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Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? - Family - Nairaland

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Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by pspeak: 10:53am On Aug 29, 2008
Guys! What were the most annoying things your parents did to you while you were growing up?
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by pspeak: 5:28am On Aug 30, 2008
I think one way is by punishing them unjustly
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by olanajim(m): 6:34am On Aug 30, 2008
For example?
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by ifyalways(f): 7:51am On Aug 30, 2008
huh
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by olanajim(m): 2:54pm On Aug 30, 2008
Some people just open thread without thinking. I wonder why.
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by pspeak: 7:02pm On Aug 30, 2008
@olanajim

[tr]Some people just open thread without thinking. I wonder why.[/tr]

You don't need to wonder for long my dear, because you just made a less than courteous statement. I simply asked a simple straight-forward question.

Were you ever spanked for something you didn't do just because your parents assumed you were the culprit or because they never gave you an opportunity to defend yourself?

Were you ever mad at them? If you were or knew someone who was, would you still wonder if this thread was opened "without thinking"?

Please lets respect ourselves. Thanks.
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by syren: 10:15pm On Aug 30, 2008
@ topic

not being there  angry  grin
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by pspeak: 6:52pm On Aug 31, 2008
@ Syren

I agree. Children need attention and a parent's presence. When they don't, they start misbehaving; even if it's just to get a negative attention from you.
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by iice(f): 2:58am On Sep 01, 2008
My parents have their irritating moments grin Nothing to it, we let it pass.
I wouldnt say that they provoked us coz we were mighty stubborn grin still are grin but sometimes, the endless talks were unnecessary.
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by KarmaMod(f): 3:04am On Sep 01, 2008
iice:

My parents have their irritating moments grin Nothing to it, we let it pass.
I wouldnt say that they provoked us because we were mighty stubborn grin still are grin but sometimes, the endless talks were unnecessary.


Tell me about it. Talk about annoying.

I'll add 'guilt trips" to the list.
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by cnnnigeria: 9:41am On Sep 01, 2008
This topic is an interesting one, maybe because i have a similar problem.
Since last year i have been battling an issue with my mother.
It has been hell, it is just God.
Will you ever marry a guy you don't love because your mother feel he is the best for you and that she can read on the guy face that he really love you.
It has gotten to a stage whereby my mother cries almost everyday, don't you think there is something behind it that i don't know?
Please i need you advice cos am dieing here.
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by olanajim(m): 11:26am On Sep 01, 2008
Cnnigeria,
that is neither provocation nor injustice. Your case is very common. Serious, though.

Most children fell in the wrong side of life because their parents insist on taking certain decision for the children that ended badly. Yet, we know that many children had become great because their parents "forced" them to do things that made them great. It is relative.

When there is a clash between a grown up child and parent, then it must be dealt with with utmost maturity. Admittedly some parents are stubborn and are only interested in their own good.

Sometimes, they tend to reason in the light of their own growing years forgetting that time changes.

My suggestion to you is to sit your mum down. Don't fight her. I did the same when I was faced with that situation.

Ask her:
why she think the particular lady is best for you and what she saw in her.
Why she imagine that your feeling don't matter.
What she will do if you marry the lady and ended up having problem with the lady. Will she be happy?
Why she think you are not grown up enough to know who you love etc

Keep her busy with questions that would make her think deeply. Let her know it is not in your interest , or hers for you to have a broken home. You must also realize that you are taking responsibility for any choice you make.

Evaluate your lady, if she is what you want, then you have to "sell'' her to your parents. Try your dad or an elderly who can influence your mum. Let them trash it. Talk, listen, to them. But DO WHAT YOU THINK IS THE BEST FOR YOU.

@iice,
that is great!
Re: Why Do Parents Provoke Their Kids So Much? by pspeak: 1:40pm On Sep 01, 2008
Olanajim's suggested line of action should also be supported by fervent prayer, not only for her but for you, too, so you know when the right person comes along.

While you're asking all the questions "olanajim" suggested, try to listen for fears she might be having concerning your decision. Sometimes, parents pester you for reasons other than the ones they are really giving you. Pry. Go beneath the surface and calmly address those fears with words of hope.

I'll suggest you look for a perfect time to do this. A time when both of you are not tired and you're not likely to be disturbed. 2am is a good time, but be sensitive.

Let's know how things turn out. May the Lord strengthen you.

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