A colleague of mine has a 14 year old son that is giving her sleepless nights b/c the boy recently became unruly, stupid and breaks all her rules and the worst of it all is that he threatens to beat her up if she stands in his way. This woman has been divorced for about 6 years now, she's about 5 ft tall while her son is over 200lbs and about 6 ft 2. Last night, she raised her hand to slap him(whereever she can reach) and he stopped her midway and warned her sternly not to try it again unless she wants to get whipped. He even called her a bitch. What do you advise this woman to do besides sending him to live with his father because she doesn't want that?

Word!!!

Damn!! He is one bad ass kid. If i was your friend I will have a one on one conversation with him. Instead of using force to solve the problems she have with him, they should sit and talk about it. If that do not work, she should send him to Boot Camp Asap.

I think kids come out worse from the boot camp. He may even turn gay there.

u don't use force on wild children, u talk to them. Words sink in better.

he needs discipline from a man.

Yes he does. Thats awful.

This is what happens in a broken home.

He definately needs his dad

she has spoilt the boy rotten all through the formative years so its getting a bit too late now,tell your friend to deport the boy to his dad's or have a male positive role model who will discipline and mentor him,someone that understnds youngsters but firm n disciplined or else the boy is on his way to join the wha wha in south east london

she has spoilt the boy rotten all through the formative years so its getting a bit too late now,tell your friend to deport the boy to his dad's or have a male positive role model who will discipline and mentor him,someone that understnds youngsters but firm n disciplined or else the boy is on his way to join the wha wha in south east london

There is a little power scuffle between his mother and his father, that's why his dad is out of the picture and the boy will not listen to any of her boyfriends that wants to act like his dad. He's fought some of them before and threatened to burn down their car if he sees them around their house. Will you agree to tutor a boy like this if you are just dating his mother? His mom lost her fiancee because the guy was scared her son will be a stumbling block to his happiness and she told him that if he loves her enough, he should be ready to carry that cross but ijesha man ran away.

DeepZone:

There is a little power scuffle between his mother and his father, that's why his dad is out of the picture and the boy will not listen to any of her boyfriends that wants to act like his dad. He's fought some of them before and threatened to burn down their car if he sees them around their house. Will you agree to tutor a boy like this if you are just dating his mother? His mom lost her fiancee because the guy was scared her son will be a stumbling block to his happiness and she told him that if he loves her enough, he should be ready to carry that cross but ijesha man ran away.

its obvious the boy feels these people are invading his space,you know he has been his mum's favourite man for a long time from what i read of your post he is an only son that equates to not sharing his mum with any man at all,also the boy is being rebellious because he s crying for attention,any boyfriend the woman hooks up with has to give the boy his full attention at the expense of the woman for the first couple of months,know the boy's interests,if he likes football take him out to play football,if he likes games,play games with him,go out to do the fun things he likes with hime.t.c once he can crack the boy's defence,he will gain his respect.

, make the boy feel like he is the focal point and also the man must have a private talk with him that he is not replacing his dad but loves the mum and will treat both of them nice(something we naija dnt do,once the woman says yes,we dont care about the childs feelings) after he gets used to the man trust me the man can be firm and disciplined with him because he wil grow to respect the man by then,he knows the man cares about him and will see him as a positive role model and father figure, i can bet you all these other fiances will prolly try to bribe the boy with money and material stuffs without taking time out to take him out,do the stuffs he likes and most important give him enough attention which is the main cause of the rebellion,no child is born evil theres always a reason it nly takes uderstanding them

its obvious the boy feels these people are invading his space,you know he has been his mum's favourite man for a long time from what i read of your post he is an only son that equates to not sharing his mum with any man at all,also the boy is being rebellious because he s crying for attention,any boyfriend the woman hooks up with has to give the boy his full attention at the expense of the woman for the first couple of months,know the boy's interests,if he likes football take him out to play football,if he likes games,play games with him,go out to do the fun things he likes with hime.t.c once he can crack the boy's defence,he will gain his respect.

, make the boy feel like he is the focal point and also the man must have a private talk with him that he is not replacing his dad but loves the mum and will treat both of them nice(something we naija dnt do,once the woman says yes,we don't care about the childs feelings) after he gets used to the man trust me the man can be firm and disciplined with him because he wil grow to respect the man by then,he knows the man cares about him and will see him as a positive role model and father figure, i can bet you all these other fiances will prolly try to bribe the boy with money and material stuffs without taking time out to take him out,do the stuffs he likes and most important give him enough attention which is the main cause of the rebellion,no child is born evil theres always a reason it nly takes uderstanding them

It's obvious that sons need their fathers to come out right in most cases. I can't imagine my younger brothers calling my mother a bitch. What is happening to the new generation of yoruba children born and bred abroad? It's against the yoruba culture to curse an elder how much less your own mother.

did u say 14?
my dear bone all this talk about words sinking
the pikin need serious beating
too bad that i am no where near there
i go offer to flog the lion outa him.

DeepZone:

It's obvious that sons need their fathers to come out right in most cases. I can't imagine my younger brothers calling my mother a bitch. What is happening to the new generation of yoruba children born and bred abroad? It's against the yoruba culture to curse an elder how much less your own mother.

times have changed from these times and looking back now ,we know our parents wernt totally right with the beatings,its when we started travelling out or enlightened generally that we discovered beating a child with koboko,leather belt e.t.c is child abuse and treating the child almost like a beast of burden and it does more harm than good in the long run

the problem with most parents is that they dont take care of the kids attitude all through the formative years and then start running up and down when the child has grown up which will be more difficult and requires patience and long suffering,and lets be honest,the examples parents of today set for these children is diffrent from wht our parents set for us,for instance i just learnt less than 5 yrs ago that my dad drank ber once a while,because as disciplined as he was he kept it hidden,remember in naija ou dont move out of the house till you are either getting married as a girl or got a proper job and rented an ok place as a guy, but here parents let the western world get to their heads and tell their daughter/son to go get a place soon as he turns 18 because its the western waye.t.c

children growing up without a father figure tend to end up like that.

I suggest she just shuts her doors and tells him not to come home again.

izeek:

did u say 14?
my dear bone all this talk about words sinking
the pikin need serious beating
too bad that i am no where near there
i go offer to flog the lion outa him.

and u really think that will make him change?
i was flogged with everything imaginable,yet i didnt change,it will only made the child stronger,for me its only all these waking people up at 5am in the morning and advicing that i avoid,with beating i will do everything bad i need to do because i know its not more than beating

really
well from ur own assessment, how did u turn out?
good or bad?
me thinks the beating helped.

children growing up without a father figure tend to end up like that.

I suggest she just shuts her doors and tells him not to come home again.

Hello!!! He's still a minor and that action may send him to his fathers doors thereby making his mom the loser. I don't think she's mentally ready to pay child support on that useless boy.

and u really think that will make him change?
i was flogged with everything imaginable,yet i didnt change,it will only made the child stronger,for me its only all these waking people up at 5am in the morning and advicing that i avoid,with beating i will do everything bad i need to do because i know its not more than beating

No argument here bro, beating and I mean serious beating is the best antidote for unruly kids. Spare the rod and spoil the child. There are kids(especially girls) that will still turn out well and very responsible even if they grew up in the streets of Brooklyn with nobody to beat them for even once but don't count on that.

maybe women shld think more seriously about the consequences of "single motherhood". Its more than a fancy term.

This was a divorce though

not some kid out of wedlock

DeepZone:

Hello!!! He's still a minor and that action may send him to his fathers doors thereby making his mom the loser. I don't think she's mentally ready to pay child support on that useless boy.

Mentally ready to pay child support.  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha     
i go laugh die. Is that the issue?

@ post

She can not take on his behaviour on her own. Unless she is waiting on a miracle from God, she'll need the help of either his father or a male role model that is willing. That doesn't mean he will automatically listen to either, considering how stubborn some teenagers can be these days, but still, two or more hands are better than one.

One way or the other he needs to learn how to respect his mother because the way he's treating her is just disgraceful. It depends on what she is willing to do, send him back home for a while to be disciplined or find something he is interested in say sports or music and get him to channel his energy into it while showing him that you support him along the way. Just anyway you can communicate with him get him to open up without the anger, on his part, then work your in from there. I just hope one day he'll be ashamed of his behaviour

Mentally ready to pay child support. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Grin Cheesy Smiley Wink Cheesy Grin Cheesy Wink Smiley Smiley Wink Grin Cheesy Wink Smiley Wink Cheesy Grin Grin Grin Grin
i go laugh die. Is that the issue?

You know it's a very bad thing when both parents are at cold war on who wins with respect to the kids. The woman is either telling her children to hate their dad or the man is trying to alienate the children from their mom(which is very rare and obtainable mostly in the Nigerian society).

If she releases the boy to his dad, the man will come after her ass for child support.

maybe women shld think more seriously about the consequences of "single motherhood". Its more than a fancy term.

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The inconvenient truth!!![/size]

send him back home for a while to be disciplined

That is out of the question for the following reasons:

1) She complained that her sister that lives in Cleveland did the same thing with her daughter but quickly brought her back to States because she complained a lot that their elder sister in Abuja over burdened her with household chores and she'll not stand her own son being treated like a beast of burden.

2) Because of the power tussle with her ex husband, he may declare those kids kidnapped if she tries a thing like that and she seriously doubt if he'll agree for her to send them back home to her relatives.Again, she won't like to send her kids to her ex husbands relatives either.

I think the boys healing will start if both parents lay aside their differences and work together for the benefit of their five children(4 boys and a girl). She's also scared the younger boys may follow suit if their elder brother continues this way.

My dear

Tell your friend to take the child on a vacation to Nigeria for 1 month.

Upon landing here, she should walk up to the first mobile police officer she sees and report the boy, then give the police officer a 20 dollar tip to please dicipline her son. I promise you that boy will never remain the same again.
Can you imagine the insolence, a 14 year old calling his mum a bitch?? I am way way older than he is and I still cant say DAMN! in front of my pops let alone call someone a bitch i front of them. I dont believe in boot camp. The mum should tie the kid to the bed while he sleeps and beat the impudence out of him. American parents virtually spoil there kids rotten at their young age and when the kids are barely 16, they already have the balls to talk back to their parents.


Spare the whip and you get a lion.

Okija_juju:

My dear

Tell your friend to take the child on a vacation to Nigeria for 1 month.

Upon landing here, she should walk up to the first mobile police officer she sees and report the boy, then give the police officer a 20 dollar tip to please dicipline her son. I promise you that boy will never remain the same again.
Can you imagine the insolence, a 14 year old calling his mum a bitch?? I am way way older than he is and I still can't say DAMN! in front of my pops let alone call someone a bitch i front of them. I don't believe in boot camp. The mum should tie the kid to the bed while he sleeps and beat the impudence out of him. American parents virtually spoil there kids rotten at their young age and when the kids are barely 16, they already have the balls to talk back to their parents.


Spare the whip and you get a lion.

" " i don laff fall for ground at this post!

and i totally agree!

@ poster

What is your business with whatever is going on in your colleague's house? Why don't you start thinking of your home instead? Busy body!

hmmmm