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Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by femmefatale: 4:50am On Oct 26, 2013 |
Ordinarily, the man, being the head of the family, is expected to provide accommodation and other basic needs for his wife and children. But these days there are wealthy women who build houses on their own. Saturday PUNCH asked people if it was proper for men to live in houses built by their wives, expecially without their consent. It is not proper John Adeshina No, it is not proper for a man to live in a house built by his wife without his consent. The husband and the wife are one and that alone means any decision that concerns the home is to be taken by the man and his wife. In this case, if she builds it without the husband’s consent, then I will say a big no to that. But if it is with the husband’s consent, then I think that is not bad. But for me, I will not agree to live in that house because for a woman to do that, it means she has no regard for the husband and she can even do more harm to him. So, I don’t agree with this. Men generally are the jealous type Bunmi Quadri Normally, the husband and wife are meant to do things together because they are one. If this is not respected, they are bound to have issues between them. But as regards the question, it is not right for a man to live in a house built by his wife without his consent because it shows there is no love. If this happens, it can lead to divorce, because we all know that men generally are the jealous type. For me, my husband will know before I build any house. It doesn’t sound well Nosiru Lateef We are generally bound by our culture. A Yoruba proverb says that a man who lives in a house built by an in-law is actually living in a bin house. To me, it doesn’t sound well but because our culture has been mixed, things like this are bound to happen. If the man knows, she can go ahead but if he doesn’t know, then I don’t agree. To me, there should be sincerity and if the sincerity is violated, then it is wrong for her to build, not to even talk of living there, I will not stay there. A woman should normally tell her husband everything she does. She has no right to do that Deborah Olanrewaju The woman has no right to build a house without telling the husband because the man is the head of the home. A man should not live in that house because it is right for the wife to make known all her intentions to the man. For me, I can’t build a house without my husband’s consent. I can’t live in house built by my wife without my contribution Ayilara tunde There should be a touch of sincerity in every husband and wife relationship. If she does that without my consent, then I will know she is up to something. I can’t even live in a house built by my wife without my consent. In short, I can’t live there because if she is sincere, she would let me know. The woman should not hide anything from her husband Omolola Ajibise No, it means there is no love because I see no reason why the woman should hide things from her husband. To me, that is not right and it also means there is no trust. A man should not live in a house built by his wife without his consent. I can’t build a house without my husband’s consent, it is not proper at all. The man should be responsible Babalola Saka In my opinion, I don’t think I can do that because the man should be capable enough to take up the responsibilities of his wife and kids. I should be responsible, not my wife. Not that I won’t be happy for her, but I can’t live there because as time goes on, there will be problem. Men can never tolerate that Victoria Osigwe It is not right. The husband must know because if it happens, the man will be ridiculed by people outside. Men can never tolerate it because of their ego. It can even lead to divorce. So for me, my husband and I must agree before I build anything. It is not acceptable Adebisi Muftaudeen It is not acceptable for a man to live in a house built by his wife without his consent, because it will be difficult for the man. The man, should do this not the other way round. It is not acceptable in yoruba land Funke Lawrence In Yoruba land, this is not acceptable because the man is the head of the family and he should be the one in charge. In my own opinion, if the woman seeks the approval of the man to build a house and he agrees; then there is no problem with that. But if he doesn’t know, then I will say this will lead to disagreement and there will be no trust at all. My husband must know before I do anything. Culled from Punch So dear NLers whatz ur own opinion? |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Kanwulia: 5:02am On Oct 26, 2013 |
As you can READ, the respondents are from the EAST-WEST connector of NIGERIA where women are too TIMID/LAZZZZZZZY to WORK WITH THEIR OWN BRAINS AND HANDS! Or where CHAUVINISTIC/SEXXXXIST and extremely LOCCCAL dudes are toooooo insecure to get married to SELF-MADE WOMEN! The reason we have women like BIANCA KEKE-OJUKWU getting married to re-cycled grand-daddy grooms in the name of love! Or we have women disrespect themselves by sitting in ABUSIVE marriages only to be divorced with ACID BY BOTH AREA-FADA OBAS AND LOCAL MECHANICS ALL OVER YORUBA/IGBO LANDS ESPECIALLY!!! Primitive culture for MGBEKES AND ALATIKAS!!!! TWA!!! Did you read from any EDO woman up there? Why not? Is he marrying me for my house? Some of us had houses before we got married!!! No joint ACCOUNTS OR HOUSES!!! When we say "I don't". . . . Please, pack your "Walmart" bags and MOVE-OUT!!! Simple!!! 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Nobody: 11:04pm On Oct 26, 2013 |
Kanwulia: As you can READ, the responders are from the EAST-WEST connector of NIGERIA where women are too TIMID/LAZZZZZZZYVto WORK WITH THEIR OWN BRAINS AND HANDS! Or where CHAUVINISTIC/SEXXXXIST and extremely LOCCCAL dudes are toooooo insecure men who get married to SELF-MADE WOMEN!abi o.they are waaaaaaaayyyyy toooo local. I will rather not let such peeps touch me with a 1 million pole.their i.q is tooooooo low for me,like seriously what the Bleep honestly,you've said it all,dont know what else to say.the women are so subservient mentally and physically,the local champions (males ) are so sexist,controlling and domineering.the comments are soooo disgusting.reminds me of when i went to buy some provisions in a provision store in one local/rural area and the man said i should bend down in a yoruba way before he accepts the money,i said why,he said because he is a man.it was too funny and annoying at the same time,my friend heard and said,its not his fault,becaue he hasnt left this village.i said will you take this money or not,he said bend down first to show reverence.i didnt even waste time to fling those packs of soap at him before driving off.those are the kinds of men/women that made such daft comment up there.they need some level of EXPOSURE so they dont see things in the eyes of their village/CHAUVENISM but in the eyes of CIVILITY. abeg am out.women like me have no buisness with local low lives like this,jeez.smh 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by ireneidiva(f): 7:02am On Oct 28, 2013 |
kulyie: abi o.they are waaaaaaaayyyyy toooo local. CIVIL WOMAN if only you actually sat down to read the post. A man does not build a house without the CONSENT of his wife likewise a woman. CONSENT is the keyword. If you have to build a house without telling your spouse, you should'nt even be married in the first place. 19 Likes |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by jmoore(m): 2:52pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
It is not a crime, but why should a woman build a house without the knowledge of the husband? 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by alotofgrace(m): 2:52pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
is she not human? ***observation_did nairaland reset dia sava? |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Nobody: 2:54pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
There is nafin bad abt it,bt d man sud av a plan B o,lyk a aus of hez own,cos if he offends d wyf lasan,na quick notice tinz!!! |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by dridowu: 2:56pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
If from d scratch i.e from buying of land to house roofing the man knows about it then 100% i support the man to lives with his nuclear lovely family in the house but if otherwise capital NO. Ka fi otun we osi, ka fi osi we otun ni owo fi mo |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by greatgod2012(f): 2:58pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
The keyword here is WITH OR WITHOUT CONSENT of the man. |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by slap1(m): 2:59pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Love is a mutual thing. If we love each other, why not? |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Afam4eva(m): 2:59pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
The man is the head of the family but that doesn't mean that he must provide the house. it was never stated in any book that i know off. Infact, the fact that he's the head of the family makes it possible for him to move into his wife's house. There's nothing wrong with it. The only thing he has to be concerned about is the society where he lives. If he can live in his wife's house and not pay attention to what people say about it then he should go ahead. But if he's gonna be whining about it all the time then he should just respect popular wisdom and not move into his wife's house. Not that there's anything wrong with it. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by saintdeby(m): 3:01pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
hmnnnn |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by 80million1: 3:06pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
*speechless* |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by gingerbread(m): 3:10pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
@#80illion All ur comments have been *speechess*. Dude I seriously Hope all is well. |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Celepope: 3:12pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Any man that lives in his wife's house built without his consent is not fit to live.Infact Achebe describe such a man as "Agbala" in Things Fall Apart.A day will come and the woman will ask her husband to start paying rent or move out especially when they have marital issues.That's not African.Infact its a curse for that man.That's why I love my dad.My mum can't buy any major thing in the house without his consent if not when he discovers it she must return it.As a typical Igbo man its an embarassment I don't know of any other tribe.Just imagine the woman walking up to the husband and telling him "honey next week we are moving to my new house and sorry I didn't tell you" and the man saying "its all good provided its our house there is no problem"God forbid.The day my wife tries that her parent should be ready to give me back my diary.Men that accept such are losers in all entity no matter how well they think they are doing in their various endevour. 2 Likes |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by stan4b(m): 3:12pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
If my wife will put my name as d owner of d house,den dere is no p. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Jayses(m): 3:15pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Should a woman live in a house built by a man ? |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Xano(m): 3:17pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
ireneidiva:thank you. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by olahero(m): 3:22pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
I can't, even if she already told before built it........ Girls are DESPERATE, if you act like a real HUSBAND chai your hear go full of badt words. What if without my CONSENT? I will monitor her before I rule on Her. IS NOT A GOOD THING, SHIKENAH! |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Infomizer(m): 3:23pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
No big dealio..It'll be more sensemaking if I've got mine too (with tenants probably). |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Fussbot: 3:26pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Kanwulia: As you can READ, the responders are from the EAST-WEST connector of NIGERIA where women are too TIMID/LAZZZZZZZYVto WORK WITH THEIR OWN BRAINS AND HANDS! Or where CHAUVINISTIC/SEXXXXIST and extremely LOCCCAL dudes are toooooo insecure men who get married to SELF-MADE WOMEN!what is dis 1 saying? 9 Likes |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by olahero(m): 3:27pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Jayses: Should a woman live in a house built by a man ?Google it nah, MY ANSWER IS IF SHE IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE A WIFE SHE SHOULD NOT. |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by chinanoni: 3:27pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
say waitin happen, me I no fit ooo. surely we go quarrel and she fit give me quick notice ooo. women, if she buy u cloth the whole world go know, not to talk of house man wey try am na sorry be him name. |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by olahero(m): 3:29pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Fussbot: what is dis 1 saying?Her mouth is smelling, she is saying rubbish.... Note she ain't alone, she has a type, just read down. 5 Likes |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by thiefnubu(m): 3:30pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
no..... he should live in a building housed by his wife..... |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Lawconfessor(f): 3:37pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
I like dis topic, cos i'm seriously thinking on somfin lik dat. Honestly, i see nothing in it, and why would d huby refuse to live in it? I totally support d man moving in to d house wit or witout his consent- depending on how d wife break d news about d house to him. Wot if she builds the house to present to her huby on his birthday as an unexpected suprise package?- her intention/s shud be learnt first. But i suppose dat it depends on how n in wot way he got to have d knowledge of d house. 2 Likes |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Valto(m): 3:39pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
if the house was built with my consent : yes If the house was built without my consent :NO |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by freecocoa(f): 3:49pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
Firstly, how does a woman go off building a house without the consent of her husband? Or are we talking about a house she built before meeting the said husband? I'm confused. |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by saintol(m): 3:50pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
The consent is very important abi. What if in a situation whereby the wife actually built the house as a surprise package for her husband's birthday, i mean as a gift, Sey make the man reject am ? Or a situation whereby the woman had finished the house and nw took her husband there and present the keys to him, should the man reject it? I've heard of a man who refused to consent with his wife's ambition to build a house all because the man in question can not boast of having land not to talk of nursing the ambition of building a house. The man na big time enemy of progress. U no get, u no go let person wey wan get get. The husband may leave there and he may not, it depends on the nature of there relationship and how the couple see each other. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Afam4eva(m): 3:50pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
freecocoa: Firstly, how does a woman go off building a house without the consent of her husband?I guess the OP is assuming a house she had before getting married. |
Re: Should A Man Live In A House Built By His Wife? by Celepope: 3:58pm On Oct 28, 2013 |
freecocoa: Firstly, how does a woman go off building a house without the consent of her husband?It happens.Way back when I was in the University I dated a girl that the mum was building a house and their dad did not know.All the children of the woman knew except their father.When I asked her why should the mum engage in such a shameless venture she simply said the mum was building it for them and not the man.Mind you their dad was more well to do and he built a fantastic house where they all live. |
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