I can't remember the date it happened, not that it is even necessary in story telling anyway. My gang of friends (they deserve no introduction) and I was busy playing a FIFA13 tournament on OUR PS3 console. Did you notice the 'our'? Yes, that's because WE donated for the cause.
Normally I was supposed to be winning the tournament, but I didn't know what happened that day. At first, I drew my first game (I read no meaning to that) and then lost the second game to kingsley..Ahhh! Then I knew something was wrong. Either my pad was bad (of course) or something was ACTUALLY wrong.
Yes the second suggestion was right, something was really wrong. PHCN had set the ball rolling by making their presence felt. They didn't take the light (stop jumping to conclusion), they actually SEIZED power. It was a total black out and it was 8pm in the evening. The group were disappointed (you guessed right, I was not among), so we decided to weigh other options just to finish the day....So much for our joblessness.
So many options were thrown in the air, Someone suggested we go fishing (in a town with no river, I mean!), the other said clubbing. Someone 'almost' suggested that we go skydiving (ok, I exaggerated)...But majority of us went for a local bar. We didn't choose the bar because their beers are cold or cheap, NO! We simple chose the bar because of their 'FISH'.
Let's digress a lil. This 'fish' is no ordinary fish! I mean how would you call a fish with crispy chips in its tummy, 'ingredients of life' and an aroma that can wake a convulsed baby ordinary?...A jail term should be appropriate for such an offense. The fish was very expensive (a thousand naira is on the high side), but we care less because of the love we had for the fish....We are in no man's land, let's go back to the gist (sorry story).
So we all settled for the local bar but we had a challenge. Paul's car was the only vehicle available for the 'flight', so we just had to squeeze in (calm down, we are rich). Normally in that condition, a 30mins drive will look like a hour drive mentally...trust me, the fish was worth the stress.
We arrived at the bar at exactly 8.50pm. Funny enough, we didn't know the name of this bar (ok, that's not funny) and no one was willing to know. But we call it 'The Ghost Arena'...You must be wondering why 'The Ghost arena'?. We always had different versions of what happened at the bar the next morning (mine was ALWAYS the correct version).
Three bottles and one fish each, and we were already on our free flow (not the other kind of flow, we are males!). The quiet paul normally becomes the loudest rapper...such a drunk talent. Our exciting behaviours had come into play(such fun), but I was calm (don't argue).
We were on our fourth bottle when paul *(our personal driver)* started puking, so we decided to call it a day. Since I was calm, I decided to drive us back home (that was the mistake).


I went inside the car, put on my seat belt, asked them to 'hop' in, and then zoomed off. I tried as much as possible to drive very carefully and slowly, but for some weird reasons which I don't know, the speedometer was locked at 120km/hr (I swear, I wasn't drunk). I strongly think the steering was bad because the car was waving.
Our destination should be Ugbowo, but somehow we were in a very popular street in benin. A tiny street full of bicycle tyres and spokes, and small shops with funny white curtains. But one thing made the street really popular, as a male you always hear whispers and phrases like 'fine boy come' when you pass by. During the day, you'll hear the whispers without seeing the face behind the whisper (they stay behind the curtain), while at night you'll see the face (and body of course) without any whisper required.
We found ourselves (okay the others were asleep) in ugbague street, a popular LovePeddler zone in benin. It wasn't planned for (but hey, who cares!). Girls with sexy wears and extremely light clothes were all over the street, they were deliberately exposing their 'vital' body parts for potential male suitors.
They were all over the road 'styling' and sampling their 'products' but I wasn't interested (trust me). Suddenly the speedometer was good again, it dropped drastically to 20km/hr. It was like magic (who said miracles don't happen at night), I was carried away by a beautiful white curtain. But in front of the curtain was an aggressive but extremely sexy lady.
She was waving at me and the car stopped by itself. She came forward, leaned towards my door with her cleavage gloriously staring at me. My eyes were pleased with what was staring at them, and as a healthy gentleman, the 'little boy inside me' stood up for recognition. I was speechless.
"You no dey talk?", she said aggressively. But I was still dumb, I could barely think. She flaunted her products gracefully and continued, "If I finish with you today, you go know say your girlfriend dey learn". On hearing that, I was very excited but still dumb. "I go give you style when you never see before, you go dey find me everyday", she said in an aggressive manner. This time I had already urinated at the toilet bowl in front of my seat (I saw the toilet bowl!).
"You no dey talk??", she asked aggressively. "Abi you dey doubt me? Ask dem for here, dem know me. I don get 20yrs experience for this work, I go suck you well"...ahh! "20yrs". Instantly, my 'little man' shrinked, the car started and drove off by itself (it was as if the car knew I was only 19).
The car was driving at a very high speed. This time I wasn't sure of who the driver was, but I was still sitting at the driver's seat. The LovePeddler's voice was still playing in my head, I could see her face.
Finally, the car came to a halt after colliding with a very 'petit' structure. My passengers at the back all woke up at once, laughed loudly and slept back again.
Sorry I have to stop writing, Its time to take my injection. Paul is still unconscious at the other ward, I don't know about the rest. I hate this clinic!