A Programmer's eyes are faster than GOOGLE to searching a Beautiful Girl in Crowd
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A Programmer's heart is slower than INTERNET EXPLORER while Proposing a Girl.

Call Between a Customer and Tech support


Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer:"No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

Girls get 90+ marks in computer science Test but doesn’t know how to format a Pc.
Boys get 40 marks but become professional hacker

Calling yourself a PROGRAMMER
Just because you know HTML is
like...
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Calling yourself an AUTHOR just
because you have a PEN.

Lol nice one.!

hammedkola: Call Between a Customer and Tech support


Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer:"No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

my favourite....thumbs up

A real programmer always takes care of both "if" and "else" cases.

So should we.

Before going to bed a programmer puts on his night stand two glasses: one with water and one empty. When his wife asked him "why?"
he said: "One with water is there in case I wake up at night and I feel thirsty".

"How about the other one?" - still not getting the point asked his wife.

"Oh! This is in case I wake up at night and I am not thirsty!" - replied the coding guru.

hammedkola: A real programmer always takes care of both "if" and "else" cases.

So should we.

Before going to bed a programmer puts on his night stand two glasses: one with water and one empty. When his wife asked him "why?"
he said: "One with water is there in case I wake up at night and I feel thirsty".

"How about the other one?" - still not getting the point asked his wife.

"Oh! This is in case I wake up at night and I am not thirsty!" - replied the coding guru.

hez simply insane!

u go fear where afam google chrome they request for VGA

hammedkola: A real programmer always takes care of both "if" and "else" cases.

So should we.

Before going to bed a programmer puts on his night stand two glasses: one with water and one empty. When his wife asked him "why?"
he said: "One with water is there in case I wake up at night and I feel thirsty".

"How about the other one?" - still not getting the point asked his wife.

"Oh! This is in case I wake up at night and I am not thirsty!" - replied the coding guru.

guy you are good with this. are you sure you should not leave coding for this? keep it coming man.

Fixing stuff the geek way

Wife: honey,James is sick.. he seems to have caught a cold or flu or something..

Programmer husband: try and initiate a manual reboot by making him take a nap, if that doesn't work try flashing the latest version of panadol in him..

20mins Lara

Wife: honeyyyy,non of that worked,he needs a doctor, take a break from that computer and take him to the hospital!!

programmer husband: I'll debug him when am done compiling this code.

Grandma: hey Ralph, since u'r not so busy need u to help me get some stuff from across the road... we need eggs for dinner.. buy 3 eggs,and IF they'v got some softies, buy a crate...


5mins later ,Ralph walks in with a crate of eggs,..

Grandma: I said 3 eggs douche bag!!..not a crate.

Ralph: Maaa! U said to get a crate IF THEY HAVE SOFTIES(soft drinks)


Is it just me or those this guy take if statements 2 seriously.?..

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS MADE IN CHINA ;

1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging.

2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc.

3. Text message can be written with a toothpick.

4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g
NokLa, blackderry, i-porn,
samswag etc.

5. When an aeroplane passes by it records"one
missed call".
6. When a big truck hoots; it records "charger connected".

7. When a Chinese man passes by you it
says"one Bluetooth device found

CODE-EATER:
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS MADE IN CHINA ;

7. When a Chinese man passes by you it
says"one Bluetooth device found

Lol, this last point got me laughing **very funny**

CODE-EATER:
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS MADE IN CHINA ;

1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging.

2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc.

3. Text message can be written with a toothpick.

4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g
NokLa, blackderry, i-porn,
samswag etc.

5. When an aeroplane passes by it records"one
missed call".
6. When a big truck hoots; it records "charger connected".

7. When a Chinese man passes by you it
says"one Bluetooth device found

this is hilarious!

CODE-EATER:
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS MADE IN CHINA ;

1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging.

2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc.

3. Text message can be written with a toothpick.


7. When a Chinese man passes by you it
says"one Bluetooth device found

All these got me laughing

CODE-EATER:
Wife: honey,James is sick.. he seems to have caught a cold or flu or something..


Wife: honeyyyy,non of that worked,he needs a doctor, take a break from that computer and take him to the hospital!!

programmer husband: I'll debug him when am done compiling this code.

How to keep a programmer in the shower all day?

Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

CODE-EATER:
Wife: honey,James is sick.. he seems to have caught a cold or flu or something..

Programmer husband: try and initiate a manual reboot by making him take a nap, if that doesn't work try flashing the latest version of panadol in him..

20mins Lara

Wife: honeyyyy,non of that worked,he needs a doctor, take a break from that computer and take him to the hospital!!

programmer husband: I'll debug him when am done compiling this code.

kwakwakwakwakwa!!!
u don cause trouble o. my neighbours are starting to think something z wrong

Q: Why do programmers always mix up
Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

Q: “Whats the object-
oriented way to become
wealthy?”
A: Inheritance

An error message:
“Keyboard not found …
press F1 to continue”


Your mouse has moved.
The system must reboot
to effect the change!

hammedkola: How to keep a programmer in the shower all day?

Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

hammedkola: How to keep a programmer in the shower all day?

Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah......guy ibeg no kill me wit laffssssss ooooooo.......oboi u funny dieeeeeee.....i dey feel you...i need more ibeg....no worry i go add break 2d method after he don apply am 50 times...

wisemania:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah......guy ibeg no kill me wit laffssssss ooooooo.......oboi u funny dieeeeeee.....i dey feel you...i need more ibeg....no worry i go add break 2d method after he don apply am 50 times...

Break after 50 times.....that's harsh of you

CODE-EATER:
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS MADE IN CHINA ;

1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging.

2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc.

3. Text message can be written with a toothpick.

4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g
NokLa, blackderry, i-porn,
samswag etc.

5. When an aeroplane passes by it records"one
missed call".
6. When a big truck hoots; it records "charger connected".

7. When a Chinese man passes by you it
says"one Bluetooth device found

lwkmdo

omoelu1: Q: Why do programmers always mix up
Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

only funny jokes please

xager:

only funny jokes please

That was funny
Convert 31 in OCTal and You get 25 in DECimal

curiouslad:
That was funny
Convert 31 in OCTal and You get 25 in DECimal

now i get d drill....*very funny*

CODE-EATER:
Wife: honey,James is sick.. he seems to have caught a cold or flu or something..

Programmer husband: try and initiate a manual reboot by making him take a nap, if that doesn't work try flashing the latest version of panadol in him..
20mins Lara

Wife: honeyyyy,non of that worked,he needs a doctor, take a break from that computer and take him to the hospital!!

programmer husband: I'll debug him when am done compiling this code.

dis did got me cracking my ribs....hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahhaahahaha*nice1*

Learner:
Mr Fu-tzu,i have a question to ask you sir.
Mr Fu-tzu:
am listenning.
Learner:
Sir the programmers of old used simple machines and no programming language,yet they made beautiful programs. Why do we use complicated machines and programming language?
Mr Fu-Tzu:
The builders of old used only sticks and clay, yet they made beautiful huts......

If you witness an apple store rubbed, that makes you an [size=13pt]iWitness[/size]

hammedkola: If you witness an apple store rubbed, that makes you an [size=13pt]iWitness[/size]

iLaugh... Lol

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File corrupted !!