Making a baby!

This is hilarious!  There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to, '

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh, equipment? '

'It's true, Ma'am, yes, Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted.

nice one buddie

ROFL  

u're sure the woman didnt die? thats killing maHn  

no, she just gave up the ghost.

but you said no dirty word in it

LOL still making me laff, imagine tripod stand for support lmao

@princesa

princesa:

but you said no dirty word in it

But true true, aint one dirty word in it, show me naa?

a kind of man 2 drim of

the concept is totally dirty
and the imagination it gives rise to is also bad, do you still need me to pin-point

I didnt see any durty word in there, please show us princesca.

Tripod

pls is it thhe joke thats dirty or someone's mind? search ur heart o  

infobaba:

Tripod

things that make this dude here smile out loud sure is dirty

lysaa:

please is it thhe joke thats dirty or someone's mind? search ur heart o  

i searched my mind and it is ok, now is ur turn please search

u search me

lol @ all of Ya,
by the way Lysaa, do you know your thread got me banned in my first life on nland?
the one on seun.
hope you have seen him now

princesa:

the concept is totally dirty
and the imagination it gives rise to is also bad, do you still need me to pin-point

u see? dats hw peeps fail exams,
I said not one dirty word in it , didnt say concept,imagination and all ur big big grammer,
sorry if u cant take a joke, ur problem not mine,
humour, my dear, is very subjective,
apparently ur humour rating on a scale of 1 -10 is a negative three (-3)

99.9% bad


dude show me the link

contactuzo:

u see? that is hw peeps fail exams,
I said not one dirty word in it , didnt say concept,imagination and all ur big big grammer,
sorry if u can't take a joke, ur problem not mine,
humour, my dear, is very subjective,
apparently ur humour rating on a scale of 1 -10 is a negative three (-3)

ur words make me cry

Uzo, e never reach that one na,
she's just trying to be funny too.
Thats another side to comedy!
don't you know?
anyway, princesa, i got your joke,nice one babygurl.


@lysaa, make i come search you?
i swear you will like me to search you everyday
when you don cUm like 3 times b4 i search finish!

cooldud62*:

lol @ all of Ya,
by the way Lysaa, do you know your thread got me banned in my first life on nland?
the one on seun.
hope you have seen him now

LMAO, are u serious? maybe u made him jealous.  
i'm sorry abt that tho.

cooldud62*:

Uzo, e never reach that one na,
she's just trying to be funny too.
Thats another side to comedy!
don't you know?
anyway, princesa, i got your joke,nice one babygurl.

atlast someone understands me
@poster
u aint got no humour in ur veins

Honestly speaking Uzo, there are different types of comedy,
You cant understand all anyway,
but it was easy to discern where princesa was going when she made her comment.
Remember this is joke's section,

lysaa,look at my message up there,make i come search?
i wanna help princesa since you asked her to come and search.

cool dude go on with the searching but careful not to catch any bad . . . . . .

lol@ princesa, bad what?
are you on messanger?
lets chat,
i think i like your sense of humour.

@princessa and cool dude

my apologies,
my first post on jokes section,
so dont know all ur twists and turns yet,
idling away time at work,

@orincessa
hypocrite, ur holiness nor last 24hrs sef . .shio

@cooldud62
nor let Seun ban u for the second time o    

nice stuff

Thanks.

what? na u post thread

ask am o

he think say he get nice bla bla bla

Wicked thing

good thing, thats y i like u

cooldud62*:

lol@ princesa, bad what?
are you on messanger?
lets chat,
i think i like your sense of humour.

sorry cant come to chat, maybe next time

lysaa:

@orincessa
hypocrite, ur holiness nor last 24hrs sef . .shio

bad manners corrupt good manners

contactuzo:

@princessa and cool dude

my apologies,
my first post on jokes section,
so don't know all ur twists and turns yet,
idling away time at work,

u are welcome