for me, I'm coming. The noise stops suddenly I hear the sound no more. Stead I hear the sound of mom's weeping. My heart weeps along with her. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you" "But I promise" "Till the day I die, no harm shall come your way" "I shall protect you with my last drop of blood" I wonder if she can hear me. My hearty heart grows stronger everyday Stronger for the battle ahead. It beats, lub-dub, lub- dub. Nevermore. Today my mother killed me. Copyright 2013 Voice of an Ink. 1 Like |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by Nobody: 1:08pm On Nov 03, 2013 |
Wow, me likey... I could just feel it.. Nice.. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 6:56pm On Nov 03, 2013 |
njokusboy: Wow, me likey... I could just feel it.. Nice.. Thanks Njoku. Really appreciate your comment. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by ayd91(m): 10:22am On Nov 04, 2013 |
Your poem has a nice concept. I feel your title is too long. I thought the poem was rather long but its a sought of memoir so its justifies. Your ending leaves me wondering. Who died? The narrator or his mum (that's if indeed there was a death.) |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 1:21pm On Nov 04, 2013 |
ayd91: Your poem has a nice concept. Lol... thanks for your contribution. The last line: 'today my mother killed me' rightly suggests that the child (unborn) not it's mother was killed. Giving a short title such as 'abortion' may make the reader less inquisitive and expectant. Your suggestions for an alternative title would be appreciated. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by ayd91(m): 1:06pm On Nov 05, 2013 |
Voice of an Ink:"The noise tickled my ear I hear the popular sound once more I have grown accustomed to it Since the fateful night I was discovered" what sound? Sound of rape? I don't seem to understand the link with the eventual termination. The unborn: unpublished memoir.  if I come up with a better one I'll share it. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 11:23am On Nov 06, 2013 |
ayd91: Yeah. The to-be dad wasn't ready to be a dad so he asked the to-be mum to terminate the child. She refused, they fought frequently on the issue. That's the 'popular sound'. She later gave in and aborted the foetus. I'm sure u understand the moral of the poem. Thanks for ur suggestions. I thought abt the title: 'Tears of an unborn' or 'words from the grave'. Though, I'm still open to suggestions. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 6:26pm On Nov 07, 2013 |
Voice of an Ink: Iono maybe 'death before cradle', or 'death in utero' or 'withered sprout' or 'strangled dreams' |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 6:39pm On Nov 07, 2013 |
Voice of an Ink: Lovely poem by the way. Thanks for opening my virgin ears to the sound of an unborn child, love d abrupt ending. U stated 'popular sound' meant the strife between the couples yh? U could have used a clearer diction to paint that picture, maybe something like, 'the popular sound of couple's rancor' or sth like that. But all the same lovely penmanship! 1 Like |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 7:22pm On Nov 07, 2013 |
Ur poem reminds me of a poem I wrote earlier ds year. Similar subject but instead of abortion, the subject of mine was miscarriage and it was from an omnipresent(?) point of view. Here it is, enjoy! MISCARRIAGE Sent out in millions On a deathly race in a dark moist chamber; One price, one winner. Swimming blindly to hit the target- Their price. Only the first will be spared; Even the second will be left for death, Disposed off like the others- all failures. Soon fused is the winner and the price Into one. A life formed A life begun The dead is not mourned, but forgotten Life prevails, joy ensues. Friction, rift, rancour; Harsh verbal missiles thrown; Only to find out words are not enough. Physical missiles soon launched; Culminating to an innocuous strike. Wrong target struck! Proven deadly Crushing and shattering the shell Its contents dripping in red Murder! Murder! Of the unborn and unseen! A life lost A life ended The dead is mourned and not forgotten Death prevails, sadness ensues. - Badmusace 1 Like |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 9:02pm On Nov 07, 2013 |
badmusace: Ur poem reminds me of a poem I wrote earlier ds year. Similar subject but instead of abortion, the subject of mine was miscarriage and it was from an omnipresent(?) point of view. Well-spun piece however, you may have to shed light on the second stanza. Didn't get the full message. Thanks for your contribution. U have added +1 to my knowledge  |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by ayd91(m): 8:26pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
@badmusace you are on point with your observation. "U could have used a clearer diction to paint that picture, maybe something like, 'the popular sound of couple's rancor' or sth like that." @Voice of an Ink, okay. Makes sense. Since we are sharing similar work. I beg to be excused, cause I've not written one on this subject . |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by liljboy(m): 12:08pm On Nov 26, 2013 |
Join this awesome poet group https://m./179240072282064?view=info&refid=18 |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 10:01pm On Nov 30, 2013 |
Voice of an Ink: Haha! Thank u, okay. It is basically about the 'newly-weds-to-be- parents' constantly exchanging bitter words and one day it became more physical and the pregnant mom was unintentionally struck on the belly. The unborn child died. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by Tinkybabe(f): 3:08pm On Dec 01, 2013 |
Voice of an ink,very lovely poem but do take on board the constructive comments above @badmusace,I love your poem-it's deep .I particularly love the word play and suspense..it takes a deep thinker to deduce the message being passed across and that's what I appreciate about poems.. Still trying to get there myself.. Welldone guys one of my poems Tinkybabe: |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 7:53am On Dec 04, 2013 |
Tinybabe, Thanks for your comment, #WellNoted! And abt ur poem, it's simple and short yet it bears a lot of meaning. Now, that's poetry! Welcome to my abode. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 7:53am On Dec 04, 2013 |
Tinkybabe, Thanks for your comment, #WellNoted! And abt ur poem, it's simple and short yet it bears a lot of meaning. Now, that's poetry! Welcome to my abode. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 8:07am On Dec 04, 2013 |
badmusace: Thanks for your suggestions man, I'm seriously considering renaming it as 'withered sprout' love it! |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 11:03pm On Dec 04, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: Voice of an ink,very lovely poem but do take on board the constructive comments above Thanks Your 'Lantern' poem is also lovely. Love d technique, one is forced to read it at least twice, to grasp d full meaning! I've once used that technique in a poem I wrote (would drop it here soon) ! Would love to read more of ur works... |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 11:04pm On Dec 04, 2013 |
@voice of the ink ...no p! |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 11:42pm On Dec 04, 2013 |
BREAKTHROUGH Time for the grand entry is right on cue But a delay is apparent (as usual) without a clue The awaited stays awaited - a greater woe In glistening dual rows they all have theirs on show Eyes shooting darts my way as I walk by My unarmoured skin-- their prized bulls eye Their lips need not part; for their faces I read clear: "Where are yours? You do not belong here!" Their gaze, a blinding sun to which I'm under My eyes must find somewhere new to wander This black sheep needs white dye for cover As this spacious room grows smaller than ever I try hastening its coming on my own volition Unearthing true rueful memories and those of fiction--- I had better shorten my stay to this moment For it is evident it has far been spent But wait!! Deep down in, I feel a brewing tempest For that which I had waited for to be like the rest The right countenance I quickly put on As a warm welcome for this prodigal son Drops upon drops drop down fast (like a race) In soothing lines across my face I can't help but break a smile This grand entry, though belated, is finally worth the while A wider grin, to welcome their fall, grows from my maw As their faces contort in terror and awe But right now, I care less of what they may think As all my worries and care now sink For the joy of having my tears come On this rueful occasion deserves a smiling welcome! |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by Tinkybabe(f): 12:18am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Thanks guys.. badmusace,your poem is nice...So unpredictable-for the love of tears..lol. My first set of poems can be found here----> https://www.nairaland.com/1340069/all-life-reality-shun |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 11:40am On Dec 05, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: Thanks guys.. Wow! Just went thru all d poems, u r really a bundle of talent and master architect of rhymes. Lovely! |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by Tinkybabe(f): 10:30pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
^^coming from a great poet like you,the blood vessels around my cheeks have never been more dilated  But master architect of rhymes?nahh, I'm still a suckling babe in the game.I'm honoured though,thank you @voice of an ink,sorry for derailing your thread |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 10:30pm On Dec 09, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: ^^coming from a great poet like you,the blood vessels around my cheeks have never been more dilated No Problem, we're all here to learn and share. I'lld create time to check out your collections. They look promising, as badmusace attests. Tinkybabe: ^^coming from a great poet like you,the blood vessels around my cheeks have never been more dilated No Problem, we're all here to learn and share. I'lld create time to check out your collections. They look promising, as badmusace attests. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 9:34am On Dec 17, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: ^^coming from a great poet like you,the blood vessels around my cheeks have never been more dilated Loool! U flatter an amateur! |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by VoiceofanInk(m): 12:04pm On Dec 18, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: Thanks guys.. Wow! U've got really nice poems there. Ur rhymes flow effortlessly from a spring of vocabularies. Would love to see you experiment with other rhyme patterns as you did in the poem titled : Real Men. You should also use more internal rhymes coupled with your end rhymes. They'll make your poem very pleasant to the ear when read aloud. Cheers. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by Tinkybabe(f): 2:17pm On Dec 22, 2013 |
Thank you VOI..I'm honoured. |
| Re: Diary Of An Unborn Child by badmusace(m): 11:01am On Dec 24, 2013 |
Came across this, and decided to share "Calling on all poets to join us in celebrating Christmas by creating a collection of Christmas poems. Submitt your works here, help spread the word. https://www.nairaland.com/1560012/red-poetry-touch-christmas |
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