Six lessons of Life

Lesson 1 : Unclad Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she
says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that
towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands Unclad in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,”
shereplies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it
and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration
clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK,
you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
“I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her
legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Matt 7:7?” The priest
removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Matt
7:7?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On
his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Matt 7:7.
.. It said, “Ask, and it shall be given unto you. . . ”
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job,you might miss a great
opportunity.

Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit
asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on
the ground below the crow, and rested.
…A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, youmust be sitting very high up.

Lesson 5:
Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got
the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?”
replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey
pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a
farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As
the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him
out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing
for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cowdung, and promptly dug him out and ate
him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of poo is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep poo, it’s best to keep your mouth
shut !


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