Often when we think
about what damages a relationship, our minds turn to
money troubles or infidelity. And although those are
very real issues for many couples, there are several
other things in life that can contribute to the demise
of your marriage.
We’ve all heard how maintaining a marriage is hard
work. Well, it’s true. But it’s not only about putting in
the work. It’s also about keeping an eye out for those
day-to-day things that creep up on your relationship
and start to become a problem. And typically, these
are things that you don’t expect to cause much
damage. Sometimes, it’s even stuff that you thought
was there to make your relationship stronger. But you
see, even if something has the potential to make your
relationship stronger, it can also make your
relationship weaker… if you aren’t careful.


Here are a few unexpected things that could be
destroying your marriage.


1. Your Gadgets

I love technology as much as the next person. But I
also know how distracting it is, particularly if it’s a
critical part of the work you do. Whether it’s
navigating the web, completing a project, or catching
up with social media, too much time on your
computer can begin to damage your relationship.
Consider blocking out times during the week where
you unplug and spend more time with your spouse.


2. Your friends

Friends typically mean well, but does that really matter
when their “well-meaning” actions and words start to
interfere with your relationship. You and your spouse
both need friends, but you also have to think about
what role those friends play in your life and in your
relationship. How much are you telling them about
your marriage? Do you spend more of your free time
with them than you do with your spouse? These are
just some of the questions you should ask yourself to
determine if your friendships are strengthening your
marriage and not damaging it


3. Your kids

love my kids and so does my husband. But, if you are
not careful, a funny thing happens when you have
kids. You start to have your life revolve around them
and they become the priority—all the time. As a
parent, certainly having your kids as the priority
seems like the right thing, but your spouse should still
be a priority in your life too. Focusing only on your
kids and forgetting all about the person raising them
with you can become a problem.


4. Your career

I’m a pretty driven person, and I have no intentions of
changing that. But I also know that there is a need to
pace myself because I have a husband and kids. If I
become consumed by my drive to succeed, I can
begin to ignore their needs. My husband is my biggest
cheerleader, but if he realises that cheering for me is
causing me to forget about him, imagine how he’ll
feel? Focusing on your career is critical and
commendable, but not at the expense of your
marriage and your family.


5. Your self esteem

Low self-esteem has a negative impact on every area
of your life. If you don’t feel good about who you are,
you end up in this unhealthy pattern that compels you
to look outwards for validation. The problem is, your
spouse can’t give you anything that you aren’t willing
to give yourself, nor should they have to. You may not
realize it, but low self-esteem is one of those things
that slowly eats away at the relationships in your life,
and your marriage is certainly one of them.


Blackandmarriedwithkids.com

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