Of all these marriages, which one is ordained by God? The customary marriage. The man will pay dowry to the father of the damsel and she shall become his wife and he can not put her away all the days of his life. That is why Jesus said in Matt 5:32 and 33 that whosoever marries the woman that has been put away commits adultery.That is why there is supposed to be no divorce in the native way.

@ OP I think this our attitude of alwys abolishin our customary laws in favour of d English law calls for caution. I hope u knw dt ur beloved English law is a product of d English custom? Y abolish all ur custom for another man's custom?
Yea some aspects of our custom may be barbaric bt dts nt enof to do away wt it alltogeda.
As 4 me sha, I go 4 islamic law on marriage coz it encompasses everythin

Who can tell us the best parmanent marriage that brings real permanent love? Why is marriage a contract either customary or statutory? Thanks

Correct

@OP, please do your research properly before putting up public posts. Nollywood has given the igbo tradition so much bad publicity that what ever is potrayed on these so called movies is taken as the norm.

ababanwoke:
You watch a lot of nollywood,that's why you think those laws generally govern all igbo societies,do proper research before publishing any write up. For the person thanking God he/she is yoruba,when our people marry from your side,your law changes

Actually I don't watch Nollywood movies but I have some ibo friends. Either way, the point I was trying to drive affects us all as Nigerians

tbagjames: [b][/b]
no tradition is silly.

But most need to be upgraded. And some are silly. Admit it

Now the simple fact is irrespective of whether your are married under the Statutory law or Customary Tradition,once there is a will in existence and such will was executed properly,the the will takes precedence over everything else.remember a single unmarried man can make a will...Also the supreme court in a recent rulling has voided the tradition and culture of the igbos where female children are not entitled to there parents inheritance, simple because the female child will be married out....(Knowledge is power)

Tnx@op, na statutory marriage i dey oo

Ezeed:



It actually takes precedence over both, it's just that as with many other general rule, this one has exceptions too, of which divesting of the igiogbe is one of them.

I don't get u ma. Subsequent marriage under d act vitiates a will made by a lady. A will made under statutory marriage by a man is still subject to customary law and the wills law abi? It Shud also pass d equitable tests

Well written and very educating. Thanks.

tsolz84: SOME DIFFERENCES BETWEEN STATUTORY MARRIAGE AND CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE
1. NATURE: Statutory marriage is marriage under the Act while customary marriage is marriage under our various Native Laws and Customs.
2. 21 DAYS NOTICE: Statutory Marriage requires the intending couples to publish their intention to marry in the Marriage Registry for 21 days before the proposed marriage but there is no such requirement under customary marriage.
3. LICENCE BEFORE MARRIAGE: Under Statutory Marriage, the intending couples MUST obtain a licence from the Marriage Registry after the 21 days of publication of their intention to marry to enable them celebrate their marriage but there is no such requirement under the customary marriage.
4. NULLITY OF MARRIAGE: Under statutory Marriage, failure of the intending couple to give 21 days notice to the public of their intention to marry or failure to obtain a licence before celebrating the marriage nullifies such marriage. This is not so under Customary marriage
5. NOMENCLATURE: Statutory Marriage is usually called Court Marriage but Customary Marriage is called Traditional Marriage.
6. PROTECTION OF RIGHTS AND DUTIES: Under Statutory Marriage, the right and duties of the couples are protected by law but under Customary Marriage, they are not so protected.
7. PROHIBITION: Under the Statutory Marriage, none of the couple can marry another person while the marriage is subsisting but under Customary Marriage, the man can marry as many wives as he wants.
8. PLACE OF CELEBRATION: Statutory Marriage may be celebrated in the church or in the Marriage Registry but customary marriage is usually celebrated in the girl's village.
9. CONSENT: Under Statutory Marriage, the consent of the intending couple's parents are not compulsory especially if they (the intending couple) are both above 18 years but Customary marriage usually require the consents of both families and or parents.
10. DISSOLUTION: In Nigeria, Statutory Marriage can only be validly dissolved by the various state's High Courts but a Customary Marriage can be dissolve by either the man or the woman

sooperrescue: Of all these marriages, which one is ordained by God? The customary marriage. The man will pay dowry to the father of the damsel and she shall become his wife and he can not put her away all the days of his life. That is why Jesus said in Matt 5:32 and 33 that whosoever marries the woman that has been put away commits adultery.That is why there is supposed to be no divorce in the native way.

God did not ordain anything.

Your god is a fvcking JEW.

yahrant140: I represent yoruba tradition and custom and I'm proud to be a yoruba man!

shout out to micheal adebolajo. He is also proud to be yoruba . Onye ofe nmanu.

I just wonder why MARRIAGE should be all about SHARING OF PROPERTY OF THE HUSBAND!
What even makes us think the Man should die first (so his property can be shared) , before his wife?

Again, looking at our custom and traditions (compared to what is being suggested here) leaves a family behind, property or no property, it is the DUTY & RESPONSIBILITY OF HIS FAMILY TO TAKE CARE OF HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN. No "ifs", .. No "buts".

In the Yoruba tradition which l represent, the wife is "assimilated" into the family by transferring her to the next junior male (though she and the man has a first right of refusal, and l support refusal if she does not intend to re-marry again or is advanced in age) in a system called "Suu'loopo".

The children of the deceased then becomes the immediate responsibility of that junior male and other members of the family.
For example, l lost a senior brother early in life, who has three children and a wife. The wife was supposed to become my "transfered wife" according to our traditions and custome but I have asked the wife to re-marry (whcih she has now happily done and l am her father-in-law so to say! ) but the children which she sired with my elder brother have been "adopted" by myself!
I pay there school fees just like l do my own biological kids, they call me "Dad" and you can hardly notice any difference between my "biological" kids and them. My own kids have accepted them as siblings/brothers and we all live together happily.

That way, they are not exposed to some "paedophile man" their mother may later engage/marry (now, dont get me wrong, she finally married a gentle man and with my consent too); They know that this "Daddy" is their own "flesh and blood", not some stranger! They also know that we are not just "tolerating them" in the family but they are actually members of the family because we all share the same bloodline!

I discipline them exactly like l do my kids and they will never have it across their mind that "he caned me because l am not his biological child"! NEVER!!

As it is, if l compare the suggestion of "legal marriage" as a GUARANTOR of PEACE AND STABILITY when the husband dies, l think you guys are completely WRONG!
Mind you, my deceased brother had properties (two houses, cash and vehicles), ...... his assets are well maintained, IN TRUST for his biological children (house rents minus maintenance costs, into bank account, cars have been sold and resulting cash banked, e.t.c).

It will become useful to the children in future, when they need a large sum of money as time goes on but by my own "policy in life and our tradition", that his money and property is "haram" (in ShayCOW's voice ) to me, NEVER TO BE TOUCHED!
At times, l am wondering what would have become of the "children and assets" if everything was left to his wife, after his death?

There are areas of our "customs and tradition" that may need "fine-tuning" ....like l have to "fine-tune" by insisting l will not marry her, rather, she should take her time to look for somebody she loves!
But what annoys me is this WHOLESALE CONDEMNATION of our CUSTOMS.... as this author is trying to do.

We have left what we are supposed to be doing, in terms of cuture and traditions (to make things work fine) .... and rather chasing after "rules and machinations" that we think will protect us and give us what we want!
And what we have saddled ourselves with is endless court cases and very dangerous level of hatred and bitterness, even amongst supposedly "family members of same blood!".

Oyinbo (white culture) is not always right, ..not for us anyway, In most cases, those rules are put in place to cater for their own "culture and mentality" ...just like we Africans have rules/laws that have been created and used in since time immemorial.

But White people have been able to convince us (we are just Stewpid, the blame is not on them, its on us) that we should jettison our own culture and traditions that were designed for us and our environment ...... and to start using there own (which works for them).
The result is the level of divorce and family upheaval we have in our midst now.
The "Black man NEVER learns, l tell you".

Lastpage!

hybeenoni: @ OP I think this our attitude of alwys abolishin our customary laws in favour of d English law calls for caution. I hope u knw dt ur beloved English law is a product of d English custom? Y abolish all ur custom for another man's custom?
Yea some aspects of our custom may be barbaric bt dts nt enof to do away wt it alltogeda.
As 4 me sha, I go 4 islamic law on marriage coz it encompasses everythin

I don't see the reason for the advancement of the "Whiteman's tradition" over our ancestral customs. As a Proud Ijawman, I am first loyal to Ijaw Custom than to any foreign tradition in the name of "statutory". When It comes to Marriage, I shall marry according to my custom which will be held sacred and will encourage my children to do same. According to my Custom, the wife becomes a daughter to the man's family. She's fully integrated and enjoys all the care and protection from the Man's family. She even take part in the Inheritance of the Man's deceased parent(s) just like any child/son of the family provided that she is married according to our customs and traditions. The Children do not only enjoy the privileges of their father's wealth but also take part in the sharing of family wealth irrespective of the gender. In fact, the wife is more favored than the immediate offsprings of the Parents-inlaws (At least my Mum is a case study).

PAGAN9JA:

God did not ordain anything.

Your god is a fvcking JEW.

Excellent post.. lastpage

myads890: I totally agree. Especially when you use the igbo tradition as an analogy. Many women have been left without a dime to cater for themselves and their children after the deaths of their children simply because of some silly tradition that empowers the relatives, who never struggled with the man nor assisted him in aquiring his wealth, to take everything into custody.

The simple truth is if we must hold on to our tradition we must also be willing to improve on it, especially in certain aspects than go contrary to reason. Our youths today blindly follow the footsteps of our parents without asking questions. What exactly lead to certain beliefs? Was it from insightful research or just plain ignorance, greed or superstition?

The youths, WE, really need to question these ancient beliefs and culture set our own standards for how we want our kids and the future generation to live.

Ill leave with this story. A man once got married and discovered that anytime his wife cooks fish she chops off a large part of the head and also a large part of the tail off and cooks only the middle of the fish. He asked her, "my wife, why do you always cut off the head and the tail of the fish and cook only the middle?". She answered, "that's how my mother taught me to cook". So, he took his wife to see her mother. When they got there, he asked the mother, "mama, anytime my wife cooks fish, she cuts off the head and the tail and cooks only the middle. When I asked her, she said that you taught her to do that. I'd like to know why". The mother said, "my son, that's how my own mother taught me too".

In a quest to find out the answer, the man took his wife and her mother to the grandma's house. When they got there, he asked the grandma, "mama, anytime my wife cooks fish, she cuts off the head and the tail and cooks only the middle. When I asked her, she said she learn it from her mother and when we asked her mother she said she learnt it from you. Now mama, kindly explain why you taught your child to always cut the head and tail of the fish and cook only the middle".

The grandma replied, "my son, when I was very young, we had a very small pot and all the fish couldn't fit inside, just the middle, so we had to cut off the head and the tail in order to be able to cook".

Nigerian youths, WAKE UP!

God bless you. I'm relegated because I think like this. Our society's problem is ignorance.

@lastpage, best post so far. The wife assimilation thing is a cross cultural practice not peculiar to the Yoruba's alone, but also a lot of other tribes, e.g Igbos, ibibios, e.t.c. although not many practice it these days. My people are too quick in castigating anything that has to do with tradition and culture just to suit the white Man's ideology. Pity.

SIRJENTLE: thanks for giving room for corrections.
I do not argue that it does not happen but not all places in Igbo land.
I am a confirm Igbo man and it does not happen in my community as am writing this.

Neither have i ever experienced it where i come from, I am proudly Arochukwu. I have uncles that died intestate, no one has ever harassed their wives or kids on grounds of properties that their husbands left behind. As a matter of fact, they are generally given options as to what they may wish to do to continue taking care of the family. Those educated and willing to work are helped to search out befitting jobs, those willing to trade or do some other forms of business are helped and encouraged. I have it on good authority that no wife that came into my extended family has left the family following the husband's demise. Their kids automatically become children to be taken care of by the family and this is carefully worked out such that fees and upkeep continuous to run seamlessly. There never has been a drop out from school because of death in the family.

It will be helpful when people stop generalizing or relying on what they read, watch or hear to stigmatize everyone from a particular clime.

barcanista: I don't see the reason for the advancement of the "Whiteman's tradition" over our ancestral customs. As a Proud Ijawman, I am first loyal to Ijaw Custom than to any foreign tradition in the name of "statutory". When It comes to Marriage, I shall marry according to my custom which will be held sacred and will encourage my children to do same. According to my Custom, the wife becomes a daughter to the man's family. She's fully integrated and enjoys all the care and protection from the Man's family. She even take part in the Inheritance of the Man's deceased parent(s) just like any child/son of the family provided that she is married according to our customs and traditions. The Children do not only enjoy the privileges of their father's wealth but also take part in the sharing of family wealth irrespective of the gender. In fact, the wife is more favored than the immediate offsprings of the Parents-inlaws (At least my Mum is a case study).

thats cool

in case of dissolving.......in statutory marriage who takes possession of kids (4 kids) ranging from 7yr to 2months.
A friend is planning to but she needs d possession of her kids more than anytin....and she is still currently unemployed!

Yeah, we all need to update and upgrade all our traditions and customs, no matter our tribe or ethnicity. I'm not Igbo Yoruba or Hausa, I'm Esan and have always known that my tribe, customs and traditions aren't the best and to make matters terrible, your tribe, customs and traditions aren't the best, maybe the worst.

chifreke: in case of dissolving.......in statutory marriage who takes possession of kids (4 kids) ranging from 7yr to 2months.
A friend is planning to but she needs d possession of her kids more than anytin....and she is still currently unemployed!

Custody of the kids would be given to the person who is most competent to take care of them financially, emotionally and morally. Women most times get custody, other times, it coud be the men. Other times, the custody could be shared.

Eigbe Alright
Graceville Chambers

emtar: Who can tell us the best parmanent marriage that brings real permanent love? Why is marriage a contract either customary or statutory? Thanks

A contract is an agreement. Marriage is an agreement with terms and conditions fixed by customs, traditions, religion or legislations

earlalright:

Custody of the kids would be given to the person who is most competent to take care of them financially, emotionally and morally. Women most times get custody, other times, it coud be the men. Other times, the custody could be shared.

Eigbe Alright
Graceville Chambers

Tanks so much.
pls the said man will definitely kip d kids with the mum can court grant that.
the Lady wants her kids and nothing more....pls re u a lawyer!

Ezeed:


When ignorant about something, be humble enough to learn.

Nice 1