There are probably a few raised eyebrows at this title, not that it’s scandalous in and of itself but because it’s coming from me, the worlds anti-swearing advocate.

It’s 1.33 am, I should be sleeping. Honestly, I was heading to dreamland when I received an email from a friend, it contained an interesting excerpt from a letter. Did he send it because he believed my neurotic soul needed it or simply a continuation of our article trading tradition?

The excerpt he sent was taken from “Letter From Sol LeWitt to Eva Hesse”. Please click on this link to read it Letter from Sol Lewitt.

However, since I know most of you are inherently lazy and will not click and read, I’ll share some paragraphs I found powerful.

Learn to say “Bleep You” to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itchin, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rumbling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO!

Did he crawl into my brain? Say “Bleep You” to the world? I’m simply praying that I won’t chicken out after a night’s rest and change the post title. The closest I come to saying “Bleep You” to the world is putting my phone on silent once in a while and ignoring everyone from boss to best friend.

Stop thinking? Worrying? I believe I have an artists soul but a researchers mind. I’m always thinking, planning, analyzing, saving the world, there’s rarely a quiet moment in my head. Yet I have to wonder if I do anything more than “Grind away at myself”. Every time I get into a crazy rigid routine and take away my ability (limited as it is) for spontaneity and fun, I become overwhelmed by a feeling of bleakness, I find myself straining against the reigns of responsibility that hold me and find myself longing to rebel. I live in constant dread of being the 40-year-old woman with orange hair and the micro miniskirt, making futile efforts to reclaim her youth. Yet these fears negate the advice given here or do they?

I’ve tried to practice mindfulness and failed woefully, to free my mind of thought, live in the moment…so hard. I did make some progress with this post, I did not Google Sol LeWitt or Eva Hesse, I’m dying of curiosity to learn about them, I want to know if they are people I should pay attention to. In my over analyzing way, I’m worried about taking advice from someone I do not know, but I’ve stopped myself.

Try and tickle something inside you, your “weird humor.” You belong in the most secret part of you. Don’t worry about cool, make your own uncool. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you – draw & paint your fear and anxiety. And stop worrying about big, deep things such as “to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistant [sic] approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end” You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO!

I honestly think he is trying to screw me over. What if the most secret part of me doesn’t want to come out. Have you ever wondered about who you really are? Can you honestly stare at your reflection in the mirror fully admitting your failures, dark secrets and non PC (politically correct) desires and be happy? Or do you need the self you wear for the world to find satisfaction within? I’m not sure if I’m terribly concerned with being cool or cool, but I do live in this world, the idea of creating mine even through my work is exhilarating yet terrifying. How does one start, what’s the line between narcissism and a world of you own? When do you know if you’ve lost touch with reality? Is reality relative?

The idea of making fear work is fascinating, it answers my earlier question, my fears aren’t wholly negative, they could potentially work for me. I can’t draw or paint to save my life, no level of residing in my own world can change that fact, and I don’t know that I can really stop worrying but I can change how I perceive my worrying. We actually all can do that, everyone draws and paints, maybe not with pencils and oils but a scalpel, words, numbers, clothes, music, we are all painting pictures.

The world tells us that dumb, stupid, unthinking are bad things, not states we aspire to. Yet, some of the greatest inspiration known to mankind have come in the moments of simply being, they haven’t been conceived in laboratories, or classrooms, or by great men hunched over documents on round tables. Instead, they’ve come on the porcelain throne, in the kitchen, in those moments before sleep takes possession of us, they’ve come accidentally, incidentally and unsought.

Try to do some BAD work – the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell – you are not responsible for the world – you are only responsible for your work – so DO IT. And don’t think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working – then stop…But when you work or before your work you have to empty you [sic] mind and concentrate on what you are doing. After you do something it is done and that’s that.

#thatsall


You also must know that you don’t have to justify your work – not even to yourself.

How many times do we feel the need to justify ourselves and our work? Even as I write this post, I’m battling mentally with the idea of it, should it simply be in a diary, is it worth bothering people with my random thoughts? The idea of working, simply letting the inspiration take you where it will without censoring would be freedom itself. Yet, I fear (that word again) that within this instruction to simply DO! there’s an implicit warning to deal with what “doing” brings. Following your creative spirits sounds easy enough, yet who know where those pesky sprites might lead you.

I know I’ll always care to some extent about this world, how people will perceive me and my words, where I’ll be in 10 years, etc. I also know that I’m going to print out this letter, and stick it on my wall where I can always see it, I’ll make it big, bright and pretty. I won’t start cursing like a sailor, because it simply isn’t me and at the end of it all, being you has to be the best way to learn to say “Bleep You”

IOU
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