sapien: Would a fiancee beater not turn to a wife beater at the end of the day?

Ishilove: Some women sha. Has she sought the face of God in this whole issue? She loves him but it is not only love that sustains a marriage o.

Heavens will shake and be rent apart the day a man hits me. If I can't hit him back, my brothers will help me beat the spirit of woman bashing out of his body.

fellis:

What I meant was, is there any man who doesn't have at least one of the traits on that list? Is there any one who is completely free of all the qualities there?
I don't think so.
No offense to anyone.

sapien: *In Janelle Monae's voice* The Electric woman!

bukatyne:

i understood you perfecting and i am telling you that there are a lot of good men out there

PocketEconomist: My answer? He cannot change, at least spontaneously. Why? That's because it is a habit and as an adult, to stop habits like this is very difficult. Permit me to link it to cheating. A cheating man before marriage will most likely cheat after marriage. A man who is used to getting down with multiple women is more likely to cheat than one who has developed a culture of self control and sticking to a partner before marriage. So in conclusion, a woman beater before marriage will most likely be a wife beater after marriage. Dats All.

bellong:

What is there to pray about? That God should change him or what? My sister God cannot be mocked. Every man will live with the consequences of his/her choice. With all the glaring evidences prior to the wedding, she shook her head and expecting God to perform magic?

There is a reason God did not create robots but Humans with BRAIN

henrimoto: see, a woman that decides to marry a man that beats a woman at every little provocation because of his material possesions and provisions, is like some one that decide to visit a ritual herbalist for wealth. it (wealth) comes, but it does nt come with the desired peace of mind. to my beautiful ladies, peace of mind/happiness is priceless! when you don't have it, you cann't buy it!

Ishilove: Some women sha. Has she sought the face of God in this whole issue? She loves him but it is not only love that sustains a marriage o.

My neighbour tried it with his wife in public. They were having an argument about his shady movements. The next thing we know, he slapped the woman. The woman screamed and before our very eyes, she replied the man with two even hotter slaps. SLAKPATA!!

The guy 'fell under the power' and landed on ground. The sharp woman quickly gathered her skirts and fled to a neighbour's house. My guy scale fence com enter the farm beside his compound and brought out the biggest stick he could lay his hands on and went in pursuit of Oyedepo's 'daughter' . He went to the compound where she was hiding and started banging on the gate. By this time the neighbours had seen enough and quickly went to drag him away from the gate. As they were dragging him, he was screaming "Leave me! I will finish her!! I will kill her!!!!"

Who sai. The koko be sey the man don chop beta slap in front of efribodi.

That's what these women beaters need. A woman who will slap the teeth out of their mouth each time they raise their fist to punch. The heavens will shake and be rent asunder the day a man hits me. If I can't hit him back, my brothers will help me beat the spirit of woman bashing out of his body.

sapien: Ishi, was the lady in this scenario Oyedepo's daughter for real?

Sweetlemon: I don't know why people equate financial generosity with being caring.

Please abeg. They are two different things entirely. Can you call a rich man who lavishes money on a lady but has done juju to take her womb, destiny, etc away from her "caring"

Please money is just one of the ways of showing that you care. A man who cares about a woman does not even want to see her hurt, not to talk of being the cause of her pain!

Ladies get that into your skulls!

Ishilove: Some women sha. Has she sought the face of God in this whole issue? She loves him but it is not only love that sustains a marriage o.

My neighbour tried it with his wife in public. They were having an argument about his shady movements. The next thing we know, he slapped the woman. The woman screamed and before our very eyes, she replied the man with two even hotter slaps. SLAKPATA!!

The guy 'fell under the power' and landed on ground. The sharp woman quickly gathered her skirts and fled to a neighbour's house. My guy scale fence com enter the farm beside his compound and brought out the biggest stick he could lay his hands on and went in pursuit of Oyedepo's 'daughter' . He went to the compound where she was hiding and started banging on the gate. By this time the neighbours had seen enough and quickly went to drag him away from the gate. As they were dragging him, he was screaming "Leave me! I will finish her!! I will kill her!!!!"

Who sai. The koko be sey the man don chop beta slap in front of efribodi.

That's what these women beaters need. A woman who will slap the teeth out of their mouth each time they raise their fist to punch. The heavens will shake and be rent asunder the day a man hits me. If I can't hit him back, my brothers will help me beat the spirit of woman bashing out of his body.

byvan: Only fight back when you have a pistol ,lets see how manly he ll be with a nozzle aimed directly at his skull.

alutacontinua:
Since you're sure that this lady's parents have correct head on their neck, could you please ANONYMOUSLY tip them off dt dey're abt to give their daughter out to a beater?
As CC said, no matter what you say, she'll nit listen. Best thing is to come up with a plan that would not implicate you and let her parents know the situation of tinz.


I know you might wonder why you'll go that far, but trust me, if d man kills her orlands her in hospital, as a friend, u'll also bear some of it!

sapien:
I decided to post this topic here because I know I'll get mature responses.
I have a high school 'girlfriend' who is engaged and about getting married to her fiance of a year and half in a couple of months, precisely April, next year. She is 25 years old. The problem, however, is that the guy hits and slaps her at the slightest provocation and she is really getting worked up and pondering on calling off the wedding. Though, she says the guy is generous and highly caring but his bad temper is the only turn-off in him. She really loves him. She also doesn't have the guts to tell her parents about the constant slapping and hitting from the guy as it is apparent that they will support calling off the marriage. Her aunt, however, is encouraging her to go into the marriage since the guy is caring and generous. The aunt says the guy might change after the wedding, especially if the lady(my friend) can get pregnant as early as possible. Moreso, they have spent a whole lot of money on the wedding preparation and other miscellaneous. Please, Family section married folks, what advise should I give her? Does she call off the wedding or go ahead and marry the guy with the hope that he'll change? Would a fiancee beater not turn to a wife beater at the end of the day?

Onegai:
But why are we telling this girl not to marry this man? Doesn't she want to join that happy club of Nigerian wives who are praying, ignoring, docile, scared, fearful and looking beautiful in public?

OP, please tell your friend this:

"My dear, welcome to the club that is Nigerian Abusive marriage. Yes, he's beating you now, but I assure you it's going to get worse after marriage.

Who cares! At least you will have that big black jeep, holidays in Dubai and N100,000 brazilian weave on your hair and all the bleaching creame Fifi, Pelle and Mama Tega can mix, you will be the envy of your poor friends (whose husbands don't beat them, btw).

May I recommend the services of a good makeup artist and brands like Black Up, Maybelline and House of Tara? You're going to need lots of makeup to cover up those bruises, darling.

And the rest of the ladies in the Nigerian Abusive Marriage club will also tell you to have good nannies on standby: someone has to take the kids to that posh school in Ikoyi/Lekki in the morning whilst your swollen face is healing from all the pounding the night before.

Eventually he will graduate to beating you up for daring to ask him why he's cheating, so get ready to have a trendy pastor from an upscale church on speed-dial.

Your life is gonna be awesome!"

signed, all the really wealthy society ladies I know, including those whom we called the police for their hubbies, those whom we offered the spare bedroom to sleep (and escape from their angry hubbies), those whom I called the brother that's a doctor to help set bones (while she told her friends "she fell down the stairs", those whom their husbands slapped them publicly at their offices/shops for daring to challenge their gfs and all those ones looking stunning in the mall and at Ebeano and Spar and on the pages of Bella Naija and Thisday style.

Only one gave herself brain and is now fighting for a divorce. I think it was because she moved to England and 7 years later, got the courage to take him to court. And her abusive hubby is determined to NOT let her go. Lord knows why.