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What Should He Do? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: What Should He Do? by Amhappy(f): 10:47am On Jul 24, 2014
That girl is an opportunist. She will still leave this present man when the time comes.
Re: What Should He Do? by pickabeau1: 10:52am On Jul 24, 2014
cococandy:
Both. Afterall she took a vow. So abandonment should be a sort of crime.
And the fraud too.

Abandonment is not a crime.. grin
The second is..


bukatyne:

Sometimes

I think so.. even the Bible says He does not want to destroy but wants (wo)men to repent

dytbabe:

Why not go out, knowingly, hurt a woman that has a pure heart, the one that hasn't done nothing nor wish u bad and watch what can happen in less than a year.


Cococandy, bikonu, let him use the money to look after those kids, feed them well abeg

He shldnt use to do ejo

Many have done it and nothing happened...
Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 11:43am On Jul 24, 2014
The man undid himself, you left the girl you are dating to marry her friend? Common, its obvious he married the kind of woman he deserved.


I don't believe much in waiting for Karma, people should suffer for their deeds right away. Any spouse that abandons the family to start a new life in a foreign country deserves a deportation, i won't think twice before spinning the yarn.

1 Like

Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 11:48am On Jul 24, 2014
dytbabe:

cheesy grin grin

Not like am in support of her actions o, totally wrong and hrtless, bt who knows.




Yeah, who knows...
Re: What Should He Do? by pickabeau1: 12:06pm On Jul 24, 2014
beeevan:
I don't believe much in waiting for Karma, people should suffer for their deeds right away. Any spouse that abandons the family to start a new life in a foreign country deserves a deportation, i won't think twice before spinning the yarn.


What if she is a citizen...and cant be deported
Re: What Should He Do? by Nobody: 12:15pm On Jul 24, 2014
cococandy: His wife abandoned him with their two kids and traveled abroad.
Hearsay has it that she's hooked up with someone else now.
Although they are not legally divorced yet.

can he influence her deportation back to Nigeria?

Note:he doesn't want to continue the marriage with her just wants to punish her for her wickedness.

Is there a way to get her deported?

She does not want him anymore. Is that wickedness?
Re: What Should He Do? by Nobody: 12:18pm On Jul 24, 2014
cococandy:


She met him through the man's former girlfriend who was her friend.
Managed to snatch the guy from her friend.

Married him and he sent her to nursing school.

Trained her until she finished and got a job while he was still doing his business.

They would have done well if she loved him.
But things fell apart when she came up with the 'brilliant' idea of them relocating abroad since nurses make good money over there.

No one saw this coming.

What goes around comes around.
Re: What Should He Do? by Nobody: 12:27pm On Jul 24, 2014
See groove. Why is this guy complaining. He should be a man abeg. Chai. Na only the children I pity.
Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 12:46pm On Jul 24, 2014
pickabeau1:


What if she is a citizen...and cant be deported


I ll count my loses then, but i have to be sure am really helpless before I give up. I can't risk waiting for Karma that might or never come.
Re: What Should He Do? by pickabeau1: 1:04pm On Jul 24, 2014
beeevan:
I ll count my loses then, but i have to be sure am really helpless before I give up. I can't risk waiting for Karma that might or never come.
LOL... revenge beevann grin grin
Re: What Should He Do? by baby124: 1:06pm On Jul 24, 2014
And what if she shows proof she was being physically and emotionally maltreated in Nigeria? What did this man expect when he married a girl he met through such shady ways. For a woman to abandon her kids, then it is obvious she may be an opportunist and a user. She used him to get an education, he is no longer useful to her. Now she has moved on to someone else who has better things to offer. Though you can't really tell what she went through in that marriage.

Advice the guy to move on. He has reaped what he sowed. He went into a marriage filled with controversy. A friend that will betray a close friend like this, God help you. He is lucky he is not dead. She only cleaned him out.

1 Like

Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 1:08pm On Jul 24, 2014
pickabeau1:
LOL... revenge beevann grin grin



People commit these acts because they know that they might never get to pay for it, most people will rather wait for karma sad.
Re: What Should He Do? by pickabeau1: 1:10pm On Jul 24, 2014
beeevan:
People commit these acts because they know that they might never get to pay for it, most people will rather wait for karma sad.

Actually...




























You are Right!
The God of the Old Testament is needed at times though
Re: What Should He Do? by baby124: 1:16pm On Jul 24, 2014
beeevan:



People commit these acts because they know that they might never get to pay for it, most people will rather wait for karma sad.
.

We all pay for our bad deeds, whether in secret or in public. This karma is the law of nature and the payment manifests in so many ways, so it may not be obvious to an outsider. Some people are just unlucky because the whole world witnesses it.
Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 1:28pm On Jul 24, 2014
baby124: .

We all pay for our bad deeds, whether in secret or in public. This karma is the law of nature and the payment manifests in so many ways, so it may not be obvious to an outsider. Some people are just unlucky because the whole world witnesses it.


I prefer the one the world will witness.
Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 1:30pm On Jul 24, 2014
pickabeau1:

Actually...




























You are Right!
The God of the Old Testament is needed at times though



Seeee...you love it too, who doesn't cool.
Re: What Should He Do? by baby124: 1:44pm On Jul 24, 2014
beeevan:


I prefer the one the world will witness.
That is what this guy is witnessing. He betrayed another, and ended up being betrayed and scammed. Who said karma is not real.
Re: What Should He Do? by beeevan: 2:03pm On Jul 24, 2014
baby124:
That is what this guy is witnessing. He betrayed another, and ended up being betrayed and scammed. Who said karma is not real.



Now he is playing the victim card, humans...
Re: What Should He Do? by pickabeau1: 2:34pm On Jul 24, 2014
beeevan:
Seeee...you love it too, who doesn't cool.

grin grin.. Mercy is a good thing too
Re: What Should He Do? by beau49: 2:47pm On Jul 24, 2014
Like people say what goes around comes around....'karma is a bitch'.....although I feel sorry for him,he is reaping what he sowed which is 'betrayal',only that his is even more painful than the one he actually did to his previous girl. He should please focus on the kids and make sure their mother's abandonment does not have a long time effect on them. It could self esteem issues for the kids or the feeling of not being wanted. If he can't be patient enough,the wife would surely reap hers and if the Almighty wants to make it even sweeter he would be there to watch it unfold. Let him take heart eh....
Re: What Should He Do? by troy20(m): 3:01pm On Jul 24, 2014
apolonius: What did he do that a loving wife will abandon him and the kids to run into vast uncertainty? I qualified her as 'loving' because it takes some love to have conceived,kept and raised kids! Did he abuse her?

Well,he should move on as she is sure to face the justice of time.Time is one phenomenon I know that delivers the most assured justice. She will come back pleading in no long a time. Of course,if he has not consistently hurt her. As men we easily take our prized women for granted until the consequences are too late to manage.

In the interim,find love again and pay attention to the kids psyche to be sure they are healing from her 'porting'. Yes,genuinely find love again as this is one thing I know that shatters any ex.smiley
i know you are probably gliding in the wonderous heavens of love right now bro but i dont suppose cococandy gave a picture of a love union.its fairly a usual occurence.an igbo man of means training up a lady in school with the hope of marriage and the lady eventually getting married to him out of debt; usualy a huge debt to commit your life to someone you dont fancy or is in the way of bigger dreams.some dont even pay it.she need'nt love him to have children for him.but right now, she is free as a bird.
Re: What Should He Do? by 5minsmadness: 3:06pm On Jul 24, 2014
Yes he can.
All he has to do is produce legal evidence to the law court, police station and address of where she works. They will recognise the authority of the Nigerian govt and summon her after which if she does not provide satisfactory evidence of termination of marriage she will be deported to settle herself first.
Av seen it happen.
Re: What Should He Do? by cococandy(f): 3:07pm On Jul 24, 2014
Well she could have said she didn't want him anymore and sought a divorce legally with her reasons too.

Than make the man go through all that even believing the whole family was traveling abroad.
How is it not wickedness when she stood by and watched him sell his land and shop and car knowing how hard the economy is and she still had the heart to go with the money.

Or how the kids would survive after bankrupting their father. The last is just 3yrs old.

Hmm. I suspect you're kidding sha smiley

andromida:

She does not want him anymore. Is that wickedness?
Re: What Should He Do? by cococandy(f): 3:22pm On Jul 24, 2014
She wasn't abused.
If anything she was the one that dealt with the man mercilessly.
Her dad before he died was unhappy with her and his wife at the way they used to milk the man and intrude into his business.

I'm not supporting him because I know him o. I know the lady too. Her father was my teacher and we were a lil bit close.

Any evidence of abuse she shows will probably be a doctored one.

You're right though. If she could betray her friend,one can't be surprised she betrayed the man too
baby124: And what if she shows proof she was being physically and emotionally maltreated in Nigeria? What did this man expect when he married a girl he met through such shady ways. For a woman to abandon her kids, then it is obvious she may be an opportunist and a user. She used him to get an education, he is no longer useful to her. Now she has moved on to someone else who has better things to offer. Though you can't really tell what she went through in that marriage.

Advice the guy to move on. He has reaped what he sowed. He went into a marriage filled with controversy. A friend that will betray a close friend like this, God help you. He is lucky he is not dead. She only cleaned him out.
Re: What Should He Do? by cococandy(f): 3:24pm On Jul 24, 2014
What kind of evidence is required.
You know it's we ladies that get to keep the marriage ceritificate. So I'm sure she's with theirs.
The person you know that did it,how exactly did he do it?

Besides how can they trace where she works now.

5minsmadness: Yes he can.
All he has to do is produce legal evidence to the law court, police station and address of where she works. They will recognise the authority of the Nigerian govt and summon her after which if she does not provide satisfactory evidence of termination of marriage she will be deported to settle herself first.
Av seen it happen.
Re: What Should He Do? by pickabeau1: 3:27pm On Jul 24, 2014
Dude.. how far with the zombipocalypse

5minsmadness: .x xx.
Re: What Should He Do? by 5minsmadness: 3:34pm On Jul 24, 2014
cococandy: What kind of evidence is required.
You know it's we ladies that get to keep the marriage ceritificate. So I'm sure she's with theirs.
The person you know that did it,how exactly did he do it?

Besides how can they trace where she works now.

Did they get properly married?

You ladies keep a copy of the marriage certificate. The other copy is in the church. A document of intent is in the local government council where they registered their marriage before the pastor allowed them to go for wedding class.

How to find out where she works? Simply trace her e-footsteps. Either via phone or through Facebook or her mail or even the visa agent. One of them us bound to yield results unless she's a first class criminal.

Send a letter to her workplace(they act faster) or the police station close to her residence stating your greviance and that the woman is needed back in her country to resolve issues with her husband. All this is with the mind that no legal form of divorce has been put in place prior to her departure from this country.

You'll be amazed at the results.
Re: What Should He Do? by 5minsmadness: 3:35pm On Jul 24, 2014
pickabeau1: Dude.. how far with the zombipocalypse

grin
Been busy, will update this evening.
Thanks for following!
Re: What Should He Do? by apolonius(m): 3:41pm On Jul 24, 2014
troy20:
i know you are probably gliding in the wonderous heavens of love right now bro but i dont suppose cococandy gave a picture of a love union.its fairly a usual occurence.an igbo man of means training up a lady in school with the hope of marriage and the lady eventually getting married to him out of debt; usualy a huge debt to commit your life to someone you dont fancy or is in the way of bigger dreams.some dont even pay it.she need'nt love him to have children for him.but right now, she is free as a bird.

Thanks for the perspective. People get conscience sha.sad

1 Like

Re: What Should He Do? by baby124: 3:41pm On Jul 24, 2014
5minsmadness:
Did they get properly married?
You ladies keep a copy of the marriage certificate. The other copy is in the church. A document of intent is in the local government council where they registered their marriage before the pastor allowed them to go for wedding class.
How to find out where she works? Simply trace her e-footsteps. Either via phone or through Facebook or her mail or even the visa agent. One of them us bound to yield results unless she's a first class criminal.
Send a letter to her workplace(they act faster) or the police station close to her residence stating your greviance and that the woman is needed back in her country to resolve issues with her husband. All this is with the mind that no legal form of divorce has been put in place prior to her departure from this country.
You'll be amazed at the results.

Police can do absolutely nothing if she is there legally. Also, they can do absolutely nothing if there is no proof that she has committed a crime. Finally, they can do absolutely nothing without evidence. matter of fact she will be protected if she claims abuse. Which is very easy and possible. Such situations are almost impossible to do. They will never return her to an abusive spouse, lai lai. Not even if she almost killed him in the process of escaping
Re: What Should He Do? by 5minsmadness: 3:50pm On Jul 24, 2014
Seriously what is wrong with you people?
[size=15pt]The Op said SHE snatched the guy from HER FRIEND[/size]!

And what she did was wicked in all ramifications! She stole from the man and abandoned her children!

are you girls so eager to support a woman in all situations?
I give up.
Re: What Should He Do? by 5minsmadness: 4:02pm On Jul 24, 2014
baby124:

Police can do absolutely nothing if she is there legally. Also, they can do absolutely nothing if there is no proof that she has committed a crime. Finally, they can do absolutely nothing without evidence. matter of fact she will be protected if she claims abuse. Which is very easy and possible. Such situations are almost impossible to do. They will never return her to an abusive spouse, lai lai. Not even if she almost killed him in the process of escaping
If you don't know something, ask.

My team handled a similar case 2yrs ago. The only difference was that the woman had issued a statement of divorce which the husband did not honour at the law court. And she did not take anything that belonged to him, that worked in her favor as well if not social security had already started bundling her back to naija.

The second case av been involved in, the woman left her doctor husband for the US, carried her marriage certificate, the children's birth certificate, the proof of ownership of the car he bought for her and the children's and the husband's visas, and finally the deeds to the family land. We simply made copies, reported the originals as stolen, sent her name and what she had done to authorities in the US and also places where she was most likely to visit, along with signed copies of the documents stolen.

She was deported in three weeks.

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