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Paul Bassey: Hillarious Conversation With A Golden Eaglet Parent. - Sports - Nairaland

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Paul Bassey: Hillarious Conversation With A Golden Eaglet Parent. by Ipheyemmy01(m): 11:10am On Nov 25, 2013
Telephone rings…….
Chief Effiong……Hello who is this?
Alhaji Maigari...If I am on to Chief Effiong, I
am Aminu Maigari the President of the NFF
Chief Effiong….Ah interesting how are you?
You are the one who wants to teach me
how to manage my son? When I bought him
his first ball when he was three years old
where were you? At age six, I got him a
football boot because I knew he was
destined for greatness.
You needed to be at my house on that day
of the final. Over fifty people came to watch
the match with me. Neighbours, relatives
and well wishers they all came.
And my wife had to cook for all of them
because we knew there was going to be a
celebration at the end of the match.
Do you know how much we spent for food
and the drinks?
Without consulting me as the father, you
went and wrote the two million naira
cheque in his name. Do you know how
much we spend every time he plays? You
went and wrote a two million naira cheque
in the name of a 16 year old?
I want to return the cheque so that you can
reissue it in my name.
Alhaji Maigari.….on the contrary sir, I advice
that you use the cheque to open an account
in his name, so that as he grows up you can
help him to invest and….
Chief Effiong.. ( cuts in ) Invest what? I have
told you what we have put in so far to bring
him to this level and you want to put enmity
between me and my son?
Alhaji Maigari….God forbid sir. In fact that is
why I called to first of all congratulate you
for siring a child who has the potential of
becoming a great footballer if properly
nurtured
Chief Effiong….Did you hear when I told you
that I knew he was going to be great? Look
if not for injury, today I would have been
one of Nigeria’s best footballers. I played for
my primary school and I was always the one
called upon to take corner kicks…
Alhaji Maigari….No wonder your son is so
good. Congrats Sir. As earlier said we will
find time to sit with you and discuss how
best to handle your son’s future, because
right from UAE, we noticed the influx of
scouts who we believe can short circuit the
future of these boys if we do not intervene.
Chief Effiong…listen Alahaji Maigari, I am not
a novice, I know what is good for my son
and I do not need you to tell me about his
future…
Alhaji Maigari.….hold on sir, talk to the
Honourable Sports Minister.
Chief Effiong….Hon Minister, are you one of
those who want to reap from where you
did not sow?
Hon Minister…..I beg your pardon
Chief…..reap from where we did not sow? If
you must know. We are the ones that have
sowed. This country invested millions in
those children. For the past three years we
have given them the best in terms of
comfort of living and personal development.
I don’t know about your son, but nearly all
those kids stayed in hotels for the first time
when we took them over. None of them had
flown in an aircraft before. Since we
adopted them they have benefited the best
of training from first class coaches and
international academies.
Ask them about the Aspire Academy in
Dubai, five star hotels, best of airlines……they
owe this country Sir you owe us for
bringing your child to the level where he has
become a global celebrity…dines with
Presidents, met face to face with Mr Vice
President, Senate President, Speaker of The
House, Ministers…..
Chief Effiong ….Hon Minister, I withdraw my
statement.. I think you have a point there…..I
apologise. In fact it was when he always
came back from camp that we discovered
he could eat rice with a fork and knife.
Hon Minister.…Apology accepted. Sir I asked
the NFF President to call you because I
heard, and authoritatively too, that an agent
offered you one million naira which you
collected….
Chief Effiong….Don’t go there….don’t just go
there. A whole country gave my son two
million naira, an individual brought one
million naira and you are querying me…?
Hon Minister…The federal Government’s
donation was an appreciation, one that is
bound to open the flood gates for more of
such. The one million naira from the agent
may be an invitation to slavery, a bet that
you may regret…..
Chief Effiong …What makes you think you
people are the only ones that know about
football?
Hon Minister.…Far from it, we are not the
only ones, but this is our culture medium.
We plan and sincerely too to bring together
experts in the business to sit down with all
the parents of the kids and the kids
themselves to advice on the way forward.
We have multiples examples of bright
youngsters whose careers were destroyed
by self seeking and selfish agents. We do not
want that to happen to this glorious bunch
at our disposal.
Let me also congratulate you for being the
father of such a wonderful footballer as I
hand you back to the NFF President
Alhaji Maigari….So sir we are planning to
come and see you.
Chief Effiong….Are you coming alone?
Alhaji Maigari…No sir, I am likely to come
with one of the coaches and the chairman
of the technical committee of the NFF. In fact
if possible with other members of that
committee including Chairman Christian
Chukwu, JJ Okocha, Victor Ikpeba, Garba
Lawal…….those who have seen it all and are
in a position to give wise counsel…….we also
have your country man Paul Bassey in that
committee
Chief Effiong……Ah Paul Bassey….we are
proud of him. Tell him I saw him on Tv
during the Algeria Burkina Faso match. He
has added weight…..he is chopping FIFA
money….
Alhaji Maigari....We thought so too but when
we confronted him he said the cold forced
him to wear two jackets that is why he
appeared fat…
Chief Effiong …..None of you will admit to
chopping money until we catch you with oil
on your lips. On a serious note, let me know
when you will come because we must
celebrate with a feast
Alhaji Maigari…..Sir, that will not be
necessary. What we are coming for is
serious, bordering on the future of your
child and of course the sustained sports
glory of this country.
Chief Effiong….My friend we in this part of
this country are noted for culinary
excellence ask Paul Bassey. Do you know
what it means to be visited by the Award
winning NFF president? I am not talking
about all those junk you eat in hotels….I am
talking about home made buffet that
includes afangsoup, edikang ikon, white
soup with goat meat to go with pounded
yam, fresh fish pepper soup……..do you eat
dog meat?
Alhaji Maigari…..No thanks I don’t like it.
Chief Effiong… What is no thanks? How can
you not like what you have not tasted? The
day you eat well prepared dog meat with
unripe plantain to boot that day you will
bow…..
Alhaji Maigari…(..laughter)……I pray that day
does not come ( more laughter) so sir in
summary of what the Honourable minister
said, it is our desire and the wish of all
Nigerians that these boys be guided and
monitored for a better tomorrow. Rather
than collect a one million that is like a one
off…
Chief Effiong….President, forget this one
million….forget it. I have collected it and have
spent it, except you want to refund it…
Alhaji Maigari…..Sir I was saying that rather
than collecting a one off, we will prefer a
500,000 thousand that will come again and
again…..I give you the classic case of Mikel
Obi and how two great clubs Man U and
Chelsea were fighting for him. On paper,
Man U was the better choice, but a lot of
other factors were taken into consideration
in counseling him, including playing
regularly and the presence of Africans in the
team that will help him settle down faster,
and today Mikel is one of the world’s
greatest footballers whose profile rises
daily…
Chief Effiong….Alhaji Maigari, I am not dumb,
I appreciate all you are trying to say…..my
only concern is that you people should
consider the interest of the parents in all
that you do. I could not have invested so
much in a child only for you to come and
issue a two million naira cheque in his
name..
Alhaji Maigari….Sir, again this is a one off.
What we are saying here is a stable future.
Go to Jos and see what Mikel has done to his
parents and siblings…..Kanu, Okocha, Finidi
George, Obafemi Martins. With the benefit of
proper counseling and good upbringing,
even the sky will not be his limit…. Chief
Effiong…Anyway, money is like a spirit. If you
don’t have, no problem, but the moment it
enters your hand you feel like taking a big
bottle of stout with every meal. Besides this
agent looked quite honest and serious…
Alhaji Maigari…..Sir we are not saying all
agents are bad. By the time we know who
you are dealing with, he may just be
someone we can trust.
Chief Effiong….Ok till you come. You people
must bring something for me and my
wifeoooooo. You are busy chopping CAF
and FIFA money
Alhaji Maigari….( laughter )Have I also added
weight? You must be a very interesting
person.
Chief Effiong….See let me tell you, did you see
that first goal my son scored? That was me
in my youth. All I needed from my team
mates was for them to put the ball in my left
leg and off I went. My nick name was
okokobioko…….

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