Shakey went to a psychiatrist.
"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it.
I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it.
Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the Doctor.
"Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever

come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

A lady walked into a drugstore in CALABAR and told the CHEMIST she needed some POISON right away. The CHEMIST naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need POISON?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The CHEMIST's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you POISON to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not—you cannot have any POISON!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the CHEMIST's wife.

The CHEMIST looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."wait let me get the bottle.

sam sam, always keeping it real