Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu

Dear brothers and sisters in Islam,

I would like to talk about things on my mind. I do not claim to be a scholar so feel free to add Quranic verse that support or go against my thoughts.

Our Children,

Hmmnnn ,
I take a deep breath because I ask, What plans are we making for our children? Saving for their education? Yes, Building houses and amassing wealth so they do not suffer? good too! But are we doing what is crucial both for living in this world and in the hereafter?

"Oh yes, I send my kids to the madrassah and the mosque, they do not miss their prayers etc etc, " I hear some of you say.

Next question is do they know WHY?

The best gifts to give to the children - in my not-so-humble opinion - include leading by example (children are more observant than many adults are wont to admit) and give them the best education we can afford. The type of education should be one that encourages reasoning and thinking things through rather than learning things by rote. A good education prepares the children for life. The acquisition of knowledge is a step before its application; it is not for nothing that it is said that one ought to go as far as China (?) in search of knowledge. We could address specifics and the topic as others contribute and as related questions arise.

One useful write-up has this:

SIX ETIQUETTES OF LEARNING
Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah- rahimahullaah - said:
"There are six stages to knowledge:
Firstly: Asking questions in a good manner.
Secondly: Remaining quiet and listening attentively.
Thirdly: Understanding well.
Fourthly: Memorising.
Fifthly: Teaching.
Sixthly- and it is its fruit: Acting upon the knowledge and keeping to its limits."

Insightful, in my humble opinion.
.

Save your soul and those of your family from the fire!

May Allaah continue to protect us and our children. Aamiin

Check this:  

http://www.islamtoday.com/showme2.cfm?cat_id=35&sub_cat_id=586

Oh yes, I send my kids to the madrassah and the mosque, they do not miss their prayers etc etc, " I hear some of you say.

Next question is do they know WHY?

Salaam Ayinba1

Thats  a very interesting Question, some families let the kids know, why they pray, why they attend Madrasah, when they should start practicing Fasting at age 7, and why they must love the prophet of Islam.


Like Nimshi stated, Kids are very observant and most want to do what they see elders doing without even knowing why they are doing it.

Its always nice  for parents to take out time, maybe after magrib prayers daily to teach the kids what they do not know about islam, so they wont be  misled. I know they would be fidgety and want to go out and play, but it must be done in such a way that it will interest them more and draw interesting questions from them. Education, good upbringing, basic necessities are all very much required, but Parents must remember that at the end of the day whatever the child turns out to be will be blamed on them. its up to the parent whether the child becomes a believer or an Unbeliever , children are born pure  and they know nothing other than what they see and what they are taught. Some Scholars claim that the Holy Quran came with  a cane ( i may be wrong) but sometimes we need to talk to this Madrassa teachers., so they can at least stop beating the kids in a way, that it will seem to them that religion is a way of making life difficult for them.

This  is a poem, we were taught back in Primary school. I hope i remember all the words

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.



To discipline a child does not necesarry mean, beating them or punishing them in such a way that it will leave scars on their minds.
Also parents must stop scaring the kids,  when they ask questions no matter how foolish they sound, please answer them in the best way possible, so that they will keep asking  and will not be misled.

lekanakel:

May Allaah continue to protect us and our children. Aamiin

Check this:

http://www.islamtoday.com/showme2.cfm?cat_id=35&sub_cat_id=586

Absolutely! And this is why this is such an important discussion. First duty, save YOURSELF, and YOUR family from the blazing fire.

Thanks to you all and Mukina2, to add to your input, we have been able to make "education" (so called western)indeed very attractive to our children, what then are we doing wrong in making the knowledge of Islam even more attractive?


About caning in madrassah, Iam not sure but I think this is a practice that has declined and I agree that we need to continue to educate our teachers on the importance of communication and not just hitting kids all the time. I went to madrassah as an adult, i had kids in my class and there was never any caning (of the kids or me)

I also find caning an unacceptable reason for leaving Islam; in the classrooms of before, you got caned just as in the madrassah but you still completed your education. WHY? because your parents made you see the rewards in hanging in there.

hahahah i went to madrassah as a kid . i can tell you that i had an oustass( we actually had 4) there was this particular one who could cane . trust me when i saw that cane, i would become a mouse

@mukina

so u were a talkative in ur madrassah? Wish i was d ustaz.

@sister ayinba

this is a good thread u started. enuf lessons to learn from it and how to bring up our children when we eventually get married and are blessed with kids.

May Allah reward u.

opps sorry Ayinba i didnt see this part

Mukina2, to add to your input, we have been able to make "education" (so called western)indeed very attractive to our children, what then are we doing wrong in making the knowledge of Islam even more attractive?

The way we try to teach them, remember they are kids and its all about the attitude, if they feel threatened, they wont want to learn but if its made interesting for them, then they will be eager to learn

Java
i was a good girl na

Salam alaykum,

how many of us make it a point of duty to inquire of our kids each they after school, "what did you learn in school today?"

Or/and

" what did you learn about Islam or Allah and his messenger today?"

Ha,    there, gotcha!

not many of us inquire the latter. But our children hear the most profound things in school. From teachers and fellow students. If you were never told, how will you address it?
How many of us take time to discuss current events in the news media with our children and Islam's take on it?
Raising children right is a job you want to do well, but are you?

So you spend lots of naira/dollars/pounds etc to put your daughter through a sound western education. She graduates from law school, medical school, or whatever profession she has chosen. And everyone's happy!

She comes home the following week dressed up in hijab; head covering, modest gown, no make up etc,

Fathers; what says you? what thinks you?

Do you rejoice in Allah and pray Allah makes her path easy OR do you fume inwardly/outwardly and worry how she's gonna get any job at all, husband, another story?

If we failed at first to groom them and prepare them, and they now choose to groom themselves the right way, what kind of support are we giving to our children?

ayinba1 seems u're talking to urself here. no one seems to be paying attention.

"Let he, who believes in Allah and the last day speak what is good or remain silent". Teaching of the Noble Prohet Muhammed (PBUH).

Salam all

I have been following this and conclude that its a nice thread and would also awaken some of us that spend lots of money on our children education but never for one day bother giving them Islamic education.

Firstly, this is being caused when the parent are not 'Muslim'. What I mean by being a muslim is to follow the Sunnah, Quran and Hadith of the Holy Prophet, the five pillars of Islam, articles of faith etc.

Western education is key, no doubt about that but we should not forget that Islamic education is very vital as well and form the bedorck of what we came to do on earth, 'purpose of creation'.

We find parent that are not practising muslim go against their children, both male and female after they might have gone out to study and along the line, acquired Islamic knowledge and come home practising like them never did when with their parent. I have seen parent going against their children just because she decided to be wearing Hijab and I have seen parent going against their male children just because he decided to be following Sunnah and Hadith as it ought to be followed.

The best thing to do is to give them Western Education as well as Islamic for check and balance. Though we have parent that give their children Islamic education but these children, backslide as a result of environment, peergroup, etc.

We parent should know that Western education is for this world while Islamic education is for the hereafter and we are shepherd that would be accountable for our flock. Also the Holy prophet said something on bringing up a female child and the reward for bringing up a male child as well.

We should not spend time, money on giving our children western education only but Islamic education because when we die, it is these children that would be praying, supplicating for the dead parent and we all know the impact of the prayer of the children of the deceased.

We should alwasy try as much as possible to find out how they are doing in their Madrasah, ask questions on what they have learnt and do sit them down and teach them the Quran and Islam.

We shouldnto forget that we should always let them know about other faith too so that when they go out, it would not look strange to them and would not be deceived because they would hear many things outside and would want to ask you and if you dont know about your religion for a start, how would you able to explain it to them and go extra mile in explaining the others.

It is very important to be careful and selective when choosing schools for the children. Children learn a lot from their schools, not only from the teachers, but from their peer groups as well. Ideally, a muslim child shouldn't attend the so-called secular schools, especially at the elementary level. We'll find out that in our society today, schools are basically divided into two: one teaches Islam, the other christainity.
A muslim who wants the best for his children should not put them in any school other than a school that is clearly defined as a Muslim school. Alhamdulilah, we have a lot of these around, and good ones too. Even the public schools aren't left out of the dilemma. Most of them usually go the christain way, on the assemblies and in the classrooms. There was this teacher in my secondary school who'd always pray before and after teaching us and he'll always watch out for the muslims in the class. Woe betide any muslim student who refuses to shout 'Amen' at the top of his voice after this man's 'prayer'. He'd curse, insult and tell the class that that particular student was filled with evil spirit. Can you imagine such nonsense, and the psychological effect it has on a young child.
We can prevent such things by ensuring our wards attend the good ones from among the Islamic schools.

I dont think that really follows: Truth is, the best way to bring up a child to our religious taste is by showing example at home. I was a living example. I know christian songs while back at school like back of my hand, and at the end I am still a muslim till today. There are some parents who may not afford the best school for their kid, but can do with a public school where what you opined above is going on, would you rather suggest such parent should not send their kid to school because of that? Teach your kid your religion at home by example, and you can do this by first insisting that his muslim name should be his name.
Whether we pretend to agree or not, we live in a modern world which differs to era when islam first came into existence, there are lots of scenarios that common sense and not religion doctrines will guide a parents in instilling a religious belief on a kid. I am a parent, and I know what to do on this, moreso when I am a living proof.

twinstaiye:

I don't think that really follows: Truth is, the best way to bring up a child to our religious taste is by showing example at home. I was a living example. I know christian songs while back at school like back of my hand, and at the end I am still a muslim till today. There are some parents who may not afford the best school for their kid, but can do with a public school where what you opined above is going on, would you rather suggest such parent should not send their kid to school because of that? Teach your kid your religion at home by example, and you can do this by first insisting that his muslim name should be his name.
Whether we pretend to agree or not, we live in a modern world which differs to era when islam first came into existence, there are lots of scenarios that common sense and not religion doctrines will guide a parents in instilling a religious belief on a kid. I am a parent, and I know what to do on this, moreso when I am a living proof.

You;re quite right. I also attended public/christain schools throughout. But I'll prefer to put my wards in Islamic schools where what they learn at home does not contradict what they learn in school. If one can afford it, this is better. Afterall, the muslim school'll be a double advantage for them. For those of us who couldn't have it that way, it's quite unfortunate and not all of us are this lucky to come back to Islam.
If my kids can grow up throughout in an Islamic, uncorrupted environment, I'll love it best!

Most of us attended schools where we prayed both ways.

In the schools i attended we had muslim prayers and Christian prayers.

Every sunday we all go off to Madrasa, every morning after Fajr prayers we all read our Qurans,books and or learn duas we were given at madrasa.

None of us changed because of what we were taught, even in high school, i did CRE from grades 10 - 12.

its all about what you teach your kids at home, when they ask you questions about their religion, what you say to them.

I went to Christian schools too and I need not list the things that transpired there. I believe it is a risk that is really not worth it if you have the choice to send your child to an Islamic school.

Not only are you promoting Islam, you are helping Islamic business. How many people have turned away from Islam because they do not see the relationship between it and western education? Countless.

Overall, we parents have the duty to make the good choices within our limits and leave the rest to Allah.

First duty, save YOURSELF, and YOUR family from the blazing fire.

And therein lies the problem.

This statement sums up religion as a whole as it is practiced in the world today. Not just Islam, Christianity is just as guilty. You could say all religions are guilty in some way.

It's save yourself and those close to you. Not "Worship Allah/God for what He is and let Him do His job".
It's "I will worship so that I don't get hurt" or "I will worship so that I'm rewarded".

When you start worshipping for you and yours, you are taking part in something called "Self-service". You're worshipping because you want something.

And who are we really worshipping when we do that?

@bastage

As old as time is, humans, though say they worship God, have more to gain from it than God. There will be people who will worship God for the sake of Him alone;
there are those that will worship so they can gain entrance into aljannah;
there will be those that will do it so they do not enter the blazing fire.

These are all valid reasons.

yoruba people say, "man worhips himself, says he worships God"

ayinba come and continue o

If your children are your future, why send them on suicide bombing mission ?

Just hear yourself . CONFIRMED AGAIN