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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / The Escaped Convict-very Funny (828 Views)
The Escaped Convict / The Photographer Who Took This Picture Barely Escaped With His Life / Haba! Convict Or Vindicate Him? (2) (3) (4)
The Escaped Convict-very Funny by tobiit(m): 4:46pm On Jul 24, 2008 |
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by Abbygyal(f): 4:49pm On Jul 24, 2008 |
lmao |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by tobiit(m): 5:01pm On Jul 24, 2008 |
Here's another one Glad to be drunk A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled." |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by mohawkchic(f): 5:12pm On Jul 24, 2008 |
~ ~ |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by clemcykul(f): 10:05am On Jul 25, 2008 |
*grins* |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by chioya(f): 10:15am On Jul 25, 2008 |
@poster 1st cool 2nd - still thinking |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by segunpc(m): 10:57am On Jul 25, 2008 |
both jokes cool. |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by tobiit(m): 11:30am On Jul 25, 2008 |
@chioya Rate my 2nd joke and I will release another bomb Thanks Segs |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by kayemjay(m): 11:33am On Jul 25, 2008 |
2nd joke is silly. but 1st joke is great. rotflmbo Eh yah. I pity the man yansh |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by akinsadeez(m): 12:16pm On Jul 25, 2008 |
The first joke was really funny.Keep it up man, |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by tobiit(m): 12:19pm On Jul 25, 2008 |
Huh Hun and here comes another, The bride and her husband at first Night The bride tells her husband The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison. And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again." Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY! |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by Mustay(m): 12:24pm On Jul 25, 2008 |
tobiit: Next time, he'll choose a better description! |
Re: The Escaped Convict-very Funny by oyinyechi(f): 12:42pm On Jul 25, 2008 |
Nice |
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