Hey it's the weekend,Nairalanders. But wait oo,I no know which of the sections is appropriate for this my thread o,I think I'll just drop it in the Jokes and let the MODs take it from there. Anyways,I wish everyone an awesome weekend. Plan on having a joyful one with my woman,so took her to the mall on Thursday to avoid the typical Friday and weekend rush,and you know women and their shopping ethic. So I decided I'd drive to one of my spots meanwhile and chill out,but while at the spot I opted to stay in the car and enjoy my liquor while I watch peeps get mad and frenzy in the Halloween fiesta. But while sipping on my dark rum my eyes caught site of something that nearly got the booze out my nostrils - Oh you wonder what that could be,well,a lady being chased by some errant kids. Yeah it reminded me of something very similar back in time,my good old naija days-my mischievous,suffer-head,Heckle & Jeckle days......

Was in the mid 90s after secondary school,waiting for my admission into University. I was an 18 year old-looking-25 kinda guy,dark,tall,broad shouldered and muscular - papa was a soldier,Lol. Not gonna go into the details of how we met but folks I used to have this very fine,sassy,hippy,fair-skinned woman in her early 30s I should think who was from Cameroun,but worked on contract in Lagos,she owned a Benz "V-Boot". She probably must have lied to me about her marital status and a few other things then but I didn't care much either. She was a beauty,and at that time rich,or so I should think.

I had no room nor privacy for a woman in my my dad's house(You wan die!?),and no hotels for my village oo,but I had friends back then who had their rooms,and others who were already tenants. But whenever my Hoochie-mama shows up,I'll take her to one of my friend's place where we'll bump and grind. She would only come on a Wednesday(not all Wednesdays,but I looked forward to all Wednesdays) and would do all I could to be available where she picks me up,from 1pm till 5pm. Once it's 6pm,I know she ain't coming. It's how we do. She would park her car at some Car Wash,then we'd stroll to our venue. Man,she spoiled me silly,got my first anal s3x from her(at that age),pair of trainers,trekkers and whatever goody shii!t you can think of. And she got the good boogie bang from me too - and why not,she was hot! I was "earning" some little money off the shii!t,and my friends were kinda cool with me (for we rolled up,and they would borrow my stuff and what not)- Or so I thought...till katakata come burst!

One Wednesday,she came,I got picked up,and we were at the usual,I was getting licked up and shii!t,till... BANG! BANG!! BANG!!! It was a loud knock on the door,incessant and so disturbing,I had to get it. My friend says he needs his room immediately. We got packed up. I knew 2 other guys in the house,one wasn't home the other one said NO WAY! See Gobe!? Ara mi ti gbekan(was in the mood). Then one Ijebu man came out from his room says to me "Look I've been watching you for some time now,if you don't leave this place now I'll beat hell out of you".No be say fear catch me for the guy for if we start,him go know say "Enu o se",but other men dey that house wey fit beat me up join. Then he talks down my woman,clapped and was shouting. Ol boy,before I knew it boys don gather o,even my so called friend no even send me...I was like WTF!? We had to leave in the shame and humiliation - it was a set-up. By that time school children were back home,we got mobbed,the ijebu man made these children sing after us beating and drumming plates and cans - Shii!t! Ol boy dem follow us oo. We gave them money,them no gree go back,we beg them,these pikins dem no gree o,the money she dey give them sef dey pepper me for body,my ration dey shorten.

We got to one Ansaru Deen(Not sure how to spell it) School,we were gonna just pass in front then I thought I had better escape,because after the school na where some women dey sell balewa,condense,tanfiri,ojojo etc. So I told my woman I needed to defecate which she obliged. So I walked to the rear end of the school fence,I was only gonna pee and abscond. But then while peeing I saw some Devil-seeds,I don't know how or what you call it,but in Yoruba Land na "Werepe",stings if it touches your skin and set your body on fire. I no waste time,I carefully used my handkerchief pack am,put sand for my hand squeeze the seeds and pods together while still in the hanky then went back to the scene. By Jove! I sprayed the shii!t on the kids,come see Galala and Marvelous' New Dance...Ol' boy my woman was astounded - No time to explain,grabbed her hand,we ran off.....Omo ko funny ooo

So na so,I just say make I share with una. Happy weekend peeps!

*sniffs* 9ice piece of sh!t man

lol..good old embarassing story