Somehow, this question tends to pop up later
in life, again, when we reach special
waypoints -- a milestone birthday,
promotion, marriage or parenthood. We still
carry this burden with us: Have we finally
made it?
The answer to this question is very much
dependent on our personal standpoint;
however, we have a tendency to consider
ourselves successful only if we measure up to
general standards of success -- and it can be
quite frustrating when we feel left behind.
1. Live by your own standards. Why don't
we ask ourselves, for a change, how we
define success in life? What are the standards
we are expecting to live up to? It's healthy to
find out, and also, to learn where they stem
from.
Quite often, we are chasing the wrong ideals
for the wrong reasons, and it makes us
miserable. We make ourselves believe that
there are achievements we need to be able
to tick off at some point in life. At the same
time, we neglect what we really want.
The only standards for success in life should
be the ones we set by ourselves. After all, it's
on us to fulfill them. We think we can have it
all -- fame, money and a millionaire lifestyle
-- but we will never feel satisfied if this is
not our ideal in the first place.
2. Look at your life as a whole. Our lives are
always in motion, but when it's time to
evaluate, we do it from a static perspective.
We judge from an angle that doesn't do
justice to how our personality has grown over
the years, which difficulties we have
mastered or what we've learned about life
and ourselves.
It's unfair to just take into account what's
happening in the present and what we own.
It makes us oblivious for what could be
possible if we weren't so blinded by the not
so perfect "now."
3. Put your life in perspective. It can be
humbling to count our blessings before asking
ourselves why we have not made it yet. With
our daily routines keeping us busy and
distracted, we live in a microcosm that we
attach too much importance to.
We forget about the "world out there" that
has nothing to do with office politics, tight
schedules and colleagues who climb the
career ladder faster than us.
I'm talking about the world in which many of
us live decent, privileged lives without even
being aware of it. We take too many things
for granted and end up feeling like a failure.
Just because our peers lead other lives, does
not mean that ours is less successful. It's just
different.
4. Uncover your excuses. How our life turns
is a result of the choices and decisions we've
made or didn't make; however, we like to
find excuses, don't we? In fact, we use them
to make us feel better about ourselves,
because we know that it's ourself who is
standing in our own way most of the time.
Uncovering the reasons takes courage; it can
be an unpleasant and eye-opening
experience. Who likes to discover that it was
all in our own hands, but we just refused to
pull the strings?
The more in-depth questions we ask
ourselves, the more it will help us get the
ideas to create a road map we can consult
when we get stuck. Insight is the first step
towards change, and it can help us push our
life in another direction.
5. Don't overthink -- live. Life cannot be
planned like a project. Our dreams and
standards will never be chiseled in stone. As
life changes, so do we -- and what we've
considered important once can become
obsolete at a later stage.
Priorities shift, so don't desperately cling
onto old dreams just because you had them
when you were younger. Sometimes, it's good
to go with the flow of life, and keep an open
mind to new chances and what resonates with
us.
Don't overthink your life's achievements or
failures. In the end, what counts is that we
manage to be content with our life no matter
where others stand at the time we take stock
of our own.
Put yourself in the shoes of another person
looking at your life. Do you think they would
see it the same way you do?
Success in life is pretty much a matter of
perspective, and perspectives can change,
too. So relax, and enjoy the moment.